Matthew and J.L. Go to Wendy's
We weren't really going to Wendy's. And why the hell did he have to call me so goddamn early.
"Hey, I need to go to PNC to cash my check."
"Alright, later."
"ok."
I swear I was starting to think the goddamn check was counterfeit, because every damn place we went wouldn't take the fucking check. First it was ACME, then the liquor store, then he went to Jaime's bank, and half a dozen places like that.
"Government refund checks can't be signed over," or "We don't cash checks that are more than two weeks old (it was a month)"
To be honest, at this point, on this morning, when he woke me up out of sleep to say "let's go get my check cashed..." I was about ready to shove the damn thing up his ass and be done with it.
Moments after he called though, I reminded myself I could stop by blockbuster and see if they are hiring, rather than just call. Besides he would pay for the drive.
So 1/2 an hour later I drove a 1/2 mile to his house, strolled up the front porch and lightly pushed aside the oustide cats so they couldn't follow me in. Every fucking cat he has looks just like the cat on the friskies bag. ONE OF THEM IS EVEN NAMED FRISKY, WANNA GUESS WHY? Yep. It looks EXACTLY like the frisky cat on the bag.
"How do you tell the difference between an outside cat and an inside cat, if they all look the same?" you might ask. The answer is "I have no idea." I just try to keep cats that are outside, outside, and cats that are inside, inside.
The bastard sounded all awake when I talked to him on the phone, but when I arrive and stroll right in (which is the usual style for both of us) he is in the shower. How long does it take for him to get ready? 33 minutes.
And finally we're off. Both of us are fucking cranky and wind up on the edge of punching each other by the time we arrive at our first destination: The PNC bank (on route 40) to cash his PNC check from the government. Why didn't we go to the one in newark? I DON'T KNOW!
You know I laughed in his face when they wouldn't cash it. He didn't appreciate that, and since he was already on edge he got more pissed.
"Why wouldn't they cash it this time?" I asked.
"I didn't have two forms of i.d."
I coudln't help but laughing. After half a dozen places, finally for sure he was getting that thing cashed at the PNC bank... BUT NO!!! ahahahahaha.
A few minutes later, J.L. capped our cranky moods for the morning, with a simple weird odd flick of his tongue and a silly smile that made him look like a moron. Thats my brother. He can just suddenly drop his pissed off attitude , and even cheer someone else up with just a look or really bad words sung over songs on the radio, or he could attack your car with a baseball bat... But that guy deserved it.
Blockbuster is hiring! Yah! I should get a call this thursday! I'm such a moron! I would rather work at blockbuster for no money, and talk about movies all day than go out and kill myself making a fortune. I'll never be rich, but I'm just crazy enough to chase my fucking dreams til it kills me. But Blockbuster will prolly hire me, and that makes me happy (for now)!
The good news helped a bit with my mood, and suddenly I heard this horrible statement come out of my mouth.
"Ok, lets go home and get your shit and I'll drive you back to the PNC in newark."
Would someone please tell me what the fuck runs through my head the second before I blurt out something incredibly stupid like that? Nevermind I can answer myself: Nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely NADA! Sometimes I need to stop and think before...
"Dude, you just get this notion in your head and you run with it." (J.L.)
We go home and get his shit, smoke through all the back roads and glorious leaves. Everything came into focus.
"You know man pot makes me forget all the shit that is worrying me."
"EXACTLY," J.L. exclaims "makes you forget everything that is bothering you."
I snapped out of wherever I went during the morning cranky session, and came back to sing the song on the radio...
"Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talking with Davy, who's still in the Navy
And probably will be for life
And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinking alone
Sing us a song you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright"
That song has never made me sad. I always get happy when I hear it. Kind of like that song "Today" by the Smashing Pumpkins that always comes on at the appropriate time. Radio talk gets on my nerves, and usually so does the radio, but I can mark certain moments in my life when "Today" came on and it really was an incredible day. And I can mark a day or two when it came on the radio but the station kept going in and out, and my day mimicked this moment both before and after the song. Could be I'm causing it to happen, or coincidence, but I still think it's neat.
Finally back to his house, and back again to PNC (a closer one this time: Rt. 4 Newark) By this time I had been craving food, specifically Wendy's for a few hours. I love Wendy's. It is about the only fast food I will eat. And the one in North East is particularly good.
So the crazy morning venture turned into a Harold and Kumar go to White Castle type of adventure. From newark, there is a wonderful back-road scenic route that can lead you almost directly to Wendy's in North East. This series of roads is all lined in different trees up each side. The season shined all the different types and colors of blooming leaves.
I was doing fine until we passed a cop (while speeding) and had a completely "baked" car interior... but that didn't even stop me because I don't really care. I'm not afraid, and this seems to be the only reason I have never been arrested for anything stupid my friends have done.
It got me thinking about that time I was at senior beach week with a backpack of half an oz of pot and a full 1/5 of vodka in my backpack. The cops only stopped us cause young drunk Chris got this notion in his head that the cops were after him, and went diving into the bushes as a cop car came down the street to us. This was where level headed, but slightly intoxicated Matt, called Chris back and strolled up to the cop car (now with lights on coming for our group). The cops loved me, but they hated chris. Ah what a memory. No one got arrested (I spoke for Chris when I could). No bags were searched, and now I just find it funny.
After that passing moment of "oh shit," we drove on. J.L. said "I bet I know your route."
He was right, and didn't warn me about the huge detour sign that he missed the day before! So of course I totally missed it too... Even though, he was well aware of it beforehand. I mean wtf?! This was NOT FUNNY. We could have gone around, but he thoughtfully reminded me that I said "I'm not going up that bumpy, crappy little road." That "bumpy, crappy little road" is a one lane, two-way road going up a 45 degree angle hill, curving around a large house... but this left me thinking "I would have gone up the goddamn thing if you had told me I would have to go on a 3 MILE DETOUR INSTEAD, YOU ASSHOLE!"
Finally Wendy's! Hey there is a cute girl at the window that I know. She immediately asks for my number and tells me how much she misses talking to me (we used to work together). Then she tells me as I am handing her my number, that she is now married with two kids?! I have nothing else to say about that at this time.
But I did get my Sendy's, and you know what those freaking bacon cheeseburgers were the best bacon cheeseburgers I have had in a long time. North East Wendy's knows how to make 'em right that is for sure. And the craving for Wendy's that had started over 40 miles and another state before that came to a powerful moment of wonderful satisfaction. I lived that moment of eating little hamburgers after hours of waiting and munchies! And let me stress this undeniable fact: THEY WERE WONDERFUL!
So Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn), I dedicate this experience to you!
"Hey, I need to go to PNC to cash my check."
"Alright, later."
"ok."
I swear I was starting to think the goddamn check was counterfeit, because every damn place we went wouldn't take the fucking check. First it was ACME, then the liquor store, then he went to Jaime's bank, and half a dozen places like that.
"Government refund checks can't be signed over," or "We don't cash checks that are more than two weeks old (it was a month)"
To be honest, at this point, on this morning, when he woke me up out of sleep to say "let's go get my check cashed..." I was about ready to shove the damn thing up his ass and be done with it.
Moments after he called though, I reminded myself I could stop by blockbuster and see if they are hiring, rather than just call. Besides he would pay for the drive.
So 1/2 an hour later I drove a 1/2 mile to his house, strolled up the front porch and lightly pushed aside the oustide cats so they couldn't follow me in. Every fucking cat he has looks just like the cat on the friskies bag. ONE OF THEM IS EVEN NAMED FRISKY, WANNA GUESS WHY? Yep. It looks EXACTLY like the frisky cat on the bag.
"How do you tell the difference between an outside cat and an inside cat, if they all look the same?" you might ask. The answer is "I have no idea." I just try to keep cats that are outside, outside, and cats that are inside, inside.
The bastard sounded all awake when I talked to him on the phone, but when I arrive and stroll right in (which is the usual style for both of us) he is in the shower. How long does it take for him to get ready? 33 minutes.
And finally we're off. Both of us are fucking cranky and wind up on the edge of punching each other by the time we arrive at our first destination: The PNC bank (on route 40) to cash his PNC check from the government. Why didn't we go to the one in newark? I DON'T KNOW!
You know I laughed in his face when they wouldn't cash it. He didn't appreciate that, and since he was already on edge he got more pissed.
"Why wouldn't they cash it this time?" I asked.
"I didn't have two forms of i.d."
I coudln't help but laughing. After half a dozen places, finally for sure he was getting that thing cashed at the PNC bank... BUT NO!!! ahahahahaha.
A few minutes later, J.L. capped our cranky moods for the morning, with a simple weird odd flick of his tongue and a silly smile that made him look like a moron. Thats my brother. He can just suddenly drop his pissed off attitude , and even cheer someone else up with just a look or really bad words sung over songs on the radio, or he could attack your car with a baseball bat... But that guy deserved it.
Blockbuster is hiring! Yah! I should get a call this thursday! I'm such a moron! I would rather work at blockbuster for no money, and talk about movies all day than go out and kill myself making a fortune. I'll never be rich, but I'm just crazy enough to chase my fucking dreams til it kills me. But Blockbuster will prolly hire me, and that makes me happy (for now)!
The good news helped a bit with my mood, and suddenly I heard this horrible statement come out of my mouth.
"Ok, lets go home and get your shit and I'll drive you back to the PNC in newark."
Would someone please tell me what the fuck runs through my head the second before I blurt out something incredibly stupid like that? Nevermind I can answer myself: Nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely NADA! Sometimes I need to stop and think before...
"Dude, you just get this notion in your head and you run with it." (J.L.)
We go home and get his shit, smoke through all the back roads and glorious leaves. Everything came into focus.
"You know man pot makes me forget all the shit that is worrying me."
"EXACTLY," J.L. exclaims "makes you forget everything that is bothering you."
I snapped out of wherever I went during the morning cranky session, and came back to sing the song on the radio...
"Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talking with Davy, who's still in the Navy
And probably will be for life
And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinking alone
Sing us a song you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright"
That song has never made me sad. I always get happy when I hear it. Kind of like that song "Today" by the Smashing Pumpkins that always comes on at the appropriate time. Radio talk gets on my nerves, and usually so does the radio, but I can mark certain moments in my life when "Today" came on and it really was an incredible day. And I can mark a day or two when it came on the radio but the station kept going in and out, and my day mimicked this moment both before and after the song. Could be I'm causing it to happen, or coincidence, but I still think it's neat.
Finally back to his house, and back again to PNC (a closer one this time: Rt. 4 Newark) By this time I had been craving food, specifically Wendy's for a few hours. I love Wendy's. It is about the only fast food I will eat. And the one in North East is particularly good.
So the crazy morning venture turned into a Harold and Kumar go to White Castle type of adventure. From newark, there is a wonderful back-road scenic route that can lead you almost directly to Wendy's in North East. This series of roads is all lined in different trees up each side. The season shined all the different types and colors of blooming leaves.
I was doing fine until we passed a cop (while speeding) and had a completely "baked" car interior... but that didn't even stop me because I don't really care. I'm not afraid, and this seems to be the only reason I have never been arrested for anything stupid my friends have done.
It got me thinking about that time I was at senior beach week with a backpack of half an oz of pot and a full 1/5 of vodka in my backpack. The cops only stopped us cause young drunk Chris got this notion in his head that the cops were after him, and went diving into the bushes as a cop car came down the street to us. This was where level headed, but slightly intoxicated Matt, called Chris back and strolled up to the cop car (now with lights on coming for our group). The cops loved me, but they hated chris. Ah what a memory. No one got arrested (I spoke for Chris when I could). No bags were searched, and now I just find it funny.
After that passing moment of "oh shit," we drove on. J.L. said "I bet I know your route."
He was right, and didn't warn me about the huge detour sign that he missed the day before! So of course I totally missed it too... Even though, he was well aware of it beforehand. I mean wtf?! This was NOT FUNNY. We could have gone around, but he thoughtfully reminded me that I said "I'm not going up that bumpy, crappy little road." That "bumpy, crappy little road" is a one lane, two-way road going up a 45 degree angle hill, curving around a large house... but this left me thinking "I would have gone up the goddamn thing if you had told me I would have to go on a 3 MILE DETOUR INSTEAD, YOU ASSHOLE!"
Finally Wendy's! Hey there is a cute girl at the window that I know. She immediately asks for my number and tells me how much she misses talking to me (we used to work together). Then she tells me as I am handing her my number, that she is now married with two kids?! I have nothing else to say about that at this time.
But I did get my Sendy's, and you know what those freaking bacon cheeseburgers were the best bacon cheeseburgers I have had in a long time. North East Wendy's knows how to make 'em right that is for sure. And the craving for Wendy's that had started over 40 miles and another state before that came to a powerful moment of wonderful satisfaction. I lived that moment of eating little hamburgers after hours of waiting and munchies! And let me stress this undeniable fact: THEY WERE WONDERFUL!
So Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn), I dedicate this experience to you!