solumn
i constantly wonder at my own depression. I know it so well and at times i feel i could kill it if i had the strength. But then why didn't i when i knew i was losing her??? Was it her weakness that was such a reflection of my own weakness? Am i still harboring that silent pain to carry it as a torch for the beauty that was once ALL HER MAGESTY??? I konw entirly the love i feel and have felt, i know my own emotions, often times called foolish, lost, full of pain idiotic, or is it that those that observe my pain, only know it too well themselves... and instead of admitting their pain they'd rather hide behind it as i do, not admitting to themselves their pain is the same as mine except in another form. i know this reality to well, i've lived far to many double lives to not understand how people operate. My only problem is i'm to caught up with WHY and HOW instead what to and how to.... accept those things inchangable and change those things unacceptable to the best of your abilities and if you can't oh well at least you tried... and noone can win at everything.
I try so very hard to win always that failure seems complete, no matter what i'm doing.
I see so much beauty and magesty in the world around me, so many women i would LOVE to be with...but i fear my own doubts and insecurities and instead of trying i back down for fear of failure or rejection, never giving my all, always falling back on feelings past lieing in insecurity...
we lie here never let to see
the world as she so should be
pure and naked bared to all
set for us to rise or fall
instead we're given what they think
how they move their harmony
told we're wrong told they're right
made to think our thoughts aren't right
who's to say what's right or wrong
what is life in a world gone wrong
when everythings nothing
when the worlds full of harm
we strive for a peace to help us along
blind to the truth
hoplessly harmed
by a world that is blind
to a world totally wrong....
sf
some fantasy --- so far
I try so very hard to win always that failure seems complete, no matter what i'm doing.
I see so much beauty and magesty in the world around me, so many women i would LOVE to be with...but i fear my own doubts and insecurities and instead of trying i back down for fear of failure or rejection, never giving my all, always falling back on feelings past lieing in insecurity...
we lie here never let to see
the world as she so should be
pure and naked bared to all
set for us to rise or fall
instead we're given what they think
how they move their harmony
told we're wrong told they're right
made to think our thoughts aren't right
who's to say what's right or wrong
what is life in a world gone wrong
when everythings nothing
when the worlds full of harm
we strive for a peace to help us along
blind to the truth
hoplessly harmed
by a world that is blind
to a world totally wrong....
sf
some fantasy --- so far