Work Update - I'm Screwed
I thought I would give a bit of a update on my working issues, since I saw the doctor on Wednesday. My doctor is a pill guy and basically danced around the issue that the seizures are caused by stress. But, I've been seizure free for two and a half years and was already on 1,200 MGs of the meds. There is noway it's a med issue, as he seems to think. Still, he uped by dose to 1,800 MGs a day - unheard of and way too much. He said it could be stress, and if the blood work comes back normal, yeah. I believe it to be stress, and I told my boss as much. (Maybe not the best idea, looking back). But, now that I'm on 1,800 MGs a day, there is a 2 out of 3 chance that I'll have more seizures or get "very sick". Not even sure what "very sick" means.
The Story:
I got a call from my co-worker, In last night. We discussed things and I truthfully told her that there is just a lot coming at me and it is too much and the seizures are more than likely caused by stress and that I think I should go.
I later emailed my Goodwill counselor and my LRS counselor and told them I was unhappy and having seizures and I needed to go. I laid out all the facts.
This morning, we went to L, the office manger, and told her everything. Basically, I signed a little work agreement with the Louisiana Rehab Services and Goodwill stating that I would stay until March. And, I plan to stay. They were very understanding and kind. Hey, it isn't for everyone and it is a lot to take in, especially in a first job and with no medical background.
After the meeting, I checked my phone and found an angry email from my Goodwill counselor. Telling me NOT to talk to L or the doctors until I talked with her. Ops. I called her and the first words out of her mouth were: "I'm confused. I thought you loved it there." She then spent seven minutes trying to suggested: a) I'm a spoiled brat, whose not ready or willing to work, b) maybe I could work in the back and just do insurance cards or quiet work? Didn't I like calling insurance companies? c)I didn't quite yet, did I? Because we could save this. I should stay and give it more time. and d) You know, it's the hard truth, but you put too much pressure on yourself and you are too serious. You put the stress on yourself. I told her I just felt uncomfortable now and I really think I should go. She said there will have to be an Exit Meeting where I get documents from my doctor that the seizures are from the job and that she wants to be there. No, she will be there.
Two hours later, she called office and asked to speak with L. Oh, shit. God knows what she told her.
The question is - now what? I know my Goodwill Counselor will try and keep me at the office, because she doesn't get paid if I don't stay for 3 months. But, I'm willing to stay for the month of March, even if that means working half-days, as was suggested by L. My LRS Counselor wants to be at the Exit Meeting and is not answering my calls/emails. She'll surely have some not so nice things to say to me. I mean, in the years I've known her, she's never listened and tends to belittle me. My doctor isn't going to say it is stress - he knows the doctors I work for and danced around the issues while saying that I "had to get use to it" and more or less implying that I'm a spoiled child whose quitting because people are rude to me.
The truth is, I was willing to stay until July - than the seizures started. Maybe I am causing them from unneeded stress. But, that doesn't mean they aren't happening. They are. Four in two weeks. This is my health. There is no way that this is because I'm not taking enough meds. If that is the case, there must be something seriously wrong with me. 1,800 MGs of a strong antiseizure med is a lot. I'm in a fog all day.
Now what? Goodwill and LRS will surely fight to get me to stay and/or throw me under the bus. My doctor will never admit that it is stress - he'll over more meds. I'm trapped. I'm tired. I'm angry and I'm hurt.
The Story:
I got a call from my co-worker, In last night. We discussed things and I truthfully told her that there is just a lot coming at me and it is too much and the seizures are more than likely caused by stress and that I think I should go.
I later emailed my Goodwill counselor and my LRS counselor and told them I was unhappy and having seizures and I needed to go. I laid out all the facts.
This morning, we went to L, the office manger, and told her everything. Basically, I signed a little work agreement with the Louisiana Rehab Services and Goodwill stating that I would stay until March. And, I plan to stay. They were very understanding and kind. Hey, it isn't for everyone and it is a lot to take in, especially in a first job and with no medical background.
After the meeting, I checked my phone and found an angry email from my Goodwill counselor. Telling me NOT to talk to L or the doctors until I talked with her. Ops. I called her and the first words out of her mouth were: "I'm confused. I thought you loved it there." She then spent seven minutes trying to suggested: a) I'm a spoiled brat, whose not ready or willing to work, b) maybe I could work in the back and just do insurance cards or quiet work? Didn't I like calling insurance companies? c)I didn't quite yet, did I? Because we could save this. I should stay and give it more time. and d) You know, it's the hard truth, but you put too much pressure on yourself and you are too serious. You put the stress on yourself. I told her I just felt uncomfortable now and I really think I should go. She said there will have to be an Exit Meeting where I get documents from my doctor that the seizures are from the job and that she wants to be there. No, she will be there.
Two hours later, she called office and asked to speak with L. Oh, shit. God knows what she told her.
The question is - now what? I know my Goodwill Counselor will try and keep me at the office, because she doesn't get paid if I don't stay for 3 months. But, I'm willing to stay for the month of March, even if that means working half-days, as was suggested by L. My LRS Counselor wants to be at the Exit Meeting and is not answering my calls/emails. She'll surely have some not so nice things to say to me. I mean, in the years I've known her, she's never listened and tends to belittle me. My doctor isn't going to say it is stress - he knows the doctors I work for and danced around the issues while saying that I "had to get use to it" and more or less implying that I'm a spoiled child whose quitting because people are rude to me.
The truth is, I was willing to stay until July - than the seizures started. Maybe I am causing them from unneeded stress. But, that doesn't mean they aren't happening. They are. Four in two weeks. This is my health. There is no way that this is because I'm not taking enough meds. If that is the case, there must be something seriously wrong with me. 1,800 MGs of a strong antiseizure med is a lot. I'm in a fog all day.
Now what? Goodwill and LRS will surely fight to get me to stay and/or throw me under the bus. My doctor will never admit that it is stress - he'll over more meds. I'm trapped. I'm tired. I'm angry and I'm hurt.