Mistakes (3/4)
Title: Mistakes (3/4)
Author: wakingnitemarex / hatemetoday_xx
Pairing: Cookstro; Jason/OMC; Mavid
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Rape; probably swearing
Disclaimer: Best not be real. Or I might have to throw a fit.
Word Count: 4395
Summary: Jason's past is discovered, and David and Michael meet again.
Author's Notes: Dedicated to degreesofevil for so impatiently waiting for it. Love ya, hun. Hope you like it. First scene takes place around Niel Diamond week. Also, this chapter spans quite a few weeks, so it might seem kind of jumpy. Sorry. Also, it is SO. WEIRD. to write Jason as the protective one, and David as the needy one. Feedback is much loved. :]
"Hey, Jase?"
"Hm?", he replies, looking down at the old man who's head is resting on his shoulder.
"What happened?", David asks shyly, having finally worked up the courage to ask. It wasn't that he didn't expect Jason to answer him, just that he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know. Well, it wasn't quite that either, he does want to know, he just isn't sure he can handle knowing.
Jason sighs very softly, and closes his eyes. Honestly, he's surprised that it's taken David so long to ask. Jason had never actually told him what had happened, just that it had happened. "I was sixteen," he starts, and hears David gasp, "He was my best friend's father."
At this point, David pulls away, and moves to sit in front of his younger friend. He's glad that Jason's eyes are closed; just imagining the pain that must be reflected in them is more than enough.
"I.. I know it sounds ..weird, but it was.. normal.. for my friends, or their siblings, to fall for me. It happened a lot.. but one of their parents? I never ever expected that." He tilts his head back, resting it against the headboard, and opens his eyes. "I got an IM from Alex, well, I thought it was from Alex, turns out it was from his dad, asking me to come over. Naturally, I agreed. Alex had been really down that week. Just found out that his dad might be getting re stationed, and that they might have to move."
"He was in the military?", David asks quietly.
Jason nods, "Yeah. And he had the physique to match his position. And I was ..small. Smaller than I am now," he blinks a few times, not wanting to cry, "and weaker, too. But I.. I still fought against him.. As best as I could." He closes his eyes again, trying to hold back tears, but now all he can see is 'that day' playing before his eyes again. He supposes he should backtrack a bit, and so he does.
"Anyway.. I went over to his house, and his dad told me that Alex had run to the store for him, and that I could wait up in his room, so I did. I guess that was mistake number one. Or two, maybe. Going there in the first place was the first mistake. I was so stupid." His anger overpowers the sadness in his voice when he speaks the last sentence.
"You weren't stupid, Jason." David comments, "Most people would have done the same thing. You shouldn't have had reason to feel threatened."
Jason gives a small shrug, "Maybe." He pauses for a moment before continuing, "I went up to his room, turned on my diskman, and sat down to wait for him. A few minutes later, I thought I heard someone come in, so I took out my headphones and looked up, but it was just his dad. I think I asked him when Alex would be back, but he didn't answer me." He closes his eyes tighter. "Instead, he walked over to the bed, where I was sitting, and then I noticed that the door was closed, and that the atmosphere of the room was just really off, and then he just pushed me down, and for a second, I just froze, but then I pulled away, and I tried to run, but he grabbed me around my waist. I remember screaming, and he laughed, told me it was pointless. I kept struggling, bit him, kicked at him, but he was so damn strong." His last few phrases come out slightly choked.
David watches as the tears start to leak from Jason's closed eyes, and his breath catches in his throat. Sure, he's seen Jason cry, but he's never seen Jason cry for himself. He's cried for David, yes, lots of times, but never for himself. Not in front of David, at least.
"Then he basically ..ripped my clothes off, and threw me back onto the bed, and I didn't care that I was naked, because I tried to run again. But he caught me again, and practically threw me into a wall. And then he.. he started touching me.. and I screamed, begged him to stop, but he didn't. He let go of me.. for just a second..and then he was naked, too." Jason can hear the panic in his own voice, and he tries to control it, but it just gets worse as he continues, as do the tears that are now running freely from his now opened eyes.
Tears are falling from David's eyes, too, and he moves to sit between Jason's legs. He reaches up to wipe the younger boy's eyes, and Jason flinches away, the lines between reality and memory slightly crossed. "Sorry," David whispers softly.
"It's okay." His hand finds David's, and he intertwines their fingers.
"You don't have to finish.."
"N-no.. It.. It's time." He gives David a weak smile. "I just.. haven't explained it before."
"You've never told anyone?", David asks, shocked. He can't imagine how hard that must be. If he didn't have Jason to confide in right now.. he'd've gone crazy. Or worse.
"My brother knows. Not all of the details, but he knows. He just.. knew something was wrong.. and he made me tell him." He supposed he had admitted it to Michael Johns as well, but he knows better than to mention him right now.
"In five years ..you ..never told anyone but your brother? But.. but you knew who it was! Why didn't you tell? Why didn't you charge him?!"
"Too scared."
"You can still do it. People charge their abusers years later and win cases."
"There's no point. I can't prove it."
"You could still try.."
"I don't want my parents to find out," he finally admits. He casts his gaze downward. "It would break their hearts."
David carefully wipes at the tears that are still falling from Jason's eyes. He can't help but wonder if Jason cares about himself. Everything he does is for someone else's sake.. "What about your heart?", he whispers.
Jason just gives him a weak smile. "I've managed for five years. I'll manage for a while longer."
David frowns, his eyes sad, and he leans in, resting his forehead against Jason's. "You matter, too."
"I know. It's just easier this way." His eyelids flutter for a moment, before closing, and he sighs softly.
The two sit in silence for a long moment, before David quietly asks, "What happened, next?" He doesn't really mean to force Jason, but he knows from experience that talking about it helps, and after five years, it really is time to talk about it.
"Then he fucked me.. or well, he started too." David can't help but notice how detached Jason's tone has become, "I could barely stay standing.. he was so rough. He had to stop, and then he threw me down onto the bed. Finished what he started." He figures it would be best to stop there. Leave out the part where he'd been told that if he ever tried to report it to the authorities, his brother, Michael, would be the man's next victim. David didn't need to know that.
David can tell that there is something that Jason is holding back, and he wants to know, he honestly does, but judging by the look in Jason's eyes, it's not something he's willing to discuss.
Jason wipes at his eyes, upset with himself for having cried. He keeps his gaze down.
The two men are silent for a long moment, their hands still clasped together, resting at Jason's side. After a long moment, David sighs softly, and leans closer to Jason.
"We're kind of like puzzle pieces, y'know?"
A smile graces Jason's face for a split second. "Why's that?"
"Puzzle pieces are broken and carved around the edges in a way that makes them fit together perfectly. Like us." He glances up at Jason for a moment, and the look in the younger man's eyes softens.
Jason's arms slowly wrap around David, and he smiles softly. "Like us."
~*~
Jason sits down next David on the couch, and wraps his arm around him. The older man looks deep in thought, and though his body notices Jason's presence immediately, it's a moment before his mind catches up.
After a moment he looks over at Jason. "Hey.."
"What cha thinkin' about?"
David gives a weak shrug, "Nothing much."
"Alright.." Jason knows not to push him, he'll talk when he's ready, he always does.
The two are silent for a long moment, and David nestles in closer to Jason. Finally breaking the silence, he asks quietly, "Is it wrong that I miss him?"
Jason doesn't respond for a moment, but pulls away, turning to face David. "It's not.. wrong that you miss him," he starts, "He was your best friend after all. And it was so ..sudden. Of course you miss him." He places his hand lightly on David's knee, "You just have to remember that the time apart will be good for you, in the long run."
"It kind of wasn't him.. y'know?", David whispers, "He was drunk.."
Jason looks at the older man sadly. "David, we've been over this. That's not an excuse."
David nods, "I know. But it.. it helps. I can sort of ..separate him from it, if I think like that."
"If that's your way of coping, I won't stop you."
David forces a small smile, and reaches out to hug the smaller man. "You always sound so mature when we talk. I feel like I'm the kid, here."
"Neither of us are kids, David," he reminds softly, hugging him back. "Mature was never really your thing, anyway."
David chuckles softly. "Ain't that the truth."
~*~
David is sitting alone, working on a crossword while Jason records his Itunes single for that week, when Brooke comes over to him. She sits down casually on the other side of the sofa, and turns to look at him. She smiles softly, "Hey."
David looks up from his puzzle for a moment, and smiles, "Hey, back."
"So, what's our resident word nerd's opinion on today's cross word?", she asks lightly, and David smirks.
"A bit too easy, I'm afraid." He shows her the puzzle for a second, and she can see that he's nearly finished, even though he's barely been working on it for ten minutes.
Brooke shakes her head, laughing softly. "Well, that's no fun. We'll have to find you some harder puzzles."
"Good luck." He sets the puzzle and pen down on the coffee table, and shifts around to more comfortably look at Brooke. "Recording go well?"
"Great!", she responds, her eyes lighting up as she smiles. "You do your's later, right?" David only nods, and so she continues, "Good luck. Not like you need it, though."
David blushes softly, and looks down. "Thanks," he replies softly.
Brooke just smiles at him, always amazed by how humble and unsure of himself he is. "So," she asks after a moment, "Have you been speaking to Michael at all, lately?"
David tenses slightly at Michael's name, and he hopes Brooke didn't notice. "He's.. been too busy," David lies, as smoothly as he can, "He's been doing so much press, y'know.. between our two schedules, there's just really no time."
Brooke frowns slightly, "Oh.." She sighs, "I hope he's not pushing himself too hard."
"I'm sure he's fine."
"I hope so."
~*~
"You can't go!", David practically screams, and Jason sighs, wiping his hand over his face in frustration.
"I have to, David."
"You can't!", he repeats. "You're the only one who understands. I need you!"
Jason looks back up at him, watching him through sad eyes. "It's only for a week..", he starts quietly, but David cuts him off again.
"I don't care! A week is still a week!" He grabs Jason's suitcase off the bed and tosses it onto the floor, causing it's contents to spill out. "You can't leave me alone!"
"David, you know you won't be a--"
"IT'LL FEEL LIKE I AM!"
Jason's eyes widen slightly when David's voice raises even higher, and he falters back a step. In all honesty, he'd expected David to really blow up a long time ago, when he hadn't, Jason had assumed they'd just skipped that phase.
"You've known that this could be coming any week now.." he states, as calmly as possible, there may even be an undertone of fear in his voice.
"But it wasn't supposed to!" His voice drops a bit, his gaze falling to the ground, "You were supposed to go all the way to the end with me."
Jason steps tentatively towards David, who is now standing still in the middle of the room. David doesn't look up as Jason approaches, but he does subconsciously lean in closer to him, and Jason wraps his arms around David's shoulder's. "It's only for a week," he repeats softly, resting his forehead against David's.
"I know," David whispers back, closing his eyes. "I'm just scared. I haven't been alone since.. since then. I haven't slept alone since then." He tilts his face up to look at Jason, and there are tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "What if the nightmares come back?"
Jason winces slightly. Right. He'd almost forgotten that David had had nightmares for the first week or so following what had happened, and he doesn't have the heart to tell him that the nightmares never completely stop. He just holds David tighter. "My phone is always on."
~*~
The Top 12 are all gathered in the redroom, being briefed by the producers on how that evening's show would go. The two Davids, and Syesha had been the last to arrive, as they'd been doing a last minute run through of the Top 3 group performance. David's gaze lingers for a moment on Michael when he first entered the room, before he quickly looks away, taking a deep breath.
Michael looks up at him, and smiles. God, he's missed him. He sighs softly when David looks away again, but he's okay with it. He's had time away, and he's been able to clear his head a bit, let the reality of the situation hit him, and he's willing to let David adjust at his own pace.
You can do this, David reminds himself, You're the one who's missed him. But he goes as sits down next to Jason, anyway. "Missed you," he whispers and Jason smiles softly.
"Told you you'd survive." He puts his arm around the older man's shoulders, hugging him, "And I missed you, too."
One of the producers coughs, giving Jason a pointed look, and the two men stop talking, returning their attention to the others.
"Okay, now that everyone's here, we can finally get this done. After the results are announced, and the third place contestant sings them self out, I was the rest of the Top 12 to come up on stage. Cameras will be done rolling at the point, but there's still a crowd to please."
The Idols nod, and murmur their understanding. They've already been told where they'll be seated, and so they know that getting on stage won't be a problem.
"And speaking of crowds to please, Johns, Cook", Michael and David look back over at the speaker, they all know he means David, and not Kristy, "I want a chest bump once Mike's on stage. The fans seem to like those. Got it?"
Michael leans back casually in his seat, and nods, "Works for me." He flashes a quick smile over to David, who looks away.
"David?"
People are looking at him expectantly, and so he nods. "Got it." Jason's arm tightens around him for a moment, in an almost hug.
The producers finish running over last minute things, and give them a basic outline of how rehearsals are gonna go for the finale, and then leave them be, reminding the three finalists that they need to head over to makeup and wardrobe in about 20 minutes.
Once the Idols have been left to their own devices, the rest of the Top 12 are able to appropriately greet the Top 3, having already been able to catch up with the others. Carly is the first to plow David over with a hug, while Brooke and Ramiele go over to greet Archie, and Kristy Lee goes over to chatter excitedly with Syesha.
Once Carly finally releases David and moves on to join Kristy and Syesha, David H comes over to pat him on the back. "Dude. You know that you're seriously the front runner in this, right?"
David just shakes his head, blushing. "Nah," he nods towards Archie, "He's got this in the bag."
"I wouldn't be too sure. You've picked up a pretty insane following."
David just shrugs, still blushing. "Thanks."
The other David just nods, before going over to rendezvous with the girls and Archie.
Michael steps closer, and he and David just look at each other for a long moment, a wave of memory passing between them, before Michael pulls the younger man into a hug. David's body tenses, but he makes no attempts to pull away, and so both men count it as a small victory.
When Michael finally releases David, the younger man's hand finds Jason's immediately, silently telling Jason that it's okay.
"So, uh, how have you been?" Michael asks, rubbing the back of his neck absentmindedly.
David contemplates his answer for a moment, before finally responding with an "As well as can be expected."
Michael accepts his answer with a nod, and tries to smile. "I missed you.."
David is silent again for a moment, his body subconsciously moving closer to Jason's, leaning back against him for moral support. He feels Jason's arms slip around his waist, and closes his eyes for a moment, before looking back at Michael, not in his eyes, though, he can't look him in the eyes just yet. "I missed you, too", he admits quietly.
David's response brings a smile to Michael's lips, he can hear the honesty and vulnerability in the younger man's voice when he speaks. He doesn't need to ask David if he really means that, he knows that he does.
"So..", David starts, somewhat nervously, "How's life after Idol?"
"Hectic", he replies simply, before elaborating, "There's so much press to do. I think I got more sleep when I was still on the show."
"Well, at least you don't have time to get bored," David replies, trying to keep the conversation light, but he knows there's still something slightly off in his voice. He's glad that he only has to stay for a few more minutes, even if it does mean that he has to leave Jason, too.
"I guess that's one way to look at it."
David nods, letting his gaze drift away.
After a moment Michael nods, then reaches out, ruffling the younger man's hair, David flinches only slightly. "Good luck tonight, kid," he tells him before walking over to strike up a conversation with Carly.
David smiles, relieved that Michael is really trying to be cool about this. The time apart must've helped the Aussie clear his head a bit. He turns around to face Jason, and gives him a half smile, which Jason returns. "He's trying.."
Jason nods, a bit unwillingly, and sighs. "I know."
David remains in Jason's arms for a long moment before Syesha and the other David remind him that they have to head out.
After David's gone, Michael starts to walk over to Jason, but Brooke intercepts him casually. "Stacey's not here tonight?", she asks, frowning slightly. She'd become good friends with Michael's wife during Michael's stay in the competition.
Michael shrugs, "Other plans."
"Ah." Brooke nods towards the door that David, David, and Syesha had just left through, "I expected you two to be a lot more excited to see each other."
Michael shifts his weight a little, and glances away before looking back at her. "Guess we've just talked on the phone so much that he almost didn't notice I was gone.."
Brooke blinks at him for a moment, cocking her head to the side. "He told me you were both too busy to talk."
Michael is silent for a moment, trying to work around this, before finally saying, "Well, for the first few weeks that's how it was. My schedule finally started to slow up a bit."
Brooke just nods, though she's not entirely sure she believes him. She isn't sure why David or Michael would have any reason to lie, though, so she finds herself a bit confused. "Oh. Alright, then." She forces a smile, "Well, tell Stace I said hi, okay?"
"Sure thing, Brooke." Michael nods at her, then turns away, searching Jason out. "Can we talk?", he asks when he finally catches up to Jason who'd just ducked out of the room.
"No."
Michael follows as Jason keeps walking. "Please, Jason?"
"No," he repeats, not stopping.
"Will you at least listen, then?" Jason doesn't respond, so Michael continues, "I'm sorry. David seems to realize that, so why can't you?" He frowns, "I didn't even do anything to you," he realizes as soon as the words left his mouth that it was a lie, and he sighs. "Okay, so I hit you. And damnit, I'm sorry I did that. I didn't mean to." Jason makes no sign that he'd heard the older man speaking, and Michael groans in frustration. "Look, what I.. what I did to David was a hell of a lot worse than when I hit you, and he seems to be getting over it pretty damn well, so why can't you?", he demands, catching Jason by the arm, and standing his ground, forcing the smaller boy to stop. Jason attempts to pull free, but Michael just tightens his grip, watching as Jason winces from the too-tight hold. "Why do you hate me so much?"
Jason turns on him then, his blue eyes flashing like steel. "Because somebody has too, and it sure as fuck isn't going to be David." He doesn't yell, but the tone of his voice is more electric than yelling could ever be.
Michael's eyes widen, and he stares at the younger man standing before him. He tightens his grip slightly, and frowns. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that somebody has to hate you for what you did. Somebody has to acknowledge it. Somebody has to be there to make you remember what happened." He locks his gaze with Michael's, his eyes full of hate, but if Michael were to look deep enough, he'd be able to see the terrified boy behind the fury. "We both know it's not gonna be David, and we both know, don't even lie, that it's not gonna be yourself, so that leaves me. Now get your fucking hand off of me, and walk away."
Michael listens to him, stunned by Jason's reasoning as he understands just how logical it is. He slowly releases his hold on Jason's arm, and watches as he pulls it back to his side, his other hand moving up to gently massage where Michael's hand had been. Michael opens his mouth to say something else, but closes it again, turning on his heal, and walking back in the other direction.
~*~
"..America has decided that the two people going head to head in our finale, next week, are David Archuleta.."
David nods, applauding for his younger namesake, and wraps his arm around him after Syesha congratulates him. He points to the younger boy as if to say 'he's the real deal, here', then let's go, wrapping his arm around Syesha's shoulders now, holding her close.
"And going up against David Archuleta is.."
David feels his breath catch in his throat as Ryan pauses.
"David Cook."
David pulls Syesha closer, hugging her. He'd expected to make it through, so he's not really surprised. He joins in on the applause, nodding slightly at Ryan when the host offers his congratulations. He only vaguely remembers the rest of the evening, walking with the younger David to the side of the stage while Syesha gives her final performance, returning to the stage to hug Syesha again, and then the rest of the Top 12 is there, and he's chest bumping with Michael, driving the fans wild, and the others are congratulating him on making the finale, wishing him and the younger David good luck, and then it's moved backstage and the first thing he does is seek out Jason, clinging to him and smiling brightly, whispering that it 'really might happen!', while Jason holds him closer and tells him that it will happen.
He thinks he may even have hugged Michael once, completely on his own will. As much as he thinks it should, that possibility doesn't bother him. Not right then, anyway, not when he's too busy realizing that some of his biggest dreams could very possibly come true in a week's time.
Up next;
Cookstro Collective Fic Chap. 5(?) - won't be posted here - Starting this, like, now. Sorry for the wait.
Theo/Earl fic for mariesg16
Messe; Dreo; Earl/Kat; 1-sided Amberly/Jesse fic
ci6_slash gift exchange fic! My lips are sealed on the pairing/prompts. <3
More of Someday
More of Mistakes
Various CI6 fics
The Simon/Jason fic needs to happen soon. >.o; Sorry it's been taking so long! :O
Also, I found a cohnstro fic that was inspired by a convo I had with Nikki that I completely forgot I was writing! If I can remember where I was going with it, I will try to finish it off, too. :]
-kittyyy
..
*HEADDESK*
You know you've watched too much Canadian Idol when you write 'Ben' instead of 'Ryan'.
Go me.
Author: wakingnitemarex / hatemetoday_xx
Pairing: Cookstro; Jason/OMC; Mavid
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Rape; probably swearing
Disclaimer: Best not be real. Or I might have to throw a fit.
Word Count: 4395
Summary: Jason's past is discovered, and David and Michael meet again.
Author's Notes: Dedicated to degreesofevil for so impatiently waiting for it. Love ya, hun. Hope you like it. First scene takes place around Niel Diamond week. Also, this chapter spans quite a few weeks, so it might seem kind of jumpy. Sorry. Also, it is SO. WEIRD. to write Jason as the protective one, and David as the needy one. Feedback is much loved. :]
"Hey, Jase?"
"Hm?", he replies, looking down at the old man who's head is resting on his shoulder.
"What happened?", David asks shyly, having finally worked up the courage to ask. It wasn't that he didn't expect Jason to answer him, just that he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know. Well, it wasn't quite that either, he does want to know, he just isn't sure he can handle knowing.
Jason sighs very softly, and closes his eyes. Honestly, he's surprised that it's taken David so long to ask. Jason had never actually told him what had happened, just that it had happened. "I was sixteen," he starts, and hears David gasp, "He was my best friend's father."
At this point, David pulls away, and moves to sit in front of his younger friend. He's glad that Jason's eyes are closed; just imagining the pain that must be reflected in them is more than enough.
"I.. I know it sounds ..weird, but it was.. normal.. for my friends, or their siblings, to fall for me. It happened a lot.. but one of their parents? I never ever expected that." He tilts his head back, resting it against the headboard, and opens his eyes. "I got an IM from Alex, well, I thought it was from Alex, turns out it was from his dad, asking me to come over. Naturally, I agreed. Alex had been really down that week. Just found out that his dad might be getting re stationed, and that they might have to move."
"He was in the military?", David asks quietly.
Jason nods, "Yeah. And he had the physique to match his position. And I was ..small. Smaller than I am now," he blinks a few times, not wanting to cry, "and weaker, too. But I.. I still fought against him.. As best as I could." He closes his eyes again, trying to hold back tears, but now all he can see is 'that day' playing before his eyes again. He supposes he should backtrack a bit, and so he does.
"Anyway.. I went over to his house, and his dad told me that Alex had run to the store for him, and that I could wait up in his room, so I did. I guess that was mistake number one. Or two, maybe. Going there in the first place was the first mistake. I was so stupid." His anger overpowers the sadness in his voice when he speaks the last sentence.
"You weren't stupid, Jason." David comments, "Most people would have done the same thing. You shouldn't have had reason to feel threatened."
Jason gives a small shrug, "Maybe." He pauses for a moment before continuing, "I went up to his room, turned on my diskman, and sat down to wait for him. A few minutes later, I thought I heard someone come in, so I took out my headphones and looked up, but it was just his dad. I think I asked him when Alex would be back, but he didn't answer me." He closes his eyes tighter. "Instead, he walked over to the bed, where I was sitting, and then I noticed that the door was closed, and that the atmosphere of the room was just really off, and then he just pushed me down, and for a second, I just froze, but then I pulled away, and I tried to run, but he grabbed me around my waist. I remember screaming, and he laughed, told me it was pointless. I kept struggling, bit him, kicked at him, but he was so damn strong." His last few phrases come out slightly choked.
David watches as the tears start to leak from Jason's closed eyes, and his breath catches in his throat. Sure, he's seen Jason cry, but he's never seen Jason cry for himself. He's cried for David, yes, lots of times, but never for himself. Not in front of David, at least.
"Then he basically ..ripped my clothes off, and threw me back onto the bed, and I didn't care that I was naked, because I tried to run again. But he caught me again, and practically threw me into a wall. And then he.. he started touching me.. and I screamed, begged him to stop, but he didn't. He let go of me.. for just a second..and then he was naked, too." Jason can hear the panic in his own voice, and he tries to control it, but it just gets worse as he continues, as do the tears that are now running freely from his now opened eyes.
Tears are falling from David's eyes, too, and he moves to sit between Jason's legs. He reaches up to wipe the younger boy's eyes, and Jason flinches away, the lines between reality and memory slightly crossed. "Sorry," David whispers softly.
"It's okay." His hand finds David's, and he intertwines their fingers.
"You don't have to finish.."
"N-no.. It.. It's time." He gives David a weak smile. "I just.. haven't explained it before."
"You've never told anyone?", David asks, shocked. He can't imagine how hard that must be. If he didn't have Jason to confide in right now.. he'd've gone crazy. Or worse.
"My brother knows. Not all of the details, but he knows. He just.. knew something was wrong.. and he made me tell him." He supposed he had admitted it to Michael Johns as well, but he knows better than to mention him right now.
"In five years ..you ..never told anyone but your brother? But.. but you knew who it was! Why didn't you tell? Why didn't you charge him?!"
"Too scared."
"You can still do it. People charge their abusers years later and win cases."
"There's no point. I can't prove it."
"You could still try.."
"I don't want my parents to find out," he finally admits. He casts his gaze downward. "It would break their hearts."
David carefully wipes at the tears that are still falling from Jason's eyes. He can't help but wonder if Jason cares about himself. Everything he does is for someone else's sake.. "What about your heart?", he whispers.
Jason just gives him a weak smile. "I've managed for five years. I'll manage for a while longer."
David frowns, his eyes sad, and he leans in, resting his forehead against Jason's. "You matter, too."
"I know. It's just easier this way." His eyelids flutter for a moment, before closing, and he sighs softly.
The two sit in silence for a long moment, before David quietly asks, "What happened, next?" He doesn't really mean to force Jason, but he knows from experience that talking about it helps, and after five years, it really is time to talk about it.
"Then he fucked me.. or well, he started too." David can't help but notice how detached Jason's tone has become, "I could barely stay standing.. he was so rough. He had to stop, and then he threw me down onto the bed. Finished what he started." He figures it would be best to stop there. Leave out the part where he'd been told that if he ever tried to report it to the authorities, his brother, Michael, would be the man's next victim. David didn't need to know that.
David can tell that there is something that Jason is holding back, and he wants to know, he honestly does, but judging by the look in Jason's eyes, it's not something he's willing to discuss.
Jason wipes at his eyes, upset with himself for having cried. He keeps his gaze down.
The two men are silent for a long moment, their hands still clasped together, resting at Jason's side. After a long moment, David sighs softly, and leans closer to Jason.
"We're kind of like puzzle pieces, y'know?"
A smile graces Jason's face for a split second. "Why's that?"
"Puzzle pieces are broken and carved around the edges in a way that makes them fit together perfectly. Like us." He glances up at Jason for a moment, and the look in the younger man's eyes softens.
Jason's arms slowly wrap around David, and he smiles softly. "Like us."
~*~
Jason sits down next David on the couch, and wraps his arm around him. The older man looks deep in thought, and though his body notices Jason's presence immediately, it's a moment before his mind catches up.
After a moment he looks over at Jason. "Hey.."
"What cha thinkin' about?"
David gives a weak shrug, "Nothing much."
"Alright.." Jason knows not to push him, he'll talk when he's ready, he always does.
The two are silent for a long moment, and David nestles in closer to Jason. Finally breaking the silence, he asks quietly, "Is it wrong that I miss him?"
Jason doesn't respond for a moment, but pulls away, turning to face David. "It's not.. wrong that you miss him," he starts, "He was your best friend after all. And it was so ..sudden. Of course you miss him." He places his hand lightly on David's knee, "You just have to remember that the time apart will be good for you, in the long run."
"It kind of wasn't him.. y'know?", David whispers, "He was drunk.."
Jason looks at the older man sadly. "David, we've been over this. That's not an excuse."
David nods, "I know. But it.. it helps. I can sort of ..separate him from it, if I think like that."
"If that's your way of coping, I won't stop you."
David forces a small smile, and reaches out to hug the smaller man. "You always sound so mature when we talk. I feel like I'm the kid, here."
"Neither of us are kids, David," he reminds softly, hugging him back. "Mature was never really your thing, anyway."
David chuckles softly. "Ain't that the truth."
~*~
David is sitting alone, working on a crossword while Jason records his Itunes single for that week, when Brooke comes over to him. She sits down casually on the other side of the sofa, and turns to look at him. She smiles softly, "Hey."
David looks up from his puzzle for a moment, and smiles, "Hey, back."
"So, what's our resident word nerd's opinion on today's cross word?", she asks lightly, and David smirks.
"A bit too easy, I'm afraid." He shows her the puzzle for a second, and she can see that he's nearly finished, even though he's barely been working on it for ten minutes.
Brooke shakes her head, laughing softly. "Well, that's no fun. We'll have to find you some harder puzzles."
"Good luck." He sets the puzzle and pen down on the coffee table, and shifts around to more comfortably look at Brooke. "Recording go well?"
"Great!", she responds, her eyes lighting up as she smiles. "You do your's later, right?" David only nods, and so she continues, "Good luck. Not like you need it, though."
David blushes softly, and looks down. "Thanks," he replies softly.
Brooke just smiles at him, always amazed by how humble and unsure of himself he is. "So," she asks after a moment, "Have you been speaking to Michael at all, lately?"
David tenses slightly at Michael's name, and he hopes Brooke didn't notice. "He's.. been too busy," David lies, as smoothly as he can, "He's been doing so much press, y'know.. between our two schedules, there's just really no time."
Brooke frowns slightly, "Oh.." She sighs, "I hope he's not pushing himself too hard."
"I'm sure he's fine."
"I hope so."
~*~
"You can't go!", David practically screams, and Jason sighs, wiping his hand over his face in frustration.
"I have to, David."
"You can't!", he repeats. "You're the only one who understands. I need you!"
Jason looks back up at him, watching him through sad eyes. "It's only for a week..", he starts quietly, but David cuts him off again.
"I don't care! A week is still a week!" He grabs Jason's suitcase off the bed and tosses it onto the floor, causing it's contents to spill out. "You can't leave me alone!"
"David, you know you won't be a--"
"IT'LL FEEL LIKE I AM!"
Jason's eyes widen slightly when David's voice raises even higher, and he falters back a step. In all honesty, he'd expected David to really blow up a long time ago, when he hadn't, Jason had assumed they'd just skipped that phase.
"You've known that this could be coming any week now.." he states, as calmly as possible, there may even be an undertone of fear in his voice.
"But it wasn't supposed to!" His voice drops a bit, his gaze falling to the ground, "You were supposed to go all the way to the end with me."
Jason steps tentatively towards David, who is now standing still in the middle of the room. David doesn't look up as Jason approaches, but he does subconsciously lean in closer to him, and Jason wraps his arms around David's shoulder's. "It's only for a week," he repeats softly, resting his forehead against David's.
"I know," David whispers back, closing his eyes. "I'm just scared. I haven't been alone since.. since then. I haven't slept alone since then." He tilts his face up to look at Jason, and there are tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "What if the nightmares come back?"
Jason winces slightly. Right. He'd almost forgotten that David had had nightmares for the first week or so following what had happened, and he doesn't have the heart to tell him that the nightmares never completely stop. He just holds David tighter. "My phone is always on."
~*~
The Top 12 are all gathered in the redroom, being briefed by the producers on how that evening's show would go. The two Davids, and Syesha had been the last to arrive, as they'd been doing a last minute run through of the Top 3 group performance. David's gaze lingers for a moment on Michael when he first entered the room, before he quickly looks away, taking a deep breath.
Michael looks up at him, and smiles. God, he's missed him. He sighs softly when David looks away again, but he's okay with it. He's had time away, and he's been able to clear his head a bit, let the reality of the situation hit him, and he's willing to let David adjust at his own pace.
You can do this, David reminds himself, You're the one who's missed him. But he goes as sits down next to Jason, anyway. "Missed you," he whispers and Jason smiles softly.
"Told you you'd survive." He puts his arm around the older man's shoulders, hugging him, "And I missed you, too."
One of the producers coughs, giving Jason a pointed look, and the two men stop talking, returning their attention to the others.
"Okay, now that everyone's here, we can finally get this done. After the results are announced, and the third place contestant sings them self out, I was the rest of the Top 12 to come up on stage. Cameras will be done rolling at the point, but there's still a crowd to please."
The Idols nod, and murmur their understanding. They've already been told where they'll be seated, and so they know that getting on stage won't be a problem.
"And speaking of crowds to please, Johns, Cook", Michael and David look back over at the speaker, they all know he means David, and not Kristy, "I want a chest bump once Mike's on stage. The fans seem to like those. Got it?"
Michael leans back casually in his seat, and nods, "Works for me." He flashes a quick smile over to David, who looks away.
"David?"
People are looking at him expectantly, and so he nods. "Got it." Jason's arm tightens around him for a moment, in an almost hug.
The producers finish running over last minute things, and give them a basic outline of how rehearsals are gonna go for the finale, and then leave them be, reminding the three finalists that they need to head over to makeup and wardrobe in about 20 minutes.
Once the Idols have been left to their own devices, the rest of the Top 12 are able to appropriately greet the Top 3, having already been able to catch up with the others. Carly is the first to plow David over with a hug, while Brooke and Ramiele go over to greet Archie, and Kristy Lee goes over to chatter excitedly with Syesha.
Once Carly finally releases David and moves on to join Kristy and Syesha, David H comes over to pat him on the back. "Dude. You know that you're seriously the front runner in this, right?"
David just shakes his head, blushing. "Nah," he nods towards Archie, "He's got this in the bag."
"I wouldn't be too sure. You've picked up a pretty insane following."
David just shrugs, still blushing. "Thanks."
The other David just nods, before going over to rendezvous with the girls and Archie.
Michael steps closer, and he and David just look at each other for a long moment, a wave of memory passing between them, before Michael pulls the younger man into a hug. David's body tenses, but he makes no attempts to pull away, and so both men count it as a small victory.
When Michael finally releases David, the younger man's hand finds Jason's immediately, silently telling Jason that it's okay.
"So, uh, how have you been?" Michael asks, rubbing the back of his neck absentmindedly.
David contemplates his answer for a moment, before finally responding with an "As well as can be expected."
Michael accepts his answer with a nod, and tries to smile. "I missed you.."
David is silent again for a moment, his body subconsciously moving closer to Jason's, leaning back against him for moral support. He feels Jason's arms slip around his waist, and closes his eyes for a moment, before looking back at Michael, not in his eyes, though, he can't look him in the eyes just yet. "I missed you, too", he admits quietly.
David's response brings a smile to Michael's lips, he can hear the honesty and vulnerability in the younger man's voice when he speaks. He doesn't need to ask David if he really means that, he knows that he does.
"So..", David starts, somewhat nervously, "How's life after Idol?"
"Hectic", he replies simply, before elaborating, "There's so much press to do. I think I got more sleep when I was still on the show."
"Well, at least you don't have time to get bored," David replies, trying to keep the conversation light, but he knows there's still something slightly off in his voice. He's glad that he only has to stay for a few more minutes, even if it does mean that he has to leave Jason, too.
"I guess that's one way to look at it."
David nods, letting his gaze drift away.
After a moment Michael nods, then reaches out, ruffling the younger man's hair, David flinches only slightly. "Good luck tonight, kid," he tells him before walking over to strike up a conversation with Carly.
David smiles, relieved that Michael is really trying to be cool about this. The time apart must've helped the Aussie clear his head a bit. He turns around to face Jason, and gives him a half smile, which Jason returns. "He's trying.."
Jason nods, a bit unwillingly, and sighs. "I know."
David remains in Jason's arms for a long moment before Syesha and the other David remind him that they have to head out.
After David's gone, Michael starts to walk over to Jason, but Brooke intercepts him casually. "Stacey's not here tonight?", she asks, frowning slightly. She'd become good friends with Michael's wife during Michael's stay in the competition.
Michael shrugs, "Other plans."
"Ah." Brooke nods towards the door that David, David, and Syesha had just left through, "I expected you two to be a lot more excited to see each other."
Michael shifts his weight a little, and glances away before looking back at her. "Guess we've just talked on the phone so much that he almost didn't notice I was gone.."
Brooke blinks at him for a moment, cocking her head to the side. "He told me you were both too busy to talk."
Michael is silent for a moment, trying to work around this, before finally saying, "Well, for the first few weeks that's how it was. My schedule finally started to slow up a bit."
Brooke just nods, though she's not entirely sure she believes him. She isn't sure why David or Michael would have any reason to lie, though, so she finds herself a bit confused. "Oh. Alright, then." She forces a smile, "Well, tell Stace I said hi, okay?"
"Sure thing, Brooke." Michael nods at her, then turns away, searching Jason out. "Can we talk?", he asks when he finally catches up to Jason who'd just ducked out of the room.
"No."
Michael follows as Jason keeps walking. "Please, Jason?"
"No," he repeats, not stopping.
"Will you at least listen, then?" Jason doesn't respond, so Michael continues, "I'm sorry. David seems to realize that, so why can't you?" He frowns, "I didn't even do anything to you," he realizes as soon as the words left his mouth that it was a lie, and he sighs. "Okay, so I hit you. And damnit, I'm sorry I did that. I didn't mean to." Jason makes no sign that he'd heard the older man speaking, and Michael groans in frustration. "Look, what I.. what I did to David was a hell of a lot worse than when I hit you, and he seems to be getting over it pretty damn well, so why can't you?", he demands, catching Jason by the arm, and standing his ground, forcing the smaller boy to stop. Jason attempts to pull free, but Michael just tightens his grip, watching as Jason winces from the too-tight hold. "Why do you hate me so much?"
Jason turns on him then, his blue eyes flashing like steel. "Because somebody has too, and it sure as fuck isn't going to be David." He doesn't yell, but the tone of his voice is more electric than yelling could ever be.
Michael's eyes widen, and he stares at the younger man standing before him. He tightens his grip slightly, and frowns. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that somebody has to hate you for what you did. Somebody has to acknowledge it. Somebody has to be there to make you remember what happened." He locks his gaze with Michael's, his eyes full of hate, but if Michael were to look deep enough, he'd be able to see the terrified boy behind the fury. "We both know it's not gonna be David, and we both know, don't even lie, that it's not gonna be yourself, so that leaves me. Now get your fucking hand off of me, and walk away."
Michael listens to him, stunned by Jason's reasoning as he understands just how logical it is. He slowly releases his hold on Jason's arm, and watches as he pulls it back to his side, his other hand moving up to gently massage where Michael's hand had been. Michael opens his mouth to say something else, but closes it again, turning on his heal, and walking back in the other direction.
~*~
"..America has decided that the two people going head to head in our finale, next week, are David Archuleta.."
David nods, applauding for his younger namesake, and wraps his arm around him after Syesha congratulates him. He points to the younger boy as if to say 'he's the real deal, here', then let's go, wrapping his arm around Syesha's shoulders now, holding her close.
"And going up against David Archuleta is.."
David feels his breath catch in his throat as Ryan pauses.
"David Cook."
David pulls Syesha closer, hugging her. He'd expected to make it through, so he's not really surprised. He joins in on the applause, nodding slightly at Ryan when the host offers his congratulations. He only vaguely remembers the rest of the evening, walking with the younger David to the side of the stage while Syesha gives her final performance, returning to the stage to hug Syesha again, and then the rest of the Top 12 is there, and he's chest bumping with Michael, driving the fans wild, and the others are congratulating him on making the finale, wishing him and the younger David good luck, and then it's moved backstage and the first thing he does is seek out Jason, clinging to him and smiling brightly, whispering that it 'really might happen!', while Jason holds him closer and tells him that it will happen.
He thinks he may even have hugged Michael once, completely on his own will. As much as he thinks it should, that possibility doesn't bother him. Not right then, anyway, not when he's too busy realizing that some of his biggest dreams could very possibly come true in a week's time.
Up next;
Cookstro Collective Fic Chap. 5(?) - won't be posted here - Starting this, like, now. Sorry for the wait.
Theo/Earl fic for mariesg16
Messe; Dreo; Earl/Kat; 1-sided Amberly/Jesse fic
ci6_slash gift exchange fic! My lips are sealed on the pairing/prompts. <3
More of Someday
More of Mistakes
Various CI6 fics
The Simon/Jason fic needs to happen soon. >.o; Sorry it's been taking so long! :O
Also, I found a cohnstro fic that was inspired by a convo I had with Nikki that I completely forgot I was writing! If I can remember where I was going with it, I will try to finish it off, too. :]
-kittyyy
..
*HEADDESK*
You know you've watched too much Canadian Idol when you write 'Ben' instead of 'Ryan'.
Go me.