(no subject)
I guess lately, my thoughts have consummed me. This brings me to toss and turn at night and day and curse only to myself. I don't curse in front of others, but I probably should, to let them know what I'm feeling. I have so much to be grateful for, so much to appreciate and be joyous about. I am blessed beyond belief, and yet, I feel awful. I am consumed by the only thing bad in my life. Maybe in a few years I won't view it as bad, but right now, it is all I can think about. It makes me sick to my stomach and weap more than I have ever before in my life. I know I could turn things around, let things go, let her go, but I can't. Not mentally, not emotionally. Maybe I could, but I'm not. No, right now, I can't. I just try to find the next distraction to make me forget.