(no subject)
so im at joannes in the rivs being bored...
i wrote in my last entry about how i am trying to get over nick...or how i am over him or whatever..but it is so hard...i dont wanna be over him i am trying so hard to be though....i figure its what i need to do so i am pushing all my feelings for him out of myself...that way i figure i wont hurt...but i think it hurts more to do that to myself ya know. i dunno what to do or feel. i messed up and there is no turning back...i figure totally denying the fact that i am still completely in love with him will make it hurt less.i cant tell him how i feel because it frustrates him..i dont know why i am even writing this cuz i know hes gonna read it...i just need to get it all out..i dunno..i wish i could be with him again but i know that it will never happen...things would be different i know....but that doesnt fix the past mistakes...tomorrow makes a whole month that we've been apart...it makes me sad really..but i can deal with it..he is still my friend....
i wrote in my last entry about how i am trying to get over nick...or how i am over him or whatever..but it is so hard...i dont wanna be over him i am trying so hard to be though....i figure its what i need to do so i am pushing all my feelings for him out of myself...that way i figure i wont hurt...but i think it hurts more to do that to myself ya know. i dunno what to do or feel. i messed up and there is no turning back...i figure totally denying the fact that i am still completely in love with him will make it hurt less.i cant tell him how i feel because it frustrates him..i dont know why i am even writing this cuz i know hes gonna read it...i just need to get it all out..i dunno..i wish i could be with him again but i know that it will never happen...things would be different i know....but that doesnt fix the past mistakes...tomorrow makes a whole month that we've been apart...it makes me sad really..but i can deal with it..he is still my friend....