(no subject)
my second full day at sacred space has so far gone extremely well. i have eaten very consciously, moderately, and patiently. 100% raw.
sophie came in, the girl that i'm going to be doing art therapy on. we're doing the sauna detox together, basically, 3 hours of sauna a day for one month. she's really sweet, shy, and in general someone i feel like i'm going to give more energy to than get. but isn't that within my control as well? it'll be a good opportunity for me to practice healthy communication.
sophie and i went to a kung fu breathing class today, which was an INTENSELY UNPLEASANT experience for me. breathing styles that i was totally not accustomed to and did not trust. i put up a huge amount of resistance the entire time. we had to hold our breaths for long periods of time, and whether my body was flooded with toxins and carbon dioxide, or i was releasing anxiety and tension, i'm not sure... but by the end i was sobbing and extremely emotional.
we have to go back next week.
i also cleaned the upstairs kitchen of SS for four hours, i put my heart and soul into the work i did and the kitchen is now SATTVIC. the raw foods chef who's going to be training me, Spruce, is awesome (i swear i met him and his partner and little baby at the rainbow in costa rica).
seriously sacred space is a rainbow gathering. all shared reference points.
it's now getting dark... i'm a little lonely here, but mostly because i still don't have a cell phone and so i can't call ethan or my parents.
so far, sacred space is a lot easier and a lot harder than i thought. easier in that i am LIVING IN A PARADISE. this place is really my home. i have my own room (loft) above the yoga studio, i'm free to chill in the living room.. make tea whenever i want, the kitchen is like totally mine (it is a full on kitchen, stocked floor to ceiling with raw organic fruits and vegetables, every spice and supplement and exotic raw cooking ingredient in existence, PLUS a blender, food processor, dehydrator, juicer, nut butter maker (so we can make frozen banana ice cream... remember ethan??))...
we're even ordering a bunch of durians!!
so far the "work" i've been doing here is no much more work than i would need to do to manage my own house or apartment. i maintain the place to my own standards, which easily comes out to 4 hours a day or more. but my relationship with anusha (the owner) is so relaxed and mutually trusting that i don't feel like i'm at work at all. i can use the sauna whenever i want, there is constantly the sound of falling water from the garden... here we drink "structured water", the highest quality water available, which is water that has been exposed to the energy of the sun for 5-8 hours, so that the molecules have time to reorganize into sacred geometry after being damaged and distressed from tons of underground undercity pipe flowing.
i'm learning a lot here.
plus there is a HUGE library of health and holistic-oriented books to read, plus videos...
the challenge, i think, is being willing to accept the time and space to heal myself, as odd as it might sound. basically this place contains EVERY tool i need to not only heal myself completely from bulimia, but also become skilled and knowledgable in the healing arts enough to make a living, AND be extremely successful, not to mention cosmic and making atom-bomb impacts of health on all those around me. i'm not kidding. this place is an oasis of awareness, and i am here stuck in it wondering what the hell to do.
wa he guru, and prayers, prayers, prayers that i will use these gifts gracefully and not run away.....
sophie came in, the girl that i'm going to be doing art therapy on. we're doing the sauna detox together, basically, 3 hours of sauna a day for one month. she's really sweet, shy, and in general someone i feel like i'm going to give more energy to than get. but isn't that within my control as well? it'll be a good opportunity for me to practice healthy communication.
sophie and i went to a kung fu breathing class today, which was an INTENSELY UNPLEASANT experience for me. breathing styles that i was totally not accustomed to and did not trust. i put up a huge amount of resistance the entire time. we had to hold our breaths for long periods of time, and whether my body was flooded with toxins and carbon dioxide, or i was releasing anxiety and tension, i'm not sure... but by the end i was sobbing and extremely emotional.
we have to go back next week.
i also cleaned the upstairs kitchen of SS for four hours, i put my heart and soul into the work i did and the kitchen is now SATTVIC. the raw foods chef who's going to be training me, Spruce, is awesome (i swear i met him and his partner and little baby at the rainbow in costa rica).
seriously sacred space is a rainbow gathering. all shared reference points.
it's now getting dark... i'm a little lonely here, but mostly because i still don't have a cell phone and so i can't call ethan or my parents.
so far, sacred space is a lot easier and a lot harder than i thought. easier in that i am LIVING IN A PARADISE. this place is really my home. i have my own room (loft) above the yoga studio, i'm free to chill in the living room.. make tea whenever i want, the kitchen is like totally mine (it is a full on kitchen, stocked floor to ceiling with raw organic fruits and vegetables, every spice and supplement and exotic raw cooking ingredient in existence, PLUS a blender, food processor, dehydrator, juicer, nut butter maker (so we can make frozen banana ice cream... remember ethan??))...
we're even ordering a bunch of durians!!
so far the "work" i've been doing here is no much more work than i would need to do to manage my own house or apartment. i maintain the place to my own standards, which easily comes out to 4 hours a day or more. but my relationship with anusha (the owner) is so relaxed and mutually trusting that i don't feel like i'm at work at all. i can use the sauna whenever i want, there is constantly the sound of falling water from the garden... here we drink "structured water", the highest quality water available, which is water that has been exposed to the energy of the sun for 5-8 hours, so that the molecules have time to reorganize into sacred geometry after being damaged and distressed from tons of underground undercity pipe flowing.
i'm learning a lot here.
plus there is a HUGE library of health and holistic-oriented books to read, plus videos...
the challenge, i think, is being willing to accept the time and space to heal myself, as odd as it might sound. basically this place contains EVERY tool i need to not only heal myself completely from bulimia, but also become skilled and knowledgable in the healing arts enough to make a living, AND be extremely successful, not to mention cosmic and making atom-bomb impacts of health on all those around me. i'm not kidding. this place is an oasis of awareness, and i am here stuck in it wondering what the hell to do.
wa he guru, and prayers, prayers, prayers that i will use these gifts gracefully and not run away.....