So It Goes

[wallycaine]

Ugh... I'm frustrating myself too much lately. I've been stressing myself out, and I'm not entirely sure how to stop. Usually my answer would be to get away from the source of the frustration/stress, but... since the frustration is mostly my fault, and the person who's causing it probably isn't even aware they're causing it, it seems unfair to avoid one of my best friends up here just because I can't deal with my own feelings. I'd try at least limiting my time around her, but my traitorous mind always agrees to whatever's suggested before I even think about putting it off slightly. I've only got myself to blame, but that doesn't stop my neck from knotting up or my emotions from feeling like they've gone through the ringer after I head home. While I'm there, of course, everything is fine... it's only when I've got time to myself to think that I end up beating myself up over it. I suppose that's one of the reasons I've been avoiding being all alone, while still not necessarily wanting to be around people.  Sigh... I've just gotta suck it up and deal, I suppose. Usually I don't like that sort of attitude, but for this... there's not much else to do. Confession does no one any good, and we can all hear how well bottling it up is working out. I'll survive, and hopefully thrive eventually.

-Wally C.