same day different decade
I told you, I have a map of the night sky tatooed on the inside of my skin. ~ Graham Joyce
I have recently began to wonder about the status of my beliefs. I have taken to walking long, aimless blocks under the night sky, pondering the reality/nonreality of god or gods or anything that is actually there, looking down on me; helping me, judging me, moving me about on a chess board. I have began to doubt that everything happens for a reason...my all time favorite comfort food. I have lost my faith in writing. I have lost my faith in music. I have lost my faith in friends. I have lost my faith in self. But I have never lost my belief that we are guided by some cosmic destiny, that karma is real, that good people win in the end, that life has meaning. Lately though, I trip easily on the cracks in my road, and when I fall and scrape my knees, the blood reminds me that it may all be for nothing.
But then I try and remember the pieces of life that had no rhyme or reason, yet simply fit perfectly. I try to remember sitting by the ocean in a grey misty fog, listening to the waves beat out endlessly. I try to remember a smile from a stranger, a song that touched my soul. I try to replace the bad with the good, and wonder if that isn't meaning enough, then what is?
I listen to the rain drops and hope for reason.
I have recently began to wonder about the status of my beliefs. I have taken to walking long, aimless blocks under the night sky, pondering the reality/nonreality of god or gods or anything that is actually there, looking down on me; helping me, judging me, moving me about on a chess board. I have began to doubt that everything happens for a reason...my all time favorite comfort food. I have lost my faith in writing. I have lost my faith in music. I have lost my faith in friends. I have lost my faith in self. But I have never lost my belief that we are guided by some cosmic destiny, that karma is real, that good people win in the end, that life has meaning. Lately though, I trip easily on the cracks in my road, and when I fall and scrape my knees, the blood reminds me that it may all be for nothing.
But then I try and remember the pieces of life that had no rhyme or reason, yet simply fit perfectly. I try to remember sitting by the ocean in a grey misty fog, listening to the waves beat out endlessly. I try to remember a smile from a stranger, a song that touched my soul. I try to replace the bad with the good, and wonder if that isn't meaning enough, then what is?
I listen to the rain drops and hope for reason.