oh deeeeeeeean, you're breaking my heart
Okay, so now I've watched it. And I still haven't stopped crying.
I love the beginning, the oh so not subtle reminder that in real life, they're wanted by the police and the FBI, that they're fugitives that can't stay in one place for too long because they'll get arrested and carried off to prison. (Again.)
And then. MY GOD. The fantasy life. DEAN. DEEEEEEEAAAAAAN. Ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it with his big black boots and left it in a gooey puddle on the floor. *cries*
Jensen Ackles acted THE HELL out of this episode. I love his awkward face WHILE HE'S KISSING someone. When Carmen woke up and came out and he was all "do I know you?" and she came up and kissed him, that actually made me laugh. It was like the only thing in this episode that did. (Except for the phone out the window, that was BRILLIANT.)
I think I started crying when he saw the picture, and his face was just this mix of hope and happiness and love and sadness and everything he's been living with for the past 24 years. I kind of wish we could have seen the picture, but I guess it's enough to know it was of his mom. And not his mom when he was a baby but his mom when he was, like, nine.
Actual sobbing commenced when she opened the door and THAT LOOK on his LITTLE FACE. And he didn't hug her till later because he wanted to be sure it was her! Because he can't trust ANYTHING THAT'S GOOD. (And with good reason, since this wasn't good, but still.)
And then the middle bits, all the painful little reminders of the difference between this life and the life he leads. Mowing the yard (which made me laugh and cry at the same time, because he was SO FREAKING THRILLED to be doing something so normal), eating a sandwhich, kicking back a beer, waving to the neighbors (and how awesome was the awkward wave back?!).
I loved the dinner, with Carmen being AWESOME (I'm really glad she was that awesome and not one of the slightly messed up things in this fantasy) and SAM AND JESS GETTING ENGAGED. Man, I cried at that too because it's so clearly what Dean wishes Sam could have had.
And Sammy. Oh, Sammy. *cries some more* Man, that awkwardness between them was painful. So freaking painful. I hated it when Sam kept backing away from him, saying they had nothing in common, that they weren't friends. That HURT. It hurt Dean too and GOD that was sad. But Lord, when he climbed in the car with him at the end to go with him to get the djinn, no questions just, you're my brother and I need to help you. Even though they aren't friends, there's something at their core, something that circumstances can't erase because they're still there for each other, still willing to help even though there's anger and pain mixed in with it. They are brothers. *sighs*
The graveyard. I don't even know that I can be coherent about that. It was brilliant and painful and yeah, WHY!? Poor Dean. That hurt so much.
The end. God, that killed me too. All of them showing up, making cases for the fantasy life and SAM. Oh, Sam. Repeating the lines from the graveyard back to him. "Haven't you done enough?" *cries* And then Dean, looking at Sam and saying he's sorry. Like he'd stay in the fantasy because he knows Sam is happy but he CAN'T because there's a real Sammy out there who still needs his help.
The ep file messed up in the last scene so I don't know if I missed anything but MY GOD people, is it too much to ask for a hug? Just one hug between BROTHERS when one of them is clearly all MESSED UP AND SAD!? Dean's going to be getting over this forever, I think. Sammy, he made me cry when he said he was glad they were friends, that they had a connection.
Just. GAH. I love this episode to little bitty pieces. *draws broken hearts around it*
I love the beginning, the oh so not subtle reminder that in real life, they're wanted by the police and the FBI, that they're fugitives that can't stay in one place for too long because they'll get arrested and carried off to prison. (Again.)
And then. MY GOD. The fantasy life. DEAN. DEEEEEEEAAAAAAN. Ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it with his big black boots and left it in a gooey puddle on the floor. *cries*
Jensen Ackles acted THE HELL out of this episode. I love his awkward face WHILE HE'S KISSING someone. When Carmen woke up and came out and he was all "do I know you?" and she came up and kissed him, that actually made me laugh. It was like the only thing in this episode that did. (Except for the phone out the window, that was BRILLIANT.)
I think I started crying when he saw the picture, and his face was just this mix of hope and happiness and love and sadness and everything he's been living with for the past 24 years. I kind of wish we could have seen the picture, but I guess it's enough to know it was of his mom. And not his mom when he was a baby but his mom when he was, like, nine.
Actual sobbing commenced when she opened the door and THAT LOOK on his LITTLE FACE. And he didn't hug her till later because he wanted to be sure it was her! Because he can't trust ANYTHING THAT'S GOOD. (And with good reason, since this wasn't good, but still.)
And then the middle bits, all the painful little reminders of the difference between this life and the life he leads. Mowing the yard (which made me laugh and cry at the same time, because he was SO FREAKING THRILLED to be doing something so normal), eating a sandwhich, kicking back a beer, waving to the neighbors (and how awesome was the awkward wave back?!).
I loved the dinner, with Carmen being AWESOME (I'm really glad she was that awesome and not one of the slightly messed up things in this fantasy) and SAM AND JESS GETTING ENGAGED. Man, I cried at that too because it's so clearly what Dean wishes Sam could have had.
And Sammy. Oh, Sammy. *cries some more* Man, that awkwardness between them was painful. So freaking painful. I hated it when Sam kept backing away from him, saying they had nothing in common, that they weren't friends. That HURT. It hurt Dean too and GOD that was sad. But Lord, when he climbed in the car with him at the end to go with him to get the djinn, no questions just, you're my brother and I need to help you. Even though they aren't friends, there's something at their core, something that circumstances can't erase because they're still there for each other, still willing to help even though there's anger and pain mixed in with it. They are brothers. *sighs*
The graveyard. I don't even know that I can be coherent about that. It was brilliant and painful and yeah, WHY!? Poor Dean. That hurt so much.
The end. God, that killed me too. All of them showing up, making cases for the fantasy life and SAM. Oh, Sam. Repeating the lines from the graveyard back to him. "Haven't you done enough?" *cries* And then Dean, looking at Sam and saying he's sorry. Like he'd stay in the fantasy because he knows Sam is happy but he CAN'T because there's a real Sammy out there who still needs his help.
The ep file messed up in the last scene so I don't know if I missed anything but MY GOD people, is it too much to ask for a hug? Just one hug between BROTHERS when one of them is clearly all MESSED UP AND SAD!? Dean's going to be getting over this forever, I think. Sammy, he made me cry when he said he was glad they were friends, that they had a connection.
Just. GAH. I love this episode to little bitty pieces. *draws broken hearts around it*