Painful Wedding Preparations and I always have them
I think my parents are people who do not own up with what they had said. Never.
And that makes me terrribly upset. Very.
I am not like them. That really conflicts with the values that I have and It's really hurting.
Like what JJ always mentioned, I am always the one who gets hurt and end up in tears.
I am , right now.
(Thanks for all the comforting words.. and I feel better now..)
Issue: Attending a close friend's wedding which is a month plus away from my wedding day.
What happened:
- Asked mom to check with her if I am able to attend since it is a month plus before my wedding day. Mom said she is not too sure about such traditionals and if my FMIL is alright with it, I can attend. Checked with JJ's side and JJ and I are attending. Confirm with my friend.
- A week later, mom told me that I might not be able to attend friend's wedding as we based it on the GDL day. If the wedding falls before my GDL day, I can attend. Otherwise, I cant attend.
- Problem: GDL date is selected by the geomancer and I have no idea how flexible the selection of dates are. What if my GDL falls before her wedding? Hence, I told them that since their notice came late and I have agreed to attend my friend's wedding based on the permission granted earlier, I am attending regardless of what happens.
- They blew their top.
- Mom and dad denied the fact that they agreed to let me attend my friend's wedding, insisting that they do not know the situation then such as uncertainty in GDL dates (and they used that as their triumph card against me). It was to the extent that such agreement was even inexistent! How can they do that to me!
- Dad uses threats like not attending my wedding if I ever attend my friend's wedding after my GDL.
- Mom threatened me to returned all the tables that JJ's parents gave to her.
- Mom mocked at me saying things like I am not up to my job profession since I am so stubborn and do not know how to listen. I really hate it when pple uses my job profession to criticise me.
- Since my friend's wedding is so important, they are not going to attend mine.
- Dad even commented hurtful comments that since I value promises so much, they expect that I will kill them if they don't honour their words (giving examples that they promised me a huge sum of money and yet did not give)
- I know that my friend would be able to undstand what I am going through if I turn down the invitation. Furthermore, my GDL might fall after her wedding and I would have the best of both worlds. Since I am able to anticipate problems before they come, I just let my solutions made known to them. I just don't like the fact that they allowed in the first place and then could not due to some inputs by other pple and deny the fact that they created the whole hoo ha when I made noise. To them, I am the main problem because 1) I made noise 2) I refused to give in. Furthermore, dad barged into my room and shouted at me saying that they only intent to give me words of advice. Shouts, barge, threats and cynism are called words of advice from them. How am I going to accept?
- I would be convinced if they had spoke to me in a rational way than in a demanding tone. At least acknowledge that they granted permission in the first place. At least recognise such agreement and let me attend this wedding and not the rest. They really think that being a parent means everything must have their way. =(