Rumination 1
Have you ever had a relationship so bad that it ruins all the rest?
You see, i've been clouded for a long time. I had lost my way, alienating friends and family, all for someone who was constantly scared that people were judging.
Judging.
I don't think she liked herself very much, so the eyes and comments that other people made about her bothered her to the core. The less that people expected, the more she could relax without having to truly strive. If it were handed to her, she would gladly take it, but there's no point for her to try to fight. Or so it seems.
It was my haven from my fear to do something with my life. I effortlessly coasted, boasting about my skill with arithmetic, writing, art and never seemed to have to try. At least, not to get by.
So, I took all my trophies and certificates and clever poems in old three-ringed notebooks. Sometimes I like to look back at my former glories, without feeling like I have to make new ones.
That's how I thought and I never tried because I had that person beside me. I can only blame myself, though.
You see, you should be judged by other people. You should have expectations and seek the sometimes fill the expectations of others to better yourself as a person.
People that expect something from you want you to do things with your life, not control it. They expect you to be on the ball and there's nothing wrong with that. Being organized, consistent and driven shows strength of character, even if it isn't for everyone.
Even the most lacksidasical person had to work on their career, unless they were born with a silver spoon.
Train yourself well and you will go places.
It is known.
You see, i've been clouded for a long time. I had lost my way, alienating friends and family, all for someone who was constantly scared that people were judging.
Judging.
I don't think she liked herself very much, so the eyes and comments that other people made about her bothered her to the core. The less that people expected, the more she could relax without having to truly strive. If it were handed to her, she would gladly take it, but there's no point for her to try to fight. Or so it seems.
It was my haven from my fear to do something with my life. I effortlessly coasted, boasting about my skill with arithmetic, writing, art and never seemed to have to try. At least, not to get by.
So, I took all my trophies and certificates and clever poems in old three-ringed notebooks. Sometimes I like to look back at my former glories, without feeling like I have to make new ones.
That's how I thought and I never tried because I had that person beside me. I can only blame myself, though.
You see, you should be judged by other people. You should have expectations and seek the sometimes fill the expectations of others to better yourself as a person.
People that expect something from you want you to do things with your life, not control it. They expect you to be on the ball and there's nothing wrong with that. Being organized, consistent and driven shows strength of character, even if it isn't for everyone.
Even the most lacksidasical person had to work on their career, unless they were born with a silver spoon.
Train yourself well and you will go places.
It is known.