(no subject)
[dictated. Stream of consciousness mostly]
So yesterday was coming out all day all over Facebook. And I thought about what if anything I wanted to say, and the short form is that I suppose there's all matter of things I could say, but none of the memes fit, and I don't really want to tell Facebook all about me. And there's various and sundry labels I could apply that I suppose under a number of definitions would put me under the umbrella of queer (srsly, since ace seems to count it would seem demisexual counts, but it certainly seems odd to Come Out about not being particularly interested in sex with someone without first knowing them) and then there's the bit about how I go to queer dance events as Ally (so throw a couple bucks in the kitty and don't join the drawing for the dance shoe stick on soles) And then I'm like hey wait a second I've fallen for a gal in the past I've made out with gals I find women attractive boobiesexual is a thing I don't think I have to be motivated to put my face in someone's bits for it to count as being attracted and then somewhere in there is kink and now there's that Ace spectrum
. . . And yet, it both feels inappropriate to call myself queer (I'm not looking for a girlfriend at QT fusion) and inaccurate to post one of those memes saying I'm not any of these things but I'm posting on coming out day because yay everybody else.
Someone posted something about gray ace and I don't even know what that means. It just dawned on me that biromantic meant that that person was good with being romantic with other or their gender; I was trying to make it work with Demi.
So I kind of understand that all the labels have utility in that they're a way of conceptualizing and contextualizing stuff about oneself as well as realizing that there are others out there who are similar.
I need to figure out what to do with the day today and I really shouldn't keep babbling at a screen.
I think maybe I'm just starting to get more annoyed about it feeling like getting under the queer umbrella is misrepresenting myself but so is staying on the outside as 'cis/straight.'
Or maybe I'm annoyed that on coming out day, I've gotten more reminders than usual that I both am and am not queer. (Despite being somewhat flummoxed by the ACE axis being relevant.)
I'm sure some of it is that there were a few posts out there which specifically included something about 'cis/het people, shut up' in the intro, prompting thoughts of where the cred is in certain spaces, along with thinking about how publicity about oneself is the price of admission.
Maybe it was a similar feeling to watching the drawing for the shoe thingies, and not wanting the shoe thingies anyway, but feeling excluded by my own lack of claiming the status.
I really should stop babbling at the phone.
I have a few friends who read my public posts and do not use a dw login.
Especially since this is stream of consciousness and I can only see about 50 words at a time I'll probably friends protect this later.
This entry was originally posted at https://vvalkyri.dreamwidth.org/1712735.html. You can add to the
comments there using OpenID, or here is okay too.
So yesterday was coming out all day all over Facebook. And I thought about what if anything I wanted to say, and the short form is that I suppose there's all matter of things I could say, but none of the memes fit, and I don't really want to tell Facebook all about me. And there's various and sundry labels I could apply that I suppose under a number of definitions would put me under the umbrella of queer (srsly, since ace seems to count it would seem demisexual counts, but it certainly seems odd to Come Out about not being particularly interested in sex with someone without first knowing them) and then there's the bit about how I go to queer dance events as Ally (so throw a couple bucks in the kitty and don't join the drawing for the dance shoe stick on soles) And then I'm like hey wait a second I've fallen for a gal in the past I've made out with gals I find women attractive boobiesexual is a thing I don't think I have to be motivated to put my face in someone's bits for it to count as being attracted and then somewhere in there is kink and now there's that Ace spectrum
. . . And yet, it both feels inappropriate to call myself queer (I'm not looking for a girlfriend at QT fusion) and inaccurate to post one of those memes saying I'm not any of these things but I'm posting on coming out day because yay everybody else.
Someone posted something about gray ace and I don't even know what that means. It just dawned on me that biromantic meant that that person was good with being romantic with other or their gender; I was trying to make it work with Demi.
So I kind of understand that all the labels have utility in that they're a way of conceptualizing and contextualizing stuff about oneself as well as realizing that there are others out there who are similar.
I need to figure out what to do with the day today and I really shouldn't keep babbling at a screen.
I think maybe I'm just starting to get more annoyed about it feeling like getting under the queer umbrella is misrepresenting myself but so is staying on the outside as 'cis/straight.'
Or maybe I'm annoyed that on coming out day, I've gotten more reminders than usual that I both am and am not queer. (Despite being somewhat flummoxed by the ACE axis being relevant.)
I'm sure some of it is that there were a few posts out there which specifically included something about 'cis/het people, shut up' in the intro, prompting thoughts of where the cred is in certain spaces, along with thinking about how publicity about oneself is the price of admission.
Maybe it was a similar feeling to watching the drawing for the shoe thingies, and not wanting the shoe thingies anyway, but feeling excluded by my own lack of claiming the status.
I really should stop babbling at the phone.
I have a few friends who read my public posts and do not use a dw login.
Especially since this is stream of consciousness and I can only see about 50 words at a time I'll probably friends protect this later.
This entry was originally posted at https://vvalkyri.dreamwidth.org/1712735.html. You can add to the
comments there using OpenID, or here is okay too.