I never think of the future, it comes soon enough

[w0lfm00n]

Ahhh and so the future does come sooner than I imagined. How many plans did I make for "the summer time" which has come and almost passed? i'm an overflowing bottle of plans and yet I managed to extract maybe a few of which I intended and I'm still full dammit! but then again, I've accomplished quite a bit just in the last few days and i'm proud of

Comments

Re: d r i v e l onward.

[w0lfm00n]

lol! wowie thanks for the insight and I enjoyed the read. to be more specific, I guess what I meant was that I felt as though I was just following what others wanted out of me instead of what I wanted out of me...ie: sticking with Joe instead of going to school as I distinctly remember wanting to apply and he freaked out so I tore up the app for the time being...there's just little instances where I can plainly see I was not doing things for myself as much as I could have. Or trying to change the way I am (ie: appearing more fun? daring? I dunno...) to perhaps receive more attention from people. Although my words did hold the other meaning in which you speak of, I just didn't intend so much to want to carve out my own path as cliche sounding as that is...I just wanted to affirm that I would start making sure I wanted to do something instead of abiding to what others wanted...does that make sense? I'm so tired I am not even sure! lol

I'm just feeling really unsure of so many things, and I'm feeling pent up and torn and irritated and ignored. Yeah ignored works well for the majority....and I feel pretty alone, always wanting to please too many people and I just don't feel comfortable around people so much anymore. I sware I don't know why I can't look people in the eyes most of the time, or I pretend to look them in the eyes hoping somehow that will convince them I am comfortable around them...and then of course I want to have more friends and have people want to like me or be aroudn me and then the vicious cycle starts again where I am nervous and feel like I have to say something or I'm boring it's bothering me alot lately...so all this shit is swirling around and I just grab onto whatever I can at the moment and vent it out on here...

I guess I have alot to learn huh? I really appreciate what you said tho and thank you and haha and just it on my tab!