Drowning (2/?)
Title: Drowning (2/?)
Rating: M for Mature
Pairing: Kurt-centric, Sam/Kurt friendship, possibly pre-slash or more
Summary: With LGBT teen suicide at the front of people's minds, Emma decides to have a talk with Kurt. Will assigns the gleeks to find songs about hope or hopelessness.
Disclaimer: I am not making any profit from this, nor do I claim ownership of the characters or basic plot outline. I'm simply borrowing from Glee & its writers for the sake of creativity. Cut lyrics from It Gets Better (Jay Kuo, Blair Shepard & Broadway Sings For The Trevor Project)
Warnings: deals with issues of depression, suicide abd bullying; mentions of self-harm; use of derogatory and homophobic words/phrases/attitudes
Click for other chapters
Author's Notes/Extended Disclaimer: I wanted to comment on the fact that I feel extremely guilty for drawing from the events that gave me the idea for this story - I would much rather this story never exist than have the reality of these suicides. I know that this isn't a topic to be taken lightly. It just seemed to be an issue that would have some effect on Kurt, if Glee were truly to be happening in "real-time", and once the idea wormed it's way into my head, I couldn't make it go away. In the event that someone personally connected to any of the recent deaths - or, honestly, anyone who's dealt with suicide in some way during their lives - stumbles across this story, I am so sorry; I don't mean any disrespect, harm or offense.
That being said, I'd also like to emphasize that suicide isn't the answer. Please find help if you're feeling like it is. Please. Believe me - you matter, as does your life.
Kurt found himself distracted the whole time he was in class, spending far too much time looking at his classmates and trying to decide who might honestly have confided in Ms. Pillsbury about being gay. He knew it wasn’t any of his business, but no one could really blame him for being curious - the idea of having someone he could relate to was really appealing. Maybe that wasn’t even what she’d meant - he could have misinterpreted. He didn’t really want to believe that, though.
Thanks to his distraction, the first half of the day had passed in a bit of a haze, and it wasn’t until the lunch bell rang and he walked out of his classroom that he really snapped out of it. Of course, this was only due to the fact that he was met with a face full of freezing cold slushy. Sighing, he made his way to the washroom and cleaned himself off as best he could before digging a change of clothes out of his bag. He changed, letting his damaged clothing set in cold water for a while in the hopes of preventing stains, before he finally made his way to his locker to drop off his books and get his lunch.
On the way to the cafeteria, he past the guidance office and paused for a second as he considered whether or not he should go apologize for how quickly he’d left the day before. But Ms. Pillsbury had always been supportive of the Glee club, so he was fairly certain that she’d understood and wasn’t upset with him. Besides, the Do-Not-Disturb sign was hanging from the doorknob, clearly meaning that she was already busy talking with someone else.
Curiously, he took a glance through the windows as he walked passed, continuing to the cafeteria; Sam Evans was sitting across from Ms. Pillsbury, looking more than a little upset - and that kind of freaked Kurt out a bit. Sam always seemed so collected and put together; it was unnerving to see him looking so bothered. He tried not to think about it, though, shaking it from his head as he joined Mercedes, Finn and Rachel at their usual lunch table. He sighed, muttering something about getting slushied when everyone asked him what had taken him so long.
The rest of the day was, thankfully, uneventful, and Kurt breathed a sigh of relief when classes ended and he met up with Quinn to walk to the gym. They were in for a long and gruelling practise, but he didn’t mind - he found that, although exhausted, he tended to feel a bit better after spending so much time moving around and dancing.
-x-x-x-
Kurt’s desk was off-limits, and Finn knew that, but he was desperate - Kurt wouldn’t be home from Cheerio practise for at least two more hours and he really needed to start on his Spanish paper so that he could go out with Rachel later. He just figured that, if he could find Kurt’s notes, he might be able to make a better start on the assignment. He hadn’t expected to find anything out of the ordinary - honestly, he hadn’t even paid much attention to the pamphlet at first, assuming it was just something Ms. Pillsbury had given him on dealing with an ill relative, or maybe on teenage drinking, but when he accidentally moved the papers that were covering the bottom half, he paused. Suicide prevention? Why would she give Kurt something about that?
He frowned, picking it up and examining it for a long moment - he’d never really stopped to think about it before, but the statistics on the pages were startling. Thinking back to when Kurt had arrived late to Glee the previous day, he couldn’t help wondering if maybe he needed to be worried. He finally set the pamphlet back down and went back to looking for Kurt’s Spanish notes, but he couldn’t shake the concerned feeling that had washed over him.
-x-x-x-
Practise had gone smoothly enough - Sue had worked them as hard as ever, but she’d seemed genuinely satisfied with their performance when she finally dismissed them. Not that she’d actually told them she was pleased - but they knew it anyway.
After politely declining Brittany’s suggestion that he team up with herself, Santana and Quinn for the Glee assignment, Kurt parted ways with the girls and headed home, completely oblivious to Finn’s worries.
-x-x-x-
Upon voicing his concerns to Rachel during their date, Finn had decided that it was his duty to confront Kurt about the situation. His chance arose that night, just before they went to bed.
“Hey, Kurt?” he asked, a hint of hesitance in his voice. Kurt just glanced over at him, raising an eyebrow curiously and “hmm?”-ing softly. “Are you... I mean, uh,” he sighed, not really sure if he should just flat-out say it. But not knowing how else to ask, he settled on being blunt, “You’re not depressed or anything, are you?” He nervously looked over at his almost-brother, frowning a bit at the way Kurt had briefly frozen.
After collecting himself, Kurt gave a soft laugh and shook his head, “What? No way, Finn.” He gave the other teen a reassuring smile, and looked down at the magazine in his hands, “I think you’re putting a little too much thought into Mr. Schuester’s assignment.”
“Maybe,” Finn semi-agreed, looking Kurt over for another long moment before looking away, “It’s just Rachel said something about gay kids being a lot more likely to get depressed or... whatever, and I just wanted to make sure.” He frowned, adding, “Plus, you said you were talking with Ms. Pillsbury yesterday, and your eyes were kind red like you’d been crying...”
Kurt smiled a little sadly, and closed his copy of Vogue, setting it on his bedside table before he spoke up again, “That’s sweet of you, Finn.” He looked over at him, a truly grateful look in his eyes, and continued, “You don’t need to worry, though; yeah, things suck a lot of the time, but I’m okay.” Finn just nodded, looking relieved but not entirely convinced, and Kurt feigned a yawn. “I’m about ready to crash,” he commented, snuggling down into his bed and reaching up to turn off his lamp, “Goodnight, Finn.”
“G’night,” Finn said, his gaze still focused on Kurt for a long moment before he turned his own light off and rolled over onto his side, trying to fall asleep.
Rating: M for Mature
Pairing: Kurt-centric, Sam/Kurt friendship, possibly pre-slash or more
Summary: With LGBT teen suicide at the front of people's minds, Emma decides to have a talk with Kurt. Will assigns the gleeks to find songs about hope or hopelessness.
Disclaimer: I am not making any profit from this, nor do I claim ownership of the characters or basic plot outline. I'm simply borrowing from Glee & its writers for the sake of creativity. Cut lyrics from It Gets Better (Jay Kuo, Blair Shepard & Broadway Sings For The Trevor Project)
Warnings: deals with issues of depression, suicide abd bullying; mentions of self-harm; use of derogatory and homophobic words/phrases/attitudes
Click for other chapters
Author's Notes/Extended Disclaimer: I wanted to comment on the fact that I feel extremely guilty for drawing from the events that gave me the idea for this story - I would much rather this story never exist than have the reality of these suicides. I know that this isn't a topic to be taken lightly. It just seemed to be an issue that would have some effect on Kurt, if Glee were truly to be happening in "real-time", and once the idea wormed it's way into my head, I couldn't make it go away. In the event that someone personally connected to any of the recent deaths - or, honestly, anyone who's dealt with suicide in some way during their lives - stumbles across this story, I am so sorry; I don't mean any disrespect, harm or offense.
That being said, I'd also like to emphasize that suicide isn't the answer. Please find help if you're feeling like it is. Please. Believe me - you matter, as does your life.
Kurt found himself distracted the whole time he was in class, spending far too much time looking at his classmates and trying to decide who might honestly have confided in Ms. Pillsbury about being gay. He knew it wasn’t any of his business, but no one could really blame him for being curious - the idea of having someone he could relate to was really appealing. Maybe that wasn’t even what she’d meant - he could have misinterpreted. He didn’t really want to believe that, though.
Thanks to his distraction, the first half of the day had passed in a bit of a haze, and it wasn’t until the lunch bell rang and he walked out of his classroom that he really snapped out of it. Of course, this was only due to the fact that he was met with a face full of freezing cold slushy. Sighing, he made his way to the washroom and cleaned himself off as best he could before digging a change of clothes out of his bag. He changed, letting his damaged clothing set in cold water for a while in the hopes of preventing stains, before he finally made his way to his locker to drop off his books and get his lunch.
On the way to the cafeteria, he past the guidance office and paused for a second as he considered whether or not he should go apologize for how quickly he’d left the day before. But Ms. Pillsbury had always been supportive of the Glee club, so he was fairly certain that she’d understood and wasn’t upset with him. Besides, the Do-Not-Disturb sign was hanging from the doorknob, clearly meaning that she was already busy talking with someone else.
Curiously, he took a glance through the windows as he walked passed, continuing to the cafeteria; Sam Evans was sitting across from Ms. Pillsbury, looking more than a little upset - and that kind of freaked Kurt out a bit. Sam always seemed so collected and put together; it was unnerving to see him looking so bothered. He tried not to think about it, though, shaking it from his head as he joined Mercedes, Finn and Rachel at their usual lunch table. He sighed, muttering something about getting slushied when everyone asked him what had taken him so long.
The rest of the day was, thankfully, uneventful, and Kurt breathed a sigh of relief when classes ended and he met up with Quinn to walk to the gym. They were in for a long and gruelling practise, but he didn’t mind - he found that, although exhausted, he tended to feel a bit better after spending so much time moving around and dancing.
-x-x-x-
Kurt’s desk was off-limits, and Finn knew that, but he was desperate - Kurt wouldn’t be home from Cheerio practise for at least two more hours and he really needed to start on his Spanish paper so that he could go out with Rachel later. He just figured that, if he could find Kurt’s notes, he might be able to make a better start on the assignment. He hadn’t expected to find anything out of the ordinary - honestly, he hadn’t even paid much attention to the pamphlet at first, assuming it was just something Ms. Pillsbury had given him on dealing with an ill relative, or maybe on teenage drinking, but when he accidentally moved the papers that were covering the bottom half, he paused. Suicide prevention? Why would she give Kurt something about that?
He frowned, picking it up and examining it for a long moment - he’d never really stopped to think about it before, but the statistics on the pages were startling. Thinking back to when Kurt had arrived late to Glee the previous day, he couldn’t help wondering if maybe he needed to be worried. He finally set the pamphlet back down and went back to looking for Kurt’s Spanish notes, but he couldn’t shake the concerned feeling that had washed over him.
-x-x-x-
Practise had gone smoothly enough - Sue had worked them as hard as ever, but she’d seemed genuinely satisfied with their performance when she finally dismissed them. Not that she’d actually told them she was pleased - but they knew it anyway.
After politely declining Brittany’s suggestion that he team up with herself, Santana and Quinn for the Glee assignment, Kurt parted ways with the girls and headed home, completely oblivious to Finn’s worries.
-x-x-x-
Upon voicing his concerns to Rachel during their date, Finn had decided that it was his duty to confront Kurt about the situation. His chance arose that night, just before they went to bed.
“Hey, Kurt?” he asked, a hint of hesitance in his voice. Kurt just glanced over at him, raising an eyebrow curiously and “hmm?”-ing softly. “Are you... I mean, uh,” he sighed, not really sure if he should just flat-out say it. But not knowing how else to ask, he settled on being blunt, “You’re not depressed or anything, are you?” He nervously looked over at his almost-brother, frowning a bit at the way Kurt had briefly frozen.
After collecting himself, Kurt gave a soft laugh and shook his head, “What? No way, Finn.” He gave the other teen a reassuring smile, and looked down at the magazine in his hands, “I think you’re putting a little too much thought into Mr. Schuester’s assignment.”
“Maybe,” Finn semi-agreed, looking Kurt over for another long moment before looking away, “It’s just Rachel said something about gay kids being a lot more likely to get depressed or... whatever, and I just wanted to make sure.” He frowned, adding, “Plus, you said you were talking with Ms. Pillsbury yesterday, and your eyes were kind red like you’d been crying...”
Kurt smiled a little sadly, and closed his copy of Vogue, setting it on his bedside table before he spoke up again, “That’s sweet of you, Finn.” He looked over at him, a truly grateful look in his eyes, and continued, “You don’t need to worry, though; yeah, things suck a lot of the time, but I’m okay.” Finn just nodded, looking relieved but not entirely convinced, and Kurt feigned a yawn. “I’m about ready to crash,” he commented, snuggling down into his bed and reaching up to turn off his lamp, “Goodnight, Finn.”
“G’night,” Finn said, his gaze still focused on Kurt for a long moment before he turned his own light off and rolled over onto his side, trying to fall asleep.