God Blessed the Broken Road. Chapter Ten.
Written by: lady_lilith and lady_death.
Title: God Blessed the Broken Road. Chapter Ten.
Fandom: MLB: New York Yankees.
Characters: Andy Pettitte, Joe Girardi, Dante Girardi, Luke Pettitte, Serena Girardi, Lena Girardi, Kim Girardi.
Word Count: 6,406.
Rating: PG.
Summary: How nice to come home again.
Author's Notes: This is set on August 29, 2010. The Yankees beat the White Sox, 2-1, in Chicago. Since it was a day game, they flew home right after. In the car, heading home.
"Can we make a quick stop before headin' home?"
"Of course, what do you need?"
"I'd like to stop and get some flowers for Kim. Do you know what her favourite kind is? I don't wanna bring home ones she wouldn't like."
Surprised, but smiles, "That's very thoughtful. She likes anything but roses."
"That's a pretty wide field. What kinda husband are you, not knowin' your wife's favourites?"
"I can point them out, but if you ask me what they're called, I'll tell you wrong."
"Then I'll have to borrow you for a minute, so you can go on inside with me and help me pick 'em proper."
With a teasing grin, "Are you trying to steal my wife?"
"I'm tryin' to thank your wife for all she's been doin' for me this past week by lookin' after Luke." Smiles back, also playful, "If she decides to like me better, that's not my fault."
Tisks, "Trying to win her favour. I'm sure Luke has been a perfect angel." Parks on the street in front of a florist's shop.
"Have you met my son? I love him to death, but he's a real handful. I mean he listens good, about baseball, probably listens better than the other two put together, but he still takes lot of energy."
Chuckles, "And why does that sound familiar?"
"Are you callin' me a handful? I done behaved well for you. Did I go runnin'? No. I pitched only as many pitches as I was supposed to and I sat around."
Grins, "I was talking about Dante. You've behaved perfectly well."
"She gave birth to Dante, she has to feed him and love him and put a roof over his head. She could ship Luke off to Texas." Hops out of the car, heading into the florist's.
Follows him in, "Luke is impossible not to love instantly."
"Still, all this was last minute and she didn't have to do it. I'm thankful I get to come home to my son 'cause of her."
"She'll appreciate this. But you do understand that it's not a 'favour'. You and they are family."
"Even more reason to say thank you, family should get thanked more often since so many people think thay can get away with just expectin' things."
"That's a very nice idea, I like it and I know Kim will appreciate it." Points out a bouquet with pink daisy-like flowers.
"Those are real nice. You promise she'll like these?" Smiles at him, "You aren't leadin' me astray so I don't steal your wife?"
Chuckles, "As tempted as I am to assure I'm still her favourite, this is the truth. She always likes the mix of flowers that I don't know the name of."
Grins, "Maybe I should be buyin' you a bouquet too."
Smiles, "Oh, is there something you want to thank me for?"
"Yeah, maybe there is something. Do you want some roses for your office? I could get 'em to make it up real nice for you."
"While I appreciate the offer, I think my office can go without flowers."
Laughs, "Were you thinkin' you'd rather have one of those giant teddy bears instead?"
"At least I could be assured that would only be in my office for as long as my daughters didn't see it."
"Well now I might go about surprisin' you with one. You sound so excited, how could I deny you?"
Shakes his head, though he's still smiling, "If they get wind of that...."
"Give 'em something to talk about, yeah? Mouths are runnin' anyway, we could have a little fun with 'em."
A raised eyebrow, "I won't deny you that."
Grins a little more devilishly, taking the flowers he pointed out to go pay for them.
Stands back, just watching him, torn between shaking his head and laughing.
On his way to the door, "They'd never expect it from us, I may have to think on this idea."
"I give you free reign to think as much as you want on that. There isn't a need to hide anything, in my opinion."
"It's not the hidin' I care about, but the tongues waggin', in which case I think it's only fair to give a little back."
"I look forward to seeing what you come up with. This is the danger of having you on the DL, a lot of time to think."
"This is the danger of you givin' me all this time to talk to the young guys."
"I have confidence that anything you can impart to them will outweigh any ideas they give you."
"Well maybe, probably best you don't let me and Joba jabber at each other too much or you're gonna get proven wrong."
"I have confidence even then. I think you're a great help to all of our pitchers."
"Now I think you're tryin' to turn my head with compliments. Is this where you tell me everybody's playin' too well for me to go back in the rotation?"
"Is that a concern of yours?"
"I don't think you've run me off quite yet. Maybe in a year or two these young pups will take over completely."
"Maybe once you've decided to retire. And not even then will you not be missed in the rotation."
"Is that what Cash told you? Well, it don't matter because I'm gonna keep doin' my thing and workin' hard until you kick me out."
Smiles, "So I can hold on to the belief you have a few more years for me?"
"I think my stuff will hold up for a couple more years. We got such great hitters behind me, maybe I'll see close to twenty wins again. Coulda been this year if it wasn't for goin' on the DL."
"Would have been. Next year, you'll prove that."
"I see numbers like 11-2 and it makes me think, yeah, you can still keep goin' old boy."
Smiles, "I like hearing that thought."
"You aren't gonna tell me I'm delusional?"
"Of course not. I've known you're not finished right along."
"So if I had thought about retirin' would you have cheered my ear off until I decided to come back?"
"I already had my speech planned."
"That's fair, after the season ends we can trade speeches about stayin' in New York."
"I don't foresee either of us needing a lot of convincing."
"I don't either, but it's a nice feeling knowin' that you're wanted and needed, and I don't think I'd have the heart to play here if you weren't managin' us."
"I don't want to think too much about next year now but this is home. And it's never felt more like home than it does now."
Smiles, "And speakin' of home, it's real good to be off the road. Don't you think? Not like we don't travel like kings, but it's good to be drivin' on these roads."
"Oh yes. I've always disliked travelling. And not only missing home itself, which of course I do, but I miss the area and I miss our stadium. And the feel of the city."
"At least we can bring the fans with us wherever we go. But, there is nothin' like playin' in that stadium. I'm glad George got to see a championship in her."
"So am I. I had my concerns about it like everyone else, but it's home. And it feels good to be home. I can't imagine wanting to be anywhere else."
"You can't blame him for wantin' us to play in the most beautiful park in all of baseball. Sometimes I think I can pray better out there than in church."
"It's still a cathedral."
"Yeah it is."
Nods, glancing over to him, but keeping the silence.
Smiles a little nostalgically, reaching over for Joe's hand.
Squeezes his hand lightly, "Did you know right away that it would be home?"
"You mean when I came up as a rookie? No, I was a little terrified of New York to be honest. Never been in a place like this before."
"No? You didn't step out there and say 'I have arrived'?"
Laughs, "More like dived back into my room wonderin' what I had gotten myself into."
"I would have liked to have caught you then. That day."
"I coulda used you. You've got this calmin' presence that I needed badly, both on and off the field."
"I can imagine what it would have been like. If I could go back in time, that's something I would like to see what would have happened."
"I don't know, maybe it woulda changed everything." Smiles, "Maybe there's another you and another me out there who met when I first came up."
"Maybe there is. Maybe somewhere I was traded one year earlier and our lives were completely different. Maybe I retired a Yankee. Or maybe nothing changed at all. It would be interesting to see."
"As long as we got to this point eventually, that's all I care about."
Smiles, "Me too."
"I like this life I'm leadin' right now, I really do, Joe. I wouldn't wish to be anywhere else."
"I'm glad to hear you say that. And if the way our lives have gone, is the way they had to go, to get us here, I wouldn't change a thing."
Laughs, "But I would not mind havin' you to get lost with when I started here. Or maybe it's a good thing you didn't meet the totally naive country boy."
"Oh you're telling me you were worldly by '96?"
"I had at least figured out how to hail a cab."
Chuckles, "Ah, I see. I would very much like to meet that country boy. Though as myself in '95 not the rookie I was in Chicago."
"I see, only I get to be trippin' over my own feet in your head."
"I wasn't what you'd call naive."
"Where were you like as a rookie?"
"Out of college, done with the small town minors, and hitting what had always been the 'big city' growing up."
"That doesn't tell me what you were like, I know all that about you."
"I wasn't naive. Isn't that enough of an answer?"
"No, there are many ways to be besides naive, but if you don't wanna talk about it, I can respect that."
"I'm glad that I didn't meet you until I had both my game settled and my head in the right place to be your catcher."
"I can't imagine you've ever called a bad game."
"Thank you. I only wish it were true."
"I've heard things about you in college, they gave you more control back there than anybody else."
"They did, and I've always felt I earned that. But no one is perfect. I can't say I never made a mistake, especially when I was younger. But that's how anyone learns. I don't mean that I wasn't good enough necessarily as a catcher in the game, I mean more my maturity to understand what my pitchers needed on and off the field. That came with practice and trial and error."
Frowns, "You don't think we would have gotten along when you were a rookie?"
"I wonder. But I can't say for sure."
Frowning more, "You wouldn't have liked me?"
"Oh no, I would have liked you a lot."
"Maybe I would have been too country boy for you to get along with off the field."
"If you had been in Chicago? I would have loved to show you around. Maybe sometimes just to see the surprise."
"That I wouldn't have minded, it's nice havin' someone who knows where they're goin' show you around."
"Maybe we would have gotten along."
Smiles, "You sound more flashy than when we did meet."
"Flashy might be a good word for it. I was much more impressed with myself than I am now."
Laughs, "I can't imagine this! You're one of the most modest people I know."
"And maybe by certain standards I still was, but by my own? I look back and shake my head at that kid. But Chicago was his city, regardless of if it was or not."
"You musta been very attractive, like a light attractin' fireflies on a summer evening, everybody buzzin' all around you."
"When you are twenty-four and Greg Maddux wants you to catch him, and you're in a city that you want to be in, it's very difficult to keep yourself in check all the time."
"When you got here that confidence was a lot more internal. It made it hard to argue with you, when you radiate this sense of knowin' what you're doin'. I woulda been more shy around that younger you."
"That is just what Chicago taught me. That it's much more prudent to simply know what you're doing than to need to show you know. It became so I didn't need to even think that I knew what I was doing, I just did it. That's the maturity that I'm glad you met."
"Which I'm glad I had on my side." Shakes his head, speaking to himself as much as Joe, "I would have been preenin' like peacock whenever you showed attention to me, I can see that easy."
Laughs to himself, "It would have been a lot."
"You would have been this put together guy, knowin' your way around Chicago, knowin' your way around the team. You'd be too cool to wanna hang with a kid from Deer Park."
"That would have been... do the math for me. How old were you in, say, '91?"
"I'd be turnin' 19 in June."
"That would have been very interesting."
"And I woulda been even younger and less experienced, I wasn't even married yet."
"I certainly would have enjoyed showing you around."
Running his hand over his arm, "You could have shown nineteen-year-old me a lot of things."
Glances over to him, "And I would have."
"I wouldn't have said no. You would have turned my head around so fast it'd be spinnin'."
"I can't help but wonder what that would have been like."
"It'd be different for sure. I wasn't married or a father, I had no responsibilities to anybody, but myself. I would have jumped at the chance to be with you."
"Would we have lasted?"
"I don't know. I don't think I could fall out of love with you. If you matured into the man I love today, I don't see how we couldn't have."
"But you know a butterfly flaps his wings in Mongolia and we're in a rain delay. How would we have been different? I don't want to change things, but I'd like to watch it, like a movie."
"If only there was a TV channel you could tune to, to watch these things."
"I would gladly subscribe to that one."
Laughs, "But you'd be usin' it to check up on all your managerial decisions, see if you made the right choices."
Grins, "Is that such a bad use?"
"I'd never see you again, you'd be glued to that thing."
"I've found my favourite way to watch anything is with you, so perhaps the better way to phrase that is no one would see either of us again."
"I don't think that's gonna work for my schedule, I had other plans for our free time which aren't you second guessin' yourself and breakin' down film from other timelines."
"Oh? What were your plans?"
"More relaxin' like."
"And watching film from other timelines doesn't sound relaxing to you?"
"No it sounds real passive and what I want from you is a lot more active. Relaxin', but active."
"Ah active relaxing." Putting the car in park, turning towards him. "I could certainly enjoy that."
"It looks like we're about to be real busy, but maybe later I can show you what I mean by that."
"After everyone goes to bed." Leans over to kiss him sweetly.
Returns the kiss, holding him there for a moment, "I love you."
Touches his cheek, taking a minute to just look at him, "I love you too."
"If you keep lookin' at me like that, I'm never gonna get inside the house. We'll end up sittin' here all night."
Smiles, "And you have to go charm my wife."
"Yeah, it would be wrong to let these flowers wilt." Ducks his head, smiling, before letting himself out of the car.
Laughs to himself, shaking his head. Leads him up to the house, unlocking the door to hear running footsteps and the announcement that's he's home delivered for him.
Steps inside, much more at ease with coming home here, carefully holding the bouquet so not to crush it.
Slides to a stop at their feet, grinning, "I've been practicing that!"
Laughs, "Just be careful not to slide into anything, otherwise it's lookin' good."
Runs after Dante, but on seeing Andy charges him, "Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Hugs his legs.
"How are you doin' Luke? You been behavin'?"
"We had like the best time. Dante is cool and he showed me catcher stuff and he throwed with me a lot, and I got to stay here and sleep in his room. And we had pancakes, they were good."
Jumps up to his feet, still grinning brilliantly at Joe, "I'm gonna make him a catcher, just like us!"
Laughs, "You're going to get me in trouble for that."
Holding her sister's hand, trying not to rush her. "Hi!"
Hurrying as fast as she can keep balance, squeaks at seeing them.
Leans down to pick Lena up, "I have to get my hugs in now before you throw me over for your favourite."
"He was gonna be a pitcher last week. Hi Serena, Lena, how are my girls doin'? And where is your mom hidin'?"
"Mm mm, catcher now!"
Hugs Joe but then turns to Andy, "Pick me up?"
"Did you read the books I gave you? And mom's in the kitchen."
Kisses Lena's cheek, "One minute, baby. Your daddy misses you. And yes I did read those books, can I get a hug from you?"
Pouts at him.
"Mmhmm." Steps around Luke to hug Andy. "We missed you-all."
Bends down to hug her tightly with his free arm, "We missed you too."
"Why do you have flowers?"
"Shh, they're for your mama."
Giggles, "Really? They're so pretty!"
"I'm glad one of the ladies in the house approves of 'em." Stands back up, "You said she's in the kitchen?"
Turns to Joe, hugging him too now that he's done with Andy.
"I'll show you." Takes his hand to lead him.
Crouches down with Lena to hug Luke, "Sounds like you had fun."
Grins at him, "Oh yeah, Uncle Joe. I really really really like your house."
Laughs a little, letting her pull him along.
Laughs, "I'm very glad you do."
Pats Luke, "We played!"
Leads him directly into the kitchen, "Mom, they're home!"
"Can I stay here more?"
"How is the lady of the house? I hope Luke didn't drive you too crazy."
"Would you like to?"
"We're doing well. He certainly is energetic." Laughs.
"Uh huh!" Takes his hand, "Wanna play games with us?"
Presents her with the flowers, "Thank you for takin' care of him. It was real nice being able to walk in here and see him."
Laughs, standing up again, "Let's check in first, then we can play."
"I'll play with you."
"Oh, they're beautiful." Takes the bouquet, kissing his cheek, "That's very sweet of you. We enjoyed having him here."
"You can play too, we'll all play together."
"Maybe that means you'll want to keep him around a few more weeks." Hugs her, "Everything you're doin' around here is appreciated."
"Thank you. It means a lot to hear that. We'd love to have him as long as you'd like. He's really no trouble." Grins, "And it gets me off the hook for not giving Dante a brother."
"I'm glad I could help you out there. I gotta pull my weight around here someway. Luke is enough for two little brothers."
Laughs, "He certainly does have enough energy to be." Fills a vase to display the flowers, "These really are lovely."
"I had some good advice about what kind to get you, though I was worried for a minute he might steer me wrong." Smiles, "But seein' how you like 'em, he did right by me."
"Even if you're trying to run off with my wife, I still wouldn't tell you wrong."
"I'm considering it, I'll have you know. I love a man that brings me flowers."
As soon as he's in reach, pats Andy's arm.
"You're gonna hurt your daddy's feelings, Lena. But I can't say no to a pretty girl." Takes her from him.
Smiles brightly, "Bye, Daddy." Snuggles in with Andy, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I like you, Dad."
Laughs, "Thank you. At least some of my children haven't thrown me over."
Rocks her in his arms, "I like your dad too, so he should still feel loved if we remember to tell him that often."
Slides an arm around Andy's waist, "So you've decided against running off with my wife?"
"I don't know how she feels about Texas. Would you like to go runnin' south of the border with me?"
"With someone as charming as you? I certainly am tempted."
Smiles, "It's real beautiful country. You could stretch out in the sun, be drinkin' those mixed drink they're famous for, listenin' to a live guitarist."
"I'm sold. We're running off now."
"Do you hear this, Joe? When's the last time you've takin' this woman on a vacation?"
"Last winter, I'll have you know."
"It was a very short winter. And now you're promising to give me another short one."
"It sounds like your lovely wife could use a spa day."
"If you weren't already married, I'd marry you."
"Oh, I have to be careful bringing you home. You charm all of my girls away from me."
"I'm just sayin' maybe I could watch the kids one day while we're at home, since I'm not allowed to play, give you a break."
"Uncle Joe are you gonna come play?"
"And I love that you're suggesting it. And any day you'd like, I will hand over the reins and they're all yours."
"Oh at least someone still likes me. What are we playing, Luke?"
Smiles, "Okay, I'll figure out which day I'm not workin' out in the bullpen." To Joe, "I still like you."
"Race cars, you can be the blue one. Do you know how to play video games?"
"I'm already looking forward to it."
"And that I'm very thankful for." To Luke, "I've been known to play a game or two."
Grins at him, "Did you play some when you were away?"
"No, I save up my video game playing for a home. Did you play while we were away?"
Nods, "Uh huh, 'cause I can't run around outside when it's dark. I have to be in here and then I can play 'em."
"That sounds like a good time for them. But you weren't staying up too late, were you?"
"Not too late. Just like a little bit late."
"A little bit is okay, as long as it's not all the time."
Takes his hand, "Did you stay up real late?"
"No, I can't because I have to get up in the morning and I don't want to be tired."
Tugs him toward the couch, "That's good, you don't wanna be a sleepy head. Do you go runnin'? Daddy always goes runnin'. I can't run that much yet, it makes me tired."
Goes along with him, "I do like to run in the morning, with your dad. We have to wait for him to heal up completely before he can run again."
"Can you run as much as him? He runs lots."
"Kim? Can I speak to you a minute?"
"I hope I'll still be able to keep up, but I don't know. I have old knees."
"Of course."
"Nuh uh, you don't have knees like grandpa, you're just like daddy."
"I know I've been on the road with Joe, and you haven't seen him all week. I was wonderin' what you wanna do tonight."
Chuckles, "If only that were true."
"I don't know what you mean."
"Well, I figure you been missin' him. I was hoggin' his time right before we left and I had him the whole road trip. Would you like him to spend tonight with you? I'd understand that."
"That's very sweet of you to ask. Were you planning on leaving?"
"No, I was just tryin' to sort out logistics, about if I was sleepin' alone in the guest room or not. Unless, you'd like me and Luke to go back to our house, give you some privacy."
Surprised, "Why would you be sleeping alone?"
Equally surprised, "Because Joe would be sleepin' with you?"
"Unless you've gotten into an argument, I don't foresee that happening."
"But...he's your husband. It's not fair for me to spend every night with him."
"Do you know how often Joe falls asleep on the couch with his notebooks and papers?"
Smiles, "I can picture that, you gotta pry him away from his work and even then he doesn't stop talkin' about it."
"I'm much too used to it. But somehow I believe you can get him to go to bed."
"Are you sure? I know I stepped in here as the outsider, and if you wanna let me know what days I get with Joe and what days you're callin' yours, I'm not gonna argue with you."
"I honestly don't want to make a schedule. Joe is happy sleeping with you and I don't mind it."
"Okay. Thank you, I was worried 'cause I didn't know what your routine was. If you're used to havin' some alone time when he comes home from the road or what."
"You don't need to worry." Offers him one of the carrots she's cutting up. "How will Laura be in that situation?"
Takes it, "She was more worried about me spendin' enough time with the kids. It sort of worked itself out, seein' as Roger had times he wanted to spend at his house and then this time of year both our wives were in Texas. I've never done it like this before. We never lived under the same roof."
"And is that how you see next season being?"
Frowns, "I don't honestly know. I'm used to like the kids goin' back and forth. Lord knows we had enough sleepovers and the like, but..." Frowns more, "I guess I never really thought about this kinda decision before. Maybe I should have, but I was happy goin' along with whatever."
"Do you like the going back and forth? Do you like having your own house apart?"
"I don't really feel the need to have my own space, no. I've liked this a lot, comin' through the door and seein' not only Luke but all of these ones as well." Kisses Lena's hair, "Havin' everybody all together sounds nice to me. I don't know how Laura'd feel about that though."
"Would you like me to talk to her about it?"
"I wouldn't mind you talkin' to her. I think we'll be havin' a sit down too, but she might have concerns it'd be easier to express to you instead of me. It's not like I'm here to see what goes on, when I'm on the road."
"I've been thinking about this a lot, having Luke here with us while you've been on the road. You know this is even more new to us because we've never had anything even similar in this family. But I loved having him here, he fit in seemlessly. I find that I'm looking forward to it. I'll talk to Laura, though, and see her views on this as well."
"For someone who's never been in this situation, you've been a real angel about it. Handlin' it better than I think anyone else could."
"I've had a lot of time to think about how I would react once it happened. And after all these years, I'm just so grateful it did happen, that however it works out, I'm okay with. And that's because I know you'll be this respectful about it."
"I'm tryin' my best. Did you always know this would happen? Can ask, did y'all talk about it or did you just know to expect it before he said anything?"
"I've known how he feels about you since the beginning, I saw it all over his face every time he talked about you. I've always known that you would find your way to each other, but Joe can be very stubborn."
Nods, "Laura figured things out long before I did and she'd put some thought behind things too." Frowns, "That..." Pauses, trying to find the proper words, "Seein' that, I hope it didn't cause you any heartache."
"I've all but pleaded with him to talk to you about it. But after '99, he wouldn't even listen. I'm glad you're together now."
"I've come to believe that the heart has a lot of room in it, enough to encompass a commitment to more than one person. I used to think like most people that it'd be cheatin', but it's not that at all. It's not guilt, or shame, or sneakin' behind people's backs, hurtin' 'em because you're not a big enough person to let 'em know there's somebody else in your life. It's just openin' yourself up to be able to receive more of that beautiful gift, and bein' able to give it yourself. I love Joe and I promise when he's with me I'll care for him just as if I were the one married to him."
Stops what she's doing to watch him while he's talking. "I could listen to you all day, you're very free and open about what you feel and how you've learned. I'm very amazed by that. And even more grateful that you'll be a part of our family because I can trust you mean everything that you say. I know that I won't have to feel like an intruder in my home."
Horrified, "No--I'd never. This is your house, if I'm ever actin' like that I hope you smack me hard, 'cause I would deserve it. I just want us to have a way of both bein' happy around each other and with Joe."
"I believe that I'll never have to smack you. I know this will work as smoothly as it has been."
"I meant it about takin' the kids off your hands when I could. You got the harder job, rasin' them. Baseball is easy in comparison."
Smiles, "And I meant it about taking you up on that anytime you want to. I love them dearly but I wouldn't mind a day off once in a while."
"You're a really special woman, Joe is lucky to have you. I feel lucky. I hope...Is it okay if I think of you as family too?"
"Thank you. I would like that." Walks over to hug him, "I really am glad you've figured yourselves out."
Hugs her back, careful of Lena, smiling, "The road trip helped us sort some things. I feel like this big weight’s lifted off me. No, more like a baby bird that's gone tumblin' out of the nest with its heart thumpin' terrified it's gonna hit the ground, only to discover what those wings it was born with were for. Bein' able to say I love him is like that. I had all these worries that didn't have a thing to do with him, and now, I feel the most at peace I've been since...well since three years ago. And I'm startin' to suspect, maybe a little more so than back then."
"That's a beautiful way to describe it." Looks at him, petting Lena's hair, "I think comparing this to your previous relationship may not be the best idea."
"I'm sorry, if you'd rather I not mention it at all, I can do that. It's not that I'm lookin' for a replacement or anything. Sometimes it's hard not to reference it because it seems like I spent a good chunk of my adulthood in that relationship."
"I don't want you to get the impression that I don't want you to mention him, because that's not at all what I'm saying. I just don't want you to set yourself up to think that this will be like that, because you're dealing with very different people."
"Oh, I do know that. Sometimes I know it more than other times. I got a completely different kinda connection with Joe and sometimes, like it takes bein' in a situation to realise how I woulda acted before don't work here. It's not that I'm on autopilot, but..." Sighs, frustrated with his inability to explain to his satisfaction, "I met Roger when I was twenty-five and he was so much older than me. He had so much life experience that I wanted to suck up like a sponge. I could just sit and listen to him. And then I spent nine years with him, and you spend nine years with anybody and you're gonna fall into certain habits, habits you don't even realise you do. Now with Joe, maybe 'cause I'm with in particular, I guess I can see some of those things as habits for the first time and it can be hard realisin' that won't work with him and then sometimes it can be exhiliratin' because it works a lot better than I coulda imagined."
"I can see you've done a lot of thinking about this and that eases my concerns. It's not that I expect you to change your ways, unless you think they need to be changed, I just want to hear that you're thinking about whether they need to be or not."
"It could use more thinkin honestly. Livin' day to day with Joe this past week has shown me that. It's more that something will happen with Joe and the wheels in my head'll start turnin'. Like the way he's willin' to listen to me. You'd think after fourteen years of friendship that'd be something I would know is a given with him no matter what kinda relationship we have. It's not that Roger didn't listen. I can't say that when layin' out why he should come out of retirement got him to play with me in Houston, but with Roger when he disagreed with you that was it. End of the argument. Discussion over. And if you tried to bring it up again, well, he'd feel hurt. He couldn't understand why you'd disagree with him, he took in personal like. But with Joe, I know even if he disagrees, if I want to talk about something again he's gonna listen to me and be reasonable about it. There's just those things you smooth over after a while because you love someone and it's not worth complainin' about. With Joe, it's all brandnew, and maybe sometimes I gotta remind myself of that. That if we run into any potholes, I don't gotta just smooth 'em over. We got a clean start here to find our own way and make our own mistakes."
"And I hope you're not afraid to make those mistakes. I'm sure I don't need to tell you this after fourteen years, but he is very patient and this will all be a process for both of you. No matter how much he'd like to be, he won't be perfect at this either."
"I'm sure he's told you, I'm the one known for bein' the perfectionist. It's his job to remind me when that's bein' unreasonable."
"I've yet to meet a ballplayer that doesn't try to be perfect most of the time."
Smiles, "You must hang around too many pitchers."
Laughs, "So I've been told. A family curse, I suppose."
"Where catchers are, pitchers will gather." Laughs.
Smiles, shaking her head, "And I have twenty years behind a catcher."
"Most of my friends are pitches, makin' it hard to apologize for that."
"Lucky I'm not looking for an apology." Smiles at him.
"Then I am lucky. Do you think I should put her to bed?"
"What time is it?"
"It's gotta be gettin' late. I'd guess around nine, but I can't reach my phone."
"No wonder she's out. If you wouldn't mind bringing her upstairs."
"I don't mind at all." Begins to walk out, then pauses, "Kim, do you know 1st Corinthians chapter 13? That's what I've come to think of, when I think of your husband."
"I'll make a point to look that up."
Nods to her, continuing towards the stairs, "Lets put you to bed, baby girl."
Watches them for a minute before going to the shelf. Searches through their bible, sitting down to read what he suggested. Smiling as she does so.
The next morning…
While his spot in the bed is no longer occupied next to Joe, on top of his pillow rests his Bible, open to first Corinthians. A few lines in particular highlighted: If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Reads over the highlighted words many times, more touched than he could find words for in the moment. Doesn't make mention of it until later at the park where Andy will find a note taped in his stall, written in a familiar hand:
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Title: God Blessed the Broken Road. Chapter Ten.
Fandom: MLB: New York Yankees.
Characters: Andy Pettitte, Joe Girardi, Dante Girardi, Luke Pettitte, Serena Girardi, Lena Girardi, Kim Girardi.
Word Count: 6,406.
Rating: PG.
Summary: How nice to come home again.
Author's Notes: This is set on August 29, 2010. The Yankees beat the White Sox, 2-1, in Chicago. Since it was a day game, they flew home right after. In the car, heading home.
"Can we make a quick stop before headin' home?"
"Of course, what do you need?"
"I'd like to stop and get some flowers for Kim. Do you know what her favourite kind is? I don't wanna bring home ones she wouldn't like."
Surprised, but smiles, "That's very thoughtful. She likes anything but roses."
"That's a pretty wide field. What kinda husband are you, not knowin' your wife's favourites?"
"I can point them out, but if you ask me what they're called, I'll tell you wrong."
"Then I'll have to borrow you for a minute, so you can go on inside with me and help me pick 'em proper."
With a teasing grin, "Are you trying to steal my wife?"
"I'm tryin' to thank your wife for all she's been doin' for me this past week by lookin' after Luke." Smiles back, also playful, "If she decides to like me better, that's not my fault."
Tisks, "Trying to win her favour. I'm sure Luke has been a perfect angel." Parks on the street in front of a florist's shop.
"Have you met my son? I love him to death, but he's a real handful. I mean he listens good, about baseball, probably listens better than the other two put together, but he still takes lot of energy."
Chuckles, "And why does that sound familiar?"
"Are you callin' me a handful? I done behaved well for you. Did I go runnin'? No. I pitched only as many pitches as I was supposed to and I sat around."
Grins, "I was talking about Dante. You've behaved perfectly well."
"She gave birth to Dante, she has to feed him and love him and put a roof over his head. She could ship Luke off to Texas." Hops out of the car, heading into the florist's.
Follows him in, "Luke is impossible not to love instantly."
"Still, all this was last minute and she didn't have to do it. I'm thankful I get to come home to my son 'cause of her."
"She'll appreciate this. But you do understand that it's not a 'favour'. You and they are family."
"Even more reason to say thank you, family should get thanked more often since so many people think thay can get away with just expectin' things."
"That's a very nice idea, I like it and I know Kim will appreciate it." Points out a bouquet with pink daisy-like flowers.
"Those are real nice. You promise she'll like these?" Smiles at him, "You aren't leadin' me astray so I don't steal your wife?"
Chuckles, "As tempted as I am to assure I'm still her favourite, this is the truth. She always likes the mix of flowers that I don't know the name of."
Grins, "Maybe I should be buyin' you a bouquet too."
Smiles, "Oh, is there something you want to thank me for?"
"Yeah, maybe there is something. Do you want some roses for your office? I could get 'em to make it up real nice for you."
"While I appreciate the offer, I think my office can go without flowers."
Laughs, "Were you thinkin' you'd rather have one of those giant teddy bears instead?"
"At least I could be assured that would only be in my office for as long as my daughters didn't see it."
"Well now I might go about surprisin' you with one. You sound so excited, how could I deny you?"
Shakes his head, though he's still smiling, "If they get wind of that...."
"Give 'em something to talk about, yeah? Mouths are runnin' anyway, we could have a little fun with 'em."
A raised eyebrow, "I won't deny you that."
Grins a little more devilishly, taking the flowers he pointed out to go pay for them.
Stands back, just watching him, torn between shaking his head and laughing.
On his way to the door, "They'd never expect it from us, I may have to think on this idea."
"I give you free reign to think as much as you want on that. There isn't a need to hide anything, in my opinion."
"It's not the hidin' I care about, but the tongues waggin', in which case I think it's only fair to give a little back."
"I look forward to seeing what you come up with. This is the danger of having you on the DL, a lot of time to think."
"This is the danger of you givin' me all this time to talk to the young guys."
"I have confidence that anything you can impart to them will outweigh any ideas they give you."
"Well maybe, probably best you don't let me and Joba jabber at each other too much or you're gonna get proven wrong."
"I have confidence even then. I think you're a great help to all of our pitchers."
"Now I think you're tryin' to turn my head with compliments. Is this where you tell me everybody's playin' too well for me to go back in the rotation?"
"Is that a concern of yours?"
"I don't think you've run me off quite yet. Maybe in a year or two these young pups will take over completely."
"Maybe once you've decided to retire. And not even then will you not be missed in the rotation."
"Is that what Cash told you? Well, it don't matter because I'm gonna keep doin' my thing and workin' hard until you kick me out."
Smiles, "So I can hold on to the belief you have a few more years for me?"
"I think my stuff will hold up for a couple more years. We got such great hitters behind me, maybe I'll see close to twenty wins again. Coulda been this year if it wasn't for goin' on the DL."
"Would have been. Next year, you'll prove that."
"I see numbers like 11-2 and it makes me think, yeah, you can still keep goin' old boy."
Smiles, "I like hearing that thought."
"You aren't gonna tell me I'm delusional?"
"Of course not. I've known you're not finished right along."
"So if I had thought about retirin' would you have cheered my ear off until I decided to come back?"
"I already had my speech planned."
"That's fair, after the season ends we can trade speeches about stayin' in New York."
"I don't foresee either of us needing a lot of convincing."
"I don't either, but it's a nice feeling knowin' that you're wanted and needed, and I don't think I'd have the heart to play here if you weren't managin' us."
"I don't want to think too much about next year now but this is home. And it's never felt more like home than it does now."
Smiles, "And speakin' of home, it's real good to be off the road. Don't you think? Not like we don't travel like kings, but it's good to be drivin' on these roads."
"Oh yes. I've always disliked travelling. And not only missing home itself, which of course I do, but I miss the area and I miss our stadium. And the feel of the city."
"At least we can bring the fans with us wherever we go. But, there is nothin' like playin' in that stadium. I'm glad George got to see a championship in her."
"So am I. I had my concerns about it like everyone else, but it's home. And it feels good to be home. I can't imagine wanting to be anywhere else."
"You can't blame him for wantin' us to play in the most beautiful park in all of baseball. Sometimes I think I can pray better out there than in church."
"It's still a cathedral."
"Yeah it is."
Nods, glancing over to him, but keeping the silence.
Smiles a little nostalgically, reaching over for Joe's hand.
Squeezes his hand lightly, "Did you know right away that it would be home?"
"You mean when I came up as a rookie? No, I was a little terrified of New York to be honest. Never been in a place like this before."
"No? You didn't step out there and say 'I have arrived'?"
Laughs, "More like dived back into my room wonderin' what I had gotten myself into."
"I would have liked to have caught you then. That day."
"I coulda used you. You've got this calmin' presence that I needed badly, both on and off the field."
"I can imagine what it would have been like. If I could go back in time, that's something I would like to see what would have happened."
"I don't know, maybe it woulda changed everything." Smiles, "Maybe there's another you and another me out there who met when I first came up."
"Maybe there is. Maybe somewhere I was traded one year earlier and our lives were completely different. Maybe I retired a Yankee. Or maybe nothing changed at all. It would be interesting to see."
"As long as we got to this point eventually, that's all I care about."
Smiles, "Me too."
"I like this life I'm leadin' right now, I really do, Joe. I wouldn't wish to be anywhere else."
"I'm glad to hear you say that. And if the way our lives have gone, is the way they had to go, to get us here, I wouldn't change a thing."
Laughs, "But I would not mind havin' you to get lost with when I started here. Or maybe it's a good thing you didn't meet the totally naive country boy."
"Oh you're telling me you were worldly by '96?"
"I had at least figured out how to hail a cab."
Chuckles, "Ah, I see. I would very much like to meet that country boy. Though as myself in '95 not the rookie I was in Chicago."
"I see, only I get to be trippin' over my own feet in your head."
"I wasn't what you'd call naive."
"Where were you like as a rookie?"
"Out of college, done with the small town minors, and hitting what had always been the 'big city' growing up."
"That doesn't tell me what you were like, I know all that about you."
"I wasn't naive. Isn't that enough of an answer?"
"No, there are many ways to be besides naive, but if you don't wanna talk about it, I can respect that."
"I'm glad that I didn't meet you until I had both my game settled and my head in the right place to be your catcher."
"I can't imagine you've ever called a bad game."
"Thank you. I only wish it were true."
"I've heard things about you in college, they gave you more control back there than anybody else."
"They did, and I've always felt I earned that. But no one is perfect. I can't say I never made a mistake, especially when I was younger. But that's how anyone learns. I don't mean that I wasn't good enough necessarily as a catcher in the game, I mean more my maturity to understand what my pitchers needed on and off the field. That came with practice and trial and error."
Frowns, "You don't think we would have gotten along when you were a rookie?"
"I wonder. But I can't say for sure."
Frowning more, "You wouldn't have liked me?"
"Oh no, I would have liked you a lot."
"Maybe I would have been too country boy for you to get along with off the field."
"If you had been in Chicago? I would have loved to show you around. Maybe sometimes just to see the surprise."
"That I wouldn't have minded, it's nice havin' someone who knows where they're goin' show you around."
"Maybe we would have gotten along."
Smiles, "You sound more flashy than when we did meet."
"Flashy might be a good word for it. I was much more impressed with myself than I am now."
Laughs, "I can't imagine this! You're one of the most modest people I know."
"And maybe by certain standards I still was, but by my own? I look back and shake my head at that kid. But Chicago was his city, regardless of if it was or not."
"You musta been very attractive, like a light attractin' fireflies on a summer evening, everybody buzzin' all around you."
"When you are twenty-four and Greg Maddux wants you to catch him, and you're in a city that you want to be in, it's very difficult to keep yourself in check all the time."
"When you got here that confidence was a lot more internal. It made it hard to argue with you, when you radiate this sense of knowin' what you're doin'. I woulda been more shy around that younger you."
"That is just what Chicago taught me. That it's much more prudent to simply know what you're doing than to need to show you know. It became so I didn't need to even think that I knew what I was doing, I just did it. That's the maturity that I'm glad you met."
"Which I'm glad I had on my side." Shakes his head, speaking to himself as much as Joe, "I would have been preenin' like peacock whenever you showed attention to me, I can see that easy."
Laughs to himself, "It would have been a lot."
"You would have been this put together guy, knowin' your way around Chicago, knowin' your way around the team. You'd be too cool to wanna hang with a kid from Deer Park."
"That would have been... do the math for me. How old were you in, say, '91?"
"I'd be turnin' 19 in June."
"That would have been very interesting."
"And I woulda been even younger and less experienced, I wasn't even married yet."
"I certainly would have enjoyed showing you around."
Running his hand over his arm, "You could have shown nineteen-year-old me a lot of things."
Glances over to him, "And I would have."
"I wouldn't have said no. You would have turned my head around so fast it'd be spinnin'."
"I can't help but wonder what that would have been like."
"It'd be different for sure. I wasn't married or a father, I had no responsibilities to anybody, but myself. I would have jumped at the chance to be with you."
"Would we have lasted?"
"I don't know. I don't think I could fall out of love with you. If you matured into the man I love today, I don't see how we couldn't have."
"But you know a butterfly flaps his wings in Mongolia and we're in a rain delay. How would we have been different? I don't want to change things, but I'd like to watch it, like a movie."
"If only there was a TV channel you could tune to, to watch these things."
"I would gladly subscribe to that one."
Laughs, "But you'd be usin' it to check up on all your managerial decisions, see if you made the right choices."
Grins, "Is that such a bad use?"
"I'd never see you again, you'd be glued to that thing."
"I've found my favourite way to watch anything is with you, so perhaps the better way to phrase that is no one would see either of us again."
"I don't think that's gonna work for my schedule, I had other plans for our free time which aren't you second guessin' yourself and breakin' down film from other timelines."
"Oh? What were your plans?"
"More relaxin' like."
"And watching film from other timelines doesn't sound relaxing to you?"
"No it sounds real passive and what I want from you is a lot more active. Relaxin', but active."
"Ah active relaxing." Putting the car in park, turning towards him. "I could certainly enjoy that."
"It looks like we're about to be real busy, but maybe later I can show you what I mean by that."
"After everyone goes to bed." Leans over to kiss him sweetly.
Returns the kiss, holding him there for a moment, "I love you."
Touches his cheek, taking a minute to just look at him, "I love you too."
"If you keep lookin' at me like that, I'm never gonna get inside the house. We'll end up sittin' here all night."
Smiles, "And you have to go charm my wife."
"Yeah, it would be wrong to let these flowers wilt." Ducks his head, smiling, before letting himself out of the car.
Laughs to himself, shaking his head. Leads him up to the house, unlocking the door to hear running footsteps and the announcement that's he's home delivered for him.
Steps inside, much more at ease with coming home here, carefully holding the bouquet so not to crush it.
Slides to a stop at their feet, grinning, "I've been practicing that!"
Laughs, "Just be careful not to slide into anything, otherwise it's lookin' good."
Runs after Dante, but on seeing Andy charges him, "Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Hugs his legs.
"How are you doin' Luke? You been behavin'?"
"We had like the best time. Dante is cool and he showed me catcher stuff and he throwed with me a lot, and I got to stay here and sleep in his room. And we had pancakes, they were good."
Jumps up to his feet, still grinning brilliantly at Joe, "I'm gonna make him a catcher, just like us!"
Laughs, "You're going to get me in trouble for that."
Holding her sister's hand, trying not to rush her. "Hi!"
Hurrying as fast as she can keep balance, squeaks at seeing them.
Leans down to pick Lena up, "I have to get my hugs in now before you throw me over for your favourite."
"He was gonna be a pitcher last week. Hi Serena, Lena, how are my girls doin'? And where is your mom hidin'?"
"Mm mm, catcher now!"
Hugs Joe but then turns to Andy, "Pick me up?"
"Did you read the books I gave you? And mom's in the kitchen."
Kisses Lena's cheek, "One minute, baby. Your daddy misses you. And yes I did read those books, can I get a hug from you?"
Pouts at him.
"Mmhmm." Steps around Luke to hug Andy. "We missed you-all."
Bends down to hug her tightly with his free arm, "We missed you too."
"Why do you have flowers?"
"Shh, they're for your mama."
Giggles, "Really? They're so pretty!"
"I'm glad one of the ladies in the house approves of 'em." Stands back up, "You said she's in the kitchen?"
Turns to Joe, hugging him too now that he's done with Andy.
"I'll show you." Takes his hand to lead him.
Crouches down with Lena to hug Luke, "Sounds like you had fun."
Grins at him, "Oh yeah, Uncle Joe. I really really really like your house."
Laughs a little, letting her pull him along.
Laughs, "I'm very glad you do."
Pats Luke, "We played!"
Leads him directly into the kitchen, "Mom, they're home!"
"Can I stay here more?"
"How is the lady of the house? I hope Luke didn't drive you too crazy."
"Would you like to?"
"We're doing well. He certainly is energetic." Laughs.
"Uh huh!" Takes his hand, "Wanna play games with us?"
Presents her with the flowers, "Thank you for takin' care of him. It was real nice being able to walk in here and see him."
Laughs, standing up again, "Let's check in first, then we can play."
"I'll play with you."
"Oh, they're beautiful." Takes the bouquet, kissing his cheek, "That's very sweet of you. We enjoyed having him here."
"You can play too, we'll all play together."
"Maybe that means you'll want to keep him around a few more weeks." Hugs her, "Everything you're doin' around here is appreciated."
"Thank you. It means a lot to hear that. We'd love to have him as long as you'd like. He's really no trouble." Grins, "And it gets me off the hook for not giving Dante a brother."
"I'm glad I could help you out there. I gotta pull my weight around here someway. Luke is enough for two little brothers."
Laughs, "He certainly does have enough energy to be." Fills a vase to display the flowers, "These really are lovely."
"I had some good advice about what kind to get you, though I was worried for a minute he might steer me wrong." Smiles, "But seein' how you like 'em, he did right by me."
"Even if you're trying to run off with my wife, I still wouldn't tell you wrong."
"I'm considering it, I'll have you know. I love a man that brings me flowers."
As soon as he's in reach, pats Andy's arm.
"You're gonna hurt your daddy's feelings, Lena. But I can't say no to a pretty girl." Takes her from him.
Smiles brightly, "Bye, Daddy." Snuggles in with Andy, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I like you, Dad."
Laughs, "Thank you. At least some of my children haven't thrown me over."
Rocks her in his arms, "I like your dad too, so he should still feel loved if we remember to tell him that often."
Slides an arm around Andy's waist, "So you've decided against running off with my wife?"
"I don't know how she feels about Texas. Would you like to go runnin' south of the border with me?"
"With someone as charming as you? I certainly am tempted."
Smiles, "It's real beautiful country. You could stretch out in the sun, be drinkin' those mixed drink they're famous for, listenin' to a live guitarist."
"I'm sold. We're running off now."
"Do you hear this, Joe? When's the last time you've takin' this woman on a vacation?"
"Last winter, I'll have you know."
"It was a very short winter. And now you're promising to give me another short one."
"It sounds like your lovely wife could use a spa day."
"If you weren't already married, I'd marry you."
"Oh, I have to be careful bringing you home. You charm all of my girls away from me."
"I'm just sayin' maybe I could watch the kids one day while we're at home, since I'm not allowed to play, give you a break."
"Uncle Joe are you gonna come play?"
"And I love that you're suggesting it. And any day you'd like, I will hand over the reins and they're all yours."
"Oh at least someone still likes me. What are we playing, Luke?"
Smiles, "Okay, I'll figure out which day I'm not workin' out in the bullpen." To Joe, "I still like you."
"Race cars, you can be the blue one. Do you know how to play video games?"
"I'm already looking forward to it."
"And that I'm very thankful for." To Luke, "I've been known to play a game or two."
Grins at him, "Did you play some when you were away?"
"No, I save up my video game playing for a home. Did you play while we were away?"
Nods, "Uh huh, 'cause I can't run around outside when it's dark. I have to be in here and then I can play 'em."
"That sounds like a good time for them. But you weren't staying up too late, were you?"
"Not too late. Just like a little bit late."
"A little bit is okay, as long as it's not all the time."
Takes his hand, "Did you stay up real late?"
"No, I can't because I have to get up in the morning and I don't want to be tired."
Tugs him toward the couch, "That's good, you don't wanna be a sleepy head. Do you go runnin'? Daddy always goes runnin'. I can't run that much yet, it makes me tired."
Goes along with him, "I do like to run in the morning, with your dad. We have to wait for him to heal up completely before he can run again."
"Can you run as much as him? He runs lots."
"Kim? Can I speak to you a minute?"
"I hope I'll still be able to keep up, but I don't know. I have old knees."
"Of course."
"Nuh uh, you don't have knees like grandpa, you're just like daddy."
"I know I've been on the road with Joe, and you haven't seen him all week. I was wonderin' what you wanna do tonight."
Chuckles, "If only that were true."
"I don't know what you mean."
"Well, I figure you been missin' him. I was hoggin' his time right before we left and I had him the whole road trip. Would you like him to spend tonight with you? I'd understand that."
"That's very sweet of you to ask. Were you planning on leaving?"
"No, I was just tryin' to sort out logistics, about if I was sleepin' alone in the guest room or not. Unless, you'd like me and Luke to go back to our house, give you some privacy."
Surprised, "Why would you be sleeping alone?"
Equally surprised, "Because Joe would be sleepin' with you?"
"Unless you've gotten into an argument, I don't foresee that happening."
"But...he's your husband. It's not fair for me to spend every night with him."
"Do you know how often Joe falls asleep on the couch with his notebooks and papers?"
Smiles, "I can picture that, you gotta pry him away from his work and even then he doesn't stop talkin' about it."
"I'm much too used to it. But somehow I believe you can get him to go to bed."
"Are you sure? I know I stepped in here as the outsider, and if you wanna let me know what days I get with Joe and what days you're callin' yours, I'm not gonna argue with you."
"I honestly don't want to make a schedule. Joe is happy sleeping with you and I don't mind it."
"Okay. Thank you, I was worried 'cause I didn't know what your routine was. If you're used to havin' some alone time when he comes home from the road or what."
"You don't need to worry." Offers him one of the carrots she's cutting up. "How will Laura be in that situation?"
Takes it, "She was more worried about me spendin' enough time with the kids. It sort of worked itself out, seein' as Roger had times he wanted to spend at his house and then this time of year both our wives were in Texas. I've never done it like this before. We never lived under the same roof."
"And is that how you see next season being?"
Frowns, "I don't honestly know. I'm used to like the kids goin' back and forth. Lord knows we had enough sleepovers and the like, but..." Frowns more, "I guess I never really thought about this kinda decision before. Maybe I should have, but I was happy goin' along with whatever."
"Do you like the going back and forth? Do you like having your own house apart?"
"I don't really feel the need to have my own space, no. I've liked this a lot, comin' through the door and seein' not only Luke but all of these ones as well." Kisses Lena's hair, "Havin' everybody all together sounds nice to me. I don't know how Laura'd feel about that though."
"Would you like me to talk to her about it?"
"I wouldn't mind you talkin' to her. I think we'll be havin' a sit down too, but she might have concerns it'd be easier to express to you instead of me. It's not like I'm here to see what goes on, when I'm on the road."
"I've been thinking about this a lot, having Luke here with us while you've been on the road. You know this is even more new to us because we've never had anything even similar in this family. But I loved having him here, he fit in seemlessly. I find that I'm looking forward to it. I'll talk to Laura, though, and see her views on this as well."
"For someone who's never been in this situation, you've been a real angel about it. Handlin' it better than I think anyone else could."
"I've had a lot of time to think about how I would react once it happened. And after all these years, I'm just so grateful it did happen, that however it works out, I'm okay with. And that's because I know you'll be this respectful about it."
"I'm tryin' my best. Did you always know this would happen? Can ask, did y'all talk about it or did you just know to expect it before he said anything?"
"I've known how he feels about you since the beginning, I saw it all over his face every time he talked about you. I've always known that you would find your way to each other, but Joe can be very stubborn."
Nods, "Laura figured things out long before I did and she'd put some thought behind things too." Frowns, "That..." Pauses, trying to find the proper words, "Seein' that, I hope it didn't cause you any heartache."
"I've all but pleaded with him to talk to you about it. But after '99, he wouldn't even listen. I'm glad you're together now."
"I've come to believe that the heart has a lot of room in it, enough to encompass a commitment to more than one person. I used to think like most people that it'd be cheatin', but it's not that at all. It's not guilt, or shame, or sneakin' behind people's backs, hurtin' 'em because you're not a big enough person to let 'em know there's somebody else in your life. It's just openin' yourself up to be able to receive more of that beautiful gift, and bein' able to give it yourself. I love Joe and I promise when he's with me I'll care for him just as if I were the one married to him."
Stops what she's doing to watch him while he's talking. "I could listen to you all day, you're very free and open about what you feel and how you've learned. I'm very amazed by that. And even more grateful that you'll be a part of our family because I can trust you mean everything that you say. I know that I won't have to feel like an intruder in my home."
Horrified, "No--I'd never. This is your house, if I'm ever actin' like that I hope you smack me hard, 'cause I would deserve it. I just want us to have a way of both bein' happy around each other and with Joe."
"I believe that I'll never have to smack you. I know this will work as smoothly as it has been."
"I meant it about takin' the kids off your hands when I could. You got the harder job, rasin' them. Baseball is easy in comparison."
Smiles, "And I meant it about taking you up on that anytime you want to. I love them dearly but I wouldn't mind a day off once in a while."
"You're a really special woman, Joe is lucky to have you. I feel lucky. I hope...Is it okay if I think of you as family too?"
"Thank you. I would like that." Walks over to hug him, "I really am glad you've figured yourselves out."
Hugs her back, careful of Lena, smiling, "The road trip helped us sort some things. I feel like this big weight’s lifted off me. No, more like a baby bird that's gone tumblin' out of the nest with its heart thumpin' terrified it's gonna hit the ground, only to discover what those wings it was born with were for. Bein' able to say I love him is like that. I had all these worries that didn't have a thing to do with him, and now, I feel the most at peace I've been since...well since three years ago. And I'm startin' to suspect, maybe a little more so than back then."
"That's a beautiful way to describe it." Looks at him, petting Lena's hair, "I think comparing this to your previous relationship may not be the best idea."
"I'm sorry, if you'd rather I not mention it at all, I can do that. It's not that I'm lookin' for a replacement or anything. Sometimes it's hard not to reference it because it seems like I spent a good chunk of my adulthood in that relationship."
"I don't want you to get the impression that I don't want you to mention him, because that's not at all what I'm saying. I just don't want you to set yourself up to think that this will be like that, because you're dealing with very different people."
"Oh, I do know that. Sometimes I know it more than other times. I got a completely different kinda connection with Joe and sometimes, like it takes bein' in a situation to realise how I woulda acted before don't work here. It's not that I'm on autopilot, but..." Sighs, frustrated with his inability to explain to his satisfaction, "I met Roger when I was twenty-five and he was so much older than me. He had so much life experience that I wanted to suck up like a sponge. I could just sit and listen to him. And then I spent nine years with him, and you spend nine years with anybody and you're gonna fall into certain habits, habits you don't even realise you do. Now with Joe, maybe 'cause I'm with in particular, I guess I can see some of those things as habits for the first time and it can be hard realisin' that won't work with him and then sometimes it can be exhiliratin' because it works a lot better than I coulda imagined."
"I can see you've done a lot of thinking about this and that eases my concerns. It's not that I expect you to change your ways, unless you think they need to be changed, I just want to hear that you're thinking about whether they need to be or not."
"It could use more thinkin honestly. Livin' day to day with Joe this past week has shown me that. It's more that something will happen with Joe and the wheels in my head'll start turnin'. Like the way he's willin' to listen to me. You'd think after fourteen years of friendship that'd be something I would know is a given with him no matter what kinda relationship we have. It's not that Roger didn't listen. I can't say that when layin' out why he should come out of retirement got him to play with me in Houston, but with Roger when he disagreed with you that was it. End of the argument. Discussion over. And if you tried to bring it up again, well, he'd feel hurt. He couldn't understand why you'd disagree with him, he took in personal like. But with Joe, I know even if he disagrees, if I want to talk about something again he's gonna listen to me and be reasonable about it. There's just those things you smooth over after a while because you love someone and it's not worth complainin' about. With Joe, it's all brandnew, and maybe sometimes I gotta remind myself of that. That if we run into any potholes, I don't gotta just smooth 'em over. We got a clean start here to find our own way and make our own mistakes."
"And I hope you're not afraid to make those mistakes. I'm sure I don't need to tell you this after fourteen years, but he is very patient and this will all be a process for both of you. No matter how much he'd like to be, he won't be perfect at this either."
"I'm sure he's told you, I'm the one known for bein' the perfectionist. It's his job to remind me when that's bein' unreasonable."
"I've yet to meet a ballplayer that doesn't try to be perfect most of the time."
Smiles, "You must hang around too many pitchers."
Laughs, "So I've been told. A family curse, I suppose."
"Where catchers are, pitchers will gather." Laughs.
Smiles, shaking her head, "And I have twenty years behind a catcher."
"Most of my friends are pitches, makin' it hard to apologize for that."
"Lucky I'm not looking for an apology." Smiles at him.
"Then I am lucky. Do you think I should put her to bed?"
"What time is it?"
"It's gotta be gettin' late. I'd guess around nine, but I can't reach my phone."
"No wonder she's out. If you wouldn't mind bringing her upstairs."
"I don't mind at all." Begins to walk out, then pauses, "Kim, do you know 1st Corinthians chapter 13? That's what I've come to think of, when I think of your husband."
"I'll make a point to look that up."
Nods to her, continuing towards the stairs, "Lets put you to bed, baby girl."
Watches them for a minute before going to the shelf. Searches through their bible, sitting down to read what he suggested. Smiling as she does so.
The next morning…
While his spot in the bed is no longer occupied next to Joe, on top of his pillow rests his Bible, open to first Corinthians. A few lines in particular highlighted: If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Reads over the highlighted words many times, more touched than he could find words for in the moment. Doesn't make mention of it until later at the park where Andy will find a note taped in his stall, written in a familiar hand:
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.