Take my far away from here ; I will run with you.
Sooooooo long time since i wrote in this.
Prom was really fun. Jay's sister did my hair and at the last minute I ended up taking it out which I felt horrible about. She was cool about it though. Everyone was really dressed up and I kinda looked like a slacker because my dress wasn't as formal as everyone elses was but it was alright. I liked my dress so pooh on that. Obviously not very many people I`m friends with was there because well it wasnt my prom but I had a lot of fun anyways. I think that's what it made it so fun. There was like almost no drama and I spent the time with the person I love the most so I got everything I wanted out of it.
:-D
Buttt other then that, school's almost over and right as the year ends I get in school. I've done SO good this year with not getting detention or getting sent down to 125 and right when theres like 3 weeks of school left... whadya know!!!!! I get sent there. Ugh, I was trying to hard to go for a whole -no trouble, no detention- year but whatever. I got caught skipping one class out of all the times i've skipped this year so I guess I can consider my self lucky.
School ending soon is making me so nervous. I havnt done any better then I did last year and my goal this year was to actually PASS my classes and catch up. I didn't wanna have to end up in summer school again but that's what it looks like im gonna have to settle with. I`m not happy with the way this year turned out. Some things im happy about but others im not. Like im happy that I didn't get into any fights like I did last year. Also that I havn't gotten into any real trouble with any teachers or students. But then theres all my friends and then my grades and how big of a slacker I am. I don't talk to no where near the amout of people I used to, I`m not friends with hardly any of the people I used to be friends with, and most of my opinions of people or feelings toward them have changed a great deal. I used to have so many different groups of friends and so many best friends and now its like I have my set group of friends and their the only people I ever socialize with. I just miss the old days.
On a better note I finally went to softball practice and met all my team mates and realized that... the shit with Christie needs to be deaded. She's my team mate and theres no way I`m gonna be able to have a good time playing on the same team with her if we don't get along. Soo basically, when she talks to me I talk back and now its without an attitude. Lifes to short to be pissed all the time.
Everyones arguing again of course. No one can ever just be happy and not bitch or have something to complain about. I feel like a bad person because of the way i've been acting but the people I used to look at as my best friends and as people I could run to whenever I had a problem arnt really who I thought they were. Maybe im just holding a grudge because of the way I was made to feel because of stuff that was said to me, I dont know. I used to be able to walk around and be able to say "wow I don't fight with this person ever and this person ever and we never get into arguments for more then like 10 minutes" and then booooom, shit hits the fan and now I can barely look around and be able to say that about anyone anymore. Im coming off as tho im blaiming overything on other people but im not. I know im partly to blaim and I know im not perfect I just wish shit was different and it fucking sucks that Im now realizing that I dont think things will ever be the same again. I want my life back. I want things to be the same as they used to with my friends and I wanna be able to say, I have a best friend. Because honestly, I dont think I do. The closest person I have to a best friend right now is my boyfriend and Im not too shure if that's considered a best friend. I dont really know.
I don't get life. I wonder if it gets any easier but I think i'd be being lied to if I was told it does. Who know's.
Well goodbye, well needed nap time rite about now. <33
xox
Prom was really fun. Jay's sister did my hair and at the last minute I ended up taking it out which I felt horrible about. She was cool about it though. Everyone was really dressed up and I kinda looked like a slacker because my dress wasn't as formal as everyone elses was but it was alright. I liked my dress so pooh on that. Obviously not very many people I`m friends with was there because well it wasnt my prom but I had a lot of fun anyways. I think that's what it made it so fun. There was like almost no drama and I spent the time with the person I love the most so I got everything I wanted out of it.
:-D
Buttt other then that, school's almost over and right as the year ends I get in school. I've done SO good this year with not getting detention or getting sent down to 125 and right when theres like 3 weeks of school left... whadya know!!!!! I get sent there. Ugh, I was trying to hard to go for a whole -no trouble, no detention- year but whatever. I got caught skipping one class out of all the times i've skipped this year so I guess I can consider my self lucky.
School ending soon is making me so nervous. I havnt done any better then I did last year and my goal this year was to actually PASS my classes and catch up. I didn't wanna have to end up in summer school again but that's what it looks like im gonna have to settle with. I`m not happy with the way this year turned out. Some things im happy about but others im not. Like im happy that I didn't get into any fights like I did last year. Also that I havn't gotten into any real trouble with any teachers or students. But then theres all my friends and then my grades and how big of a slacker I am. I don't talk to no where near the amout of people I used to, I`m not friends with hardly any of the people I used to be friends with, and most of my opinions of people or feelings toward them have changed a great deal. I used to have so many different groups of friends and so many best friends and now its like I have my set group of friends and their the only people I ever socialize with. I just miss the old days.
On a better note I finally went to softball practice and met all my team mates and realized that... the shit with Christie needs to be deaded. She's my team mate and theres no way I`m gonna be able to have a good time playing on the same team with her if we don't get along. Soo basically, when she talks to me I talk back and now its without an attitude. Lifes to short to be pissed all the time.
Everyones arguing again of course. No one can ever just be happy and not bitch or have something to complain about. I feel like a bad person because of the way i've been acting but the people I used to look at as my best friends and as people I could run to whenever I had a problem arnt really who I thought they were. Maybe im just holding a grudge because of the way I was made to feel because of stuff that was said to me, I dont know. I used to be able to walk around and be able to say "wow I don't fight with this person ever and this person ever and we never get into arguments for more then like 10 minutes" and then booooom, shit hits the fan and now I can barely look around and be able to say that about anyone anymore. Im coming off as tho im blaiming overything on other people but im not. I know im partly to blaim and I know im not perfect I just wish shit was different and it fucking sucks that Im now realizing that I dont think things will ever be the same again. I want my life back. I want things to be the same as they used to with my friends and I wanna be able to say, I have a best friend. Because honestly, I dont think I do. The closest person I have to a best friend right now is my boyfriend and Im not too shure if that's considered a best friend. I dont really know.
I don't get life. I wonder if it gets any easier but I think i'd be being lied to if I was told it does. Who know's.
Well goodbye, well needed nap time rite about now. <33
xox