for jaiyi really
in budapest i really got to open my eyes, to bring my visual observations to europe, and to draw on a language that looked like it was from mars most of the time. a city with a rich graphic tradition, where the buildings were covered in terra cotta and statues and curlicues and all sorts of other things i learned the real name for in art history. thanks brain! there was also a public transit system intact from the 50s/60s, gypsies everywhere, and buildings that haven't been touched since before WWII, and other structures newly renovated to serve the growing number of hungarians and foreigners able to shop at chanel in budapest.
i collected every paper i could and spent hours clipping out images for collages, i have a library of them now.
i guess i learned how depressing globalization can be, how unrelenting development is not limited to the american suburbs. i also learned being a professional means being non interesting in conversation and generally an ass to everyone else, because you are important.
it was just the wrong environment for me, working under an oil man from texas and his hungarian "girlfriend"
i grew closer with my friends i knew from a course i took in slovakia, and hung out with a guy named akos only to have him turn out to be like every other straight douchebag. at least he drove me to croatia and we had a blast there, meeting russians and drinking with russians.
then i came back to chicago, with no money, failed applications to schools both in hungary and in the usa, and a big lie that i had to come home because my uncle was getting married. he never did, and i had to leave heaven, vienna, where i had a place to stay, and someone to feed me, and men liked me because i knew slovak. the only guys who ever will, besides the slovaks.
my dad got me a job working at his mall for a frame shop, which never got me that excited or extra motivated, because i knew i'd only be there until christmas.
i still was very anti everything in my head, voting for the green party and thinking every american was out to rob the world of its oil and lasts breath of life.
then i moved out to logan square, started studio art, which also didn't motivate me very much, because i'm finding i need a place to work and not much structure beyond that. i've moved again, farther north in logan square, away from my stoner roommates and their lives spent watching family guy and the simpsons. one roommate was also a traditional gay, so that wasn't good either.
i have one friend in town, a girl named sierra i met at school, we occasionally see each other to drink wine and smoke clove cigarettes. in fact, she's really great. if only she could find me a bf. she always talked about her life journey, and i thought she was in a cult. really, she just sees a therapist, and i think i'm going to start seeing him soon, as soon as i get a job. to me it seems like he gives you some direction in a culture revolving around instant gratification and ever lowering moral standards. he's also for people like me who don't share values with their parents, grandparents, family, and don't ascribe to any religious tradition.
i've already started to get away from my judgments, my stereotypes, my negative vibe and self-deprecation. My utter feeling of loss for the world i live in, my blaming for everything in my life on Reagan.
also being in chicago, i had to transition from "i'm a hipster and look at these people. i'm just going to appropriate everything" to "i'm a native and i'm going to get more out of it if i go with the flow"
other than that i'm looking forward to starting school in a few weeks, and enjoying some time at lake michigan.
i guess i'm also trying to find my space in this coal mine town, an art job with flexibility. a job that i have to create myself, because noone's going to give it to me.
i collected every paper i could and spent hours clipping out images for collages, i have a library of them now.
i guess i learned how depressing globalization can be, how unrelenting development is not limited to the american suburbs. i also learned being a professional means being non interesting in conversation and generally an ass to everyone else, because you are important.
it was just the wrong environment for me, working under an oil man from texas and his hungarian "girlfriend"
i grew closer with my friends i knew from a course i took in slovakia, and hung out with a guy named akos only to have him turn out to be like every other straight douchebag. at least he drove me to croatia and we had a blast there, meeting russians and drinking with russians.
then i came back to chicago, with no money, failed applications to schools both in hungary and in the usa, and a big lie that i had to come home because my uncle was getting married. he never did, and i had to leave heaven, vienna, where i had a place to stay, and someone to feed me, and men liked me because i knew slovak. the only guys who ever will, besides the slovaks.
my dad got me a job working at his mall for a frame shop, which never got me that excited or extra motivated, because i knew i'd only be there until christmas.
i still was very anti everything in my head, voting for the green party and thinking every american was out to rob the world of its oil and lasts breath of life.
then i moved out to logan square, started studio art, which also didn't motivate me very much, because i'm finding i need a place to work and not much structure beyond that. i've moved again, farther north in logan square, away from my stoner roommates and their lives spent watching family guy and the simpsons. one roommate was also a traditional gay, so that wasn't good either.
i have one friend in town, a girl named sierra i met at school, we occasionally see each other to drink wine and smoke clove cigarettes. in fact, she's really great. if only she could find me a bf. she always talked about her life journey, and i thought she was in a cult. really, she just sees a therapist, and i think i'm going to start seeing him soon, as soon as i get a job. to me it seems like he gives you some direction in a culture revolving around instant gratification and ever lowering moral standards. he's also for people like me who don't share values with their parents, grandparents, family, and don't ascribe to any religious tradition.
i've already started to get away from my judgments, my stereotypes, my negative vibe and self-deprecation. My utter feeling of loss for the world i live in, my blaming for everything in my life on Reagan.
also being in chicago, i had to transition from "i'm a hipster and look at these people. i'm just going to appropriate everything" to "i'm a native and i'm going to get more out of it if i go with the flow"
other than that i'm looking forward to starting school in a few weeks, and enjoying some time at lake michigan.
i guess i'm also trying to find my space in this coal mine town, an art job with flexibility. a job that i have to create myself, because noone's going to give it to me.