My Baby.
I. Miss. You.
Every day that goes by doesn't get easier...it only gets harder, and pulls my heart deeper into a void. You may have "just" been a dog, but you were MY dog...MY Baby. I can't tell you how much I miss you...but I know you see it...as you sit next to me, and watch me, and fall asleep on the couch near me...you can see it on my face and in the tears I still weep for you. I know you're here, I can feel you, and see you out of the corner of my eye. I will never forget.
I cannot wait for the day when I can be with you again, and touch you, and feel that soft fur, and look into your beautiful, deep brown, unconditional love filled eyes.
The days drag, and my nights are restless, because you aren't here to make me laugh, and smile. You relied on me, and loved me as much as I, you. And you held on, and fought, until I knew I could tell you to go. I cannot imagine the pain in your little body, but you held on, for, me. I hope you stay by my side, and know that I feel you there.
I can't tell you the horrible guilt, and anger I have for myself. The what if's I keep asking myself. It was not your time. And I'll never forgive myself for not trying more routes, and fighting harder. That will be a regret I take to my grave. I know you've forgiven me, you probably never even blamed me. They say guilt is a part of the grieving process...it is an emotion that I don't want when it comes to you. I wanted you to die old, and peaceful. Hopefully while you slept soundly in my lap, kicking your little paws as you ran in a dream, chasing some bird into the woods. You didn't even get to see 3 years. You started life so hard, and I rescued you, promised to save you and make it better, I only got to for such a short time.
I wish every day for you to come back. If I had it to do all over, I would try harder, push harder, fight more, right along side you. I would not tell you it was ok, I would not let you cross that bridge without a fight. So now Maharhet and I get by. We push through the days, and she sulks and misses you. Just as much as me. We will get through this her and I, together, because we know you're here with us still. But, don't think I will ever forget, replace, or let go of you.
I love you my Baby girl...and though I know you're not in a "better" place, what place could be better than with those you love, I know you're by my side.
Every day that goes by doesn't get easier...it only gets harder, and pulls my heart deeper into a void. You may have "just" been a dog, but you were MY dog...MY Baby. I can't tell you how much I miss you...but I know you see it...as you sit next to me, and watch me, and fall asleep on the couch near me...you can see it on my face and in the tears I still weep for you. I know you're here, I can feel you, and see you out of the corner of my eye. I will never forget.
I cannot wait for the day when I can be with you again, and touch you, and feel that soft fur, and look into your beautiful, deep brown, unconditional love filled eyes.
The days drag, and my nights are restless, because you aren't here to make me laugh, and smile. You relied on me, and loved me as much as I, you. And you held on, and fought, until I knew I could tell you to go. I cannot imagine the pain in your little body, but you held on, for, me. I hope you stay by my side, and know that I feel you there.
I can't tell you the horrible guilt, and anger I have for myself. The what if's I keep asking myself. It was not your time. And I'll never forgive myself for not trying more routes, and fighting harder. That will be a regret I take to my grave. I know you've forgiven me, you probably never even blamed me. They say guilt is a part of the grieving process...it is an emotion that I don't want when it comes to you. I wanted you to die old, and peaceful. Hopefully while you slept soundly in my lap, kicking your little paws as you ran in a dream, chasing some bird into the woods. You didn't even get to see 3 years. You started life so hard, and I rescued you, promised to save you and make it better, I only got to for such a short time.
I wish every day for you to come back. If I had it to do all over, I would try harder, push harder, fight more, right along side you. I would not tell you it was ok, I would not let you cross that bridge without a fight. So now Maharhet and I get by. We push through the days, and she sulks and misses you. Just as much as me. We will get through this her and I, together, because we know you're here with us still. But, don't think I will ever forget, replace, or let go of you.
I love you my Baby girl...and though I know you're not in a "better" place, what place could be better than with those you love, I know you're by my side.