(no subject)
Time for a real update...
This weekend was spent with my family. Strange and endearing and broken in so many ways, but still a unit. My nephew and sister came down from Lubbock and we went to the carnival on Friday night. Just seeing his eyes light up at all of the machinery, watching his little 4 year old body try to get on the biggest rides, and filling with tears when denied access to the gravity defying GRAVITRON. He has the heart of a lion. When forced to ride the kiddie rides, he looked out at me with the bored look of one who has seen to much, and says, Aunt Les, this doesn't move too fast, but I'm not getting anywhere. I laughed and hugged him knowingly as a kindred spirit, who knows the danger of moving but not getting anywhere.
Saturday night was the rodeo. 10 minutes into it, I was crying. There is nothing stranger than a chick with too much black eyeliner crying in a crowd of a thousands that are cheering. I can't explain it. The whole process just made me sick to my stomach. The way they tie the harness too tight, thereby forcing the horses and bulls to buck. The steer roping. The cries of pain from the animals. It really upset me. Now I know, I'm just a liberal hippie chick with way too much empathy, and I know that those animals are their money and are relatively well taken care of, but the whole experience just left my heart hurting. I hated it. I will never go to one of those ever again.
And now I prepare to start my new job. Scrambling for clothes that are appropriate. Wondering how it is you pack small enough for the road, but still have 3 weeks worth of clothes. Wondering if this new adventure will be the one I don't run away from. But the ribbons of highways and byways that cross this land are somehow carved in my blood, and I can't wait to see what they hold. Maybe I'll go to Graceland, just to say I've been. Maybe I will find purpose and meaning, and learn to leave my past behind. Maybe I will just sit, staring out the window at the landscapes, and read or write. And just keep moving on. Never stopping long enough to put down any real roots. Never enough to grow anything of value. But somedays, I think it will be enough just to see the world and experience it, even if it is like a radio on scan. Just enough time to hear the song, so that it get stuck in my brain, but not enough time to overplay it into boredom.
This weekend was spent with my family. Strange and endearing and broken in so many ways, but still a unit. My nephew and sister came down from Lubbock and we went to the carnival on Friday night. Just seeing his eyes light up at all of the machinery, watching his little 4 year old body try to get on the biggest rides, and filling with tears when denied access to the gravity defying GRAVITRON. He has the heart of a lion. When forced to ride the kiddie rides, he looked out at me with the bored look of one who has seen to much, and says, Aunt Les, this doesn't move too fast, but I'm not getting anywhere. I laughed and hugged him knowingly as a kindred spirit, who knows the danger of moving but not getting anywhere.
Saturday night was the rodeo. 10 minutes into it, I was crying. There is nothing stranger than a chick with too much black eyeliner crying in a crowd of a thousands that are cheering. I can't explain it. The whole process just made me sick to my stomach. The way they tie the harness too tight, thereby forcing the horses and bulls to buck. The steer roping. The cries of pain from the animals. It really upset me. Now I know, I'm just a liberal hippie chick with way too much empathy, and I know that those animals are their money and are relatively well taken care of, but the whole experience just left my heart hurting. I hated it. I will never go to one of those ever again.
And now I prepare to start my new job. Scrambling for clothes that are appropriate. Wondering how it is you pack small enough for the road, but still have 3 weeks worth of clothes. Wondering if this new adventure will be the one I don't run away from. But the ribbons of highways and byways that cross this land are somehow carved in my blood, and I can't wait to see what they hold. Maybe I'll go to Graceland, just to say I've been. Maybe I will find purpose and meaning, and learn to leave my past behind. Maybe I will just sit, staring out the window at the landscapes, and read or write. And just keep moving on. Never stopping long enough to put down any real roots. Never enough to grow anything of value. But somedays, I think it will be enough just to see the world and experience it, even if it is like a radio on scan. Just enough time to hear the song, so that it get stuck in my brain, but not enough time to overplay it into boredom.