Alone

[wallycaine]

I don't deal well with weekends, frequently. I get all out of kilter, and for a while, I wasn't sure what was causing it. Now, I've got a vague glimmering, though I could be wrong. Personally, I think it all has to do with people. Or more specifically, the lack thereof. I suck at dealing with people, but moreso than that, I suck at dealing with myself. Having people around gives me a nice buffer against having to deal with myself. When there's no one around to talk to, it's tougher to deal with the self esteem, it's harder to keep from messing with myself, and it's easier to get worked up over absolutely nothing. I used to think I was a loner, but now that I've actually spent time all by myself... I need people. I guess that's part of why I love/hate the internet. People always could be just a few clicks away... but it's only a could be. I don't know for sure that they're getting what I'm saying, or that I'm not annoying them, or any number of other things. I may be awful at reading body language, but I'm much much worse at it when I don't even have a body to read.

-Till the next time we talk, Wally C.