Conflicts
I believe in patterns. You all know this by now. But somehow I'm still searching for a reason to be in this relationship. I looking for an excuse for it not to be the same relationship I had with Alex. The differences are very different and that brings me comfort but the similarities are frightening. There is this lack of emotional connection. I adore him but he is far beyond that. Frankly I need to walk away but I don't want to because there have been some differences in this relationship that have never existed in the others. There is no end date. That is huge. We sat down one night when I was stoned and he asked me to share my issues. I did. I told him all my reservations about our relationship and my core issues with men. And he was ok with it all. Granted it took us both a night to let things soak in but he wasn't stupid about anything. We cook dinner together almost every night. It's very equal materialistically. He does things thoughtful and nice that I appreciate and he feels I do the same. He is probably what most girls are looking for. But there is that elemental infatuation lacking for me. Most of my past relationships have been emotionally intense and exciting and I find that lacking with Eric. It is much more relaxed and peaceful. I adore him but I don't find myself emotionally attracted to him any more than with was in the beginning. Ey. I'm done talking about this now.