llllllets get ready to rrrrrrrrrumbleeeee.
i cant take it anymore i wanna type this shit in caps just cuz i feel like screaming it...i hate where i am right now...in every way...i cant make enough fucking money to afford living where i do so every second im here im just oweing people...not just people....my friends and fucking family more and more and more i hate working as much as i do i hate the fact that i feel so fucking absolutely useless in the grand scheme of things i hate that its so hard to have fun anymore, well scratch that its so EASY cuz all i have to so is watch tv with one of my friends and i can consider that fun...because of how fucking bad everything else is...i hate that alot of my other friends are feeling this way too but what the fuck can any of us do about it...i know i should just man the fuck up and realize that this is fucking all im gonna have...for the rest of my life...working whatever fucking job will hire me...for whatever minimum wage is at the time...to barely get by with rent and car insurance and all that shit...and just dig my self deeper in debt with friends and shit...like AH i cant even explain this feeling...its like a void...and theres no way i can think of to fucking fix it...i wish i could read books or comics or watch tv or movies or play dnd all the fucking time to just escape this horrible nothingness reality...like SD said we need a fucking cause...but theres no fucking motivation for me to do the shit i do the only reason i work as much as i do is cuz i dont wanna bring the people around me down any more than i already have...in like 20 or so fucking years if im not dead im gonna be one of those douchebags shitting in the goddamned subway....cuz ive decided fuck misfortune and all that shit...you only get that low because YOU fucked up and couldnt fix it...and thats right where im headed...at least everybody is fucking miserable and un happy in college where they actually may be forming some sort of future for themselves...but no not me im goin through this daily hell for no other reason cept to do it again the next day...i mean dont get me wrong theres some fun times in between...but im fucking DYING.