Reflections
You know...sometimes I feel like my shyness and introverted personality is such a curse! Though, I suppose I can't complain because I've grown so much this past year. I've longed to be like those who I admire (those who are smarter, more talented, prettier, more out going, funny, likable) but somehow I'm not really like that so it makes me sad. I'm fine in small groups and one-on-one conversation but when it comes to groups I tend to be the quiet listener. I have yet to know if this is bad or good but when I get disappointed in myself or discontent...its hard for me to focus on work. I royally just wasted 3 hours when I should be studying and doing hw because I can't seem to focus. I'm hoping that writing will help me push the feeling inside. In truth, this self pity comes and goes and when it does go...I'm a very happy Maivy. I'm happy to say that I'm more often happy than sad...you see, I'm also a painfully optimistic person. When it comes down to it though...I am happy about who I am because I don't put a show on for anybody. I suppose that when I try too hard, I get even more disappointed in myself so I shouldn't. Actually, maybe thats my problem. Every time I try too hard, I get disappointed and discontent and its not like I do it intentionally...sometimes it just kind of happens.
On another note, culture night was tiring but fun. It was the first time I broke out of my shell that much, hehe. When it came to it, I didn't freeze like I was afraid I would. I really wanted to get the walk right but I think I didn't quite pull it off the way I wanted. *sigh* But on a much brighter note, Mymy was right about the bonding part. I met a lot of friends through my experience with culture night :)
What's up with the romance theme all over the place all of a sudden? I'm not kidding. First it was Winter Sonata, then we're learning about relationships in vietnamese. It might've started with Kim Samsoon though. There are couples everywhere. My youngest sister just got another admirer. Korean dramas make the hopeless romantic in me come out big time -_- At random times...I wonder about what Mr. Right will be like...then sometimes I'm afraid I would never meet him or that he doesn't exist. But the optimist in me tells me he's out there somewhere. So..he's out there somewhere.
On a much broader picture, I'm actually content with my life and myself. 99% of the time I'm happy being who I am. The past couple weeks have been great but it just happens that I'm been on the down side these past few days. I should look at everything and just forget about everything bad. I'm in love with the new music dvds! My family is awesome! School work is going great! My research paper is going somewhere! I LOVE BEING ME! ...and Mr. Right needs to love me for me anyway :D
hehe I love how I can just change my mood with the right things. I'm listening to a good song right now and I've just written most of everything that has been bugging me and I feel relieved. So I want to make a post-birthday resolution: always be myself and not care so much about what people think about me :)
Here goes, I'm green tea-ed and ready to go back to work.
On another note, culture night was tiring but fun. It was the first time I broke out of my shell that much, hehe. When it came to it, I didn't freeze like I was afraid I would. I really wanted to get the walk right but I think I didn't quite pull it off the way I wanted. *sigh* But on a much brighter note, Mymy was right about the bonding part. I met a lot of friends through my experience with culture night :)
What's up with the romance theme all over the place all of a sudden? I'm not kidding. First it was Winter Sonata, then we're learning about relationships in vietnamese. It might've started with Kim Samsoon though. There are couples everywhere. My youngest sister just got another admirer. Korean dramas make the hopeless romantic in me come out big time -_- At random times...I wonder about what Mr. Right will be like...then sometimes I'm afraid I would never meet him or that he doesn't exist. But the optimist in me tells me he's out there somewhere. So..he's out there somewhere.
On a much broader picture, I'm actually content with my life and myself. 99% of the time I'm happy being who I am. The past couple weeks have been great but it just happens that I'm been on the down side these past few days. I should look at everything and just forget about everything bad. I'm in love with the new music dvds! My family is awesome! School work is going great! My research paper is going somewhere! I LOVE BEING ME! ...and Mr. Right needs to love me for me anyway :D
hehe I love how I can just change my mood with the right things. I'm listening to a good song right now and I've just written most of everything that has been bugging me and I feel relieved. So I want to make a post-birthday resolution: always be myself and not care so much about what people think about me :)
Here goes, I'm green tea-ed and ready to go back to work.