this noise....
ever sit alone in a room and hear the silence? The ever present hum and flow of the energies around you? At times if you sit for long enough that silence becomes a deafening roar. An unstoppable tidal rush of force driving deeper and deeper inside your mind, till all of a sudden someone or something makes a sound, a real sound. All of a sudden, you're no longer There, all of a sudden you're whisked back into reality and the noise that was just now impossibly loud is totally gone.
When i enter into a crowd of people that i don't know, expecially if its strangers that i need to interreact with i find myself haunted with a noise all to akin to the sounds of silence, and at the same time infinitly different and thousands of times more horrible and magestic all at once. I can only assume that the noise i'm hearing is the sounds of the mind, the ever present turning of the gears that are their minds. Usually it's a controllable hush, but at times it's a deafening scream of insanity, 100 minds crashing into mine, in a force i can't stop much less fend off. Soon afterwards i'm swamped and taken over, soon enough i'm drowning. Where have i gone? What is this energy that has taken a hold of me and now, won't let go?
Is this noise my own insanity? Is it my mind showing me a reflection of those around me in relation to what I KNOW and I FEEL or am i feeling these people? I do not know nor do i ever know if i will find the answers to these questions.
Why is it everything i see in life i wish to understand? When i give these perceptions to those around me, usually i'm laughed at or ridiculed. Noone wants to listen to these mindless meanderings, "why care about these noneessencial things that have no residual value?" because they are the factors that make and break our world these simple things are the ones that sustain and nuture us through life. Otherwise there is nothing, we are nothing and the world we live in no longer is OUR world it becomes it's own being that we are simply LIVING in. BULLSHIT this world is MINE and i want ALL of it. In all it's many beauties and complexities, logic and illogic. Yes i care for the material things, we need them to live day to day. But NO we can't just be materialistic creatures of simplicity. We must step outside that circle and reach for that which we don't understand in a hope to come to a more perfect union with ourselves and our lives...
sigh just some manical meanderings i guess... till next time
sf
surely forgetting --- some falicy
When i enter into a crowd of people that i don't know, expecially if its strangers that i need to interreact with i find myself haunted with a noise all to akin to the sounds of silence, and at the same time infinitly different and thousands of times more horrible and magestic all at once. I can only assume that the noise i'm hearing is the sounds of the mind, the ever present turning of the gears that are their minds. Usually it's a controllable hush, but at times it's a deafening scream of insanity, 100 minds crashing into mine, in a force i can't stop much less fend off. Soon afterwards i'm swamped and taken over, soon enough i'm drowning. Where have i gone? What is this energy that has taken a hold of me and now, won't let go?
Is this noise my own insanity? Is it my mind showing me a reflection of those around me in relation to what I KNOW and I FEEL or am i feeling these people? I do not know nor do i ever know if i will find the answers to these questions.
Why is it everything i see in life i wish to understand? When i give these perceptions to those around me, usually i'm laughed at or ridiculed. Noone wants to listen to these mindless meanderings, "why care about these noneessencial things that have no residual value?" because they are the factors that make and break our world these simple things are the ones that sustain and nuture us through life. Otherwise there is nothing, we are nothing and the world we live in no longer is OUR world it becomes it's own being that we are simply LIVING in. BULLSHIT this world is MINE and i want ALL of it. In all it's many beauties and complexities, logic and illogic. Yes i care for the material things, we need them to live day to day. But NO we can't just be materialistic creatures of simplicity. We must step outside that circle and reach for that which we don't understand in a hope to come to a more perfect union with ourselves and our lives...
sigh just some manical meanderings i guess... till next time
sf
surely forgetting --- some falicy