Thoughts that should deminish!
I'll admit, I have never fully accepted the death of one of my best friends. Richard. While I understand why , I never forgave him for it. I never usually spend too much time thinking about it because when it comes to that topic I behave like a cypher and hide away all emotions. I will always remember him but I am the type of person that hates dwelling on the past for too long. Richard, good or bad, will always be in my thoughts. Which brings me to why I suddenly have the urge to write about him. It's her again. She does this often ya know and for some reason it bugs the fucking shit out of me!
I was happily going about my own business chatting to my good friend Amy - ha I mentioned you in here! When I suddenly get this message asking me what Richards favourite movies was? I took it in and thought... I actually didn't know what it was, I told her so and she replied '' I thought you would have known''. The cheek! This coming from someone who even if something reminds her of him she texts me, e-mails me or the likes telling me how she misses him. I listen, I let her cry it out but yet she keeps asking me all these random things about him. Bringing up memories which are nice but I just get so frustrated with her. The countless times I helped her through the rough when she missed him. And not once did she ever ask me how I felt. Not once! She always says how she'll always miss him. She knew him for like four or so months. Yet I knew him for 8 years, and she still doesn't consider my feelings! I guess I'm coming off bitter. I know that, but I can't help it!
It's funny, if she were to always ask me how I felt I'd probably react in the same way only this time say how she never stops asking me. I'm weird that way. Yet there it is again, when I think I'm cool with her, she'll bring him up and all that pent up rage towards him rises and I take it out on her!
Richard was just as weird as me, weirder in fact. I will always keep those fun times close but given the circumstances that he ''left'' in I cannot help but feel this anger for him. I wish these feelings didn't exsist!
Until next time.
- Mark.
I was happily going about my own business chatting to my good friend Amy - ha I mentioned you in here! When I suddenly get this message asking me what Richards favourite movies was? I took it in and thought... I actually didn't know what it was, I told her so and she replied '' I thought you would have known''. The cheek! This coming from someone who even if something reminds her of him she texts me, e-mails me or the likes telling me how she misses him. I listen, I let her cry it out but yet she keeps asking me all these random things about him. Bringing up memories which are nice but I just get so frustrated with her. The countless times I helped her through the rough when she missed him. And not once did she ever ask me how I felt. Not once! She always says how she'll always miss him. She knew him for like four or so months. Yet I knew him for 8 years, and she still doesn't consider my feelings! I guess I'm coming off bitter. I know that, but I can't help it!
It's funny, if she were to always ask me how I felt I'd probably react in the same way only this time say how she never stops asking me. I'm weird that way. Yet there it is again, when I think I'm cool with her, she'll bring him up and all that pent up rage towards him rises and I take it out on her!
Richard was just as weird as me, weirder in fact. I will always keep those fun times close but given the circumstances that he ''left'' in I cannot help but feel this anger for him. I wish these feelings didn't exsist!
Until next time.
- Mark.