Urgh
I feel a bit weird posting twice in one day, but Mum said I should write out my feelings to help me get them off my chest, and so I shall.
I've had depression on and off since I was 17, and tonight I feel worse than usual. I think Katie's comment didn't help much. She was complaining about how the budgies are always noisy in the morning, and then said she wished they'd die. She also said that I don't look after them, when I do. I love my budgies, and I always do my best to take care of them! I wish Katie wasn't always so mean to them, and to me in general. Sometimes she can be really nice, and then we always get along perfectly, but other times she can be so mean. She takes her frustrations out on everyone else, and takes so many things personally, when they're not meant that way. I'm not even sure what I'm doing wrong to make her be so mean to me, but whatever it is, I wish she'd just stop and leave me alone.
I know there are other factors to my depression, but I'm not entirely sure what they are right now. I think my anxiety and the fact that I'm prone to panic attacks aren't helping, and neither is the fact that I'm housebound a lot, since I need my parents with me when I'm out in case I panic or get lost. I just want to get better, but no one seems to be able to help me. I applied for a referral to the local mental health care services, but that was last August, and they still haven't gotten back to me. I feel helpless and at my wit's end, and totally invisible since everyone else seems focused solely on Katie's problems. No matter how bad it gets, I'd never do anything dangerous, but I still wish that someone would hurry up and help me, just so that I wouldn't have to feel so absolutely horrible all the time.
I've had depression on and off since I was 17, and tonight I feel worse than usual. I think Katie's comment didn't help much. She was complaining about how the budgies are always noisy in the morning, and then said she wished they'd die. She also said that I don't look after them, when I do. I love my budgies, and I always do my best to take care of them! I wish Katie wasn't always so mean to them, and to me in general. Sometimes she can be really nice, and then we always get along perfectly, but other times she can be so mean. She takes her frustrations out on everyone else, and takes so many things personally, when they're not meant that way. I'm not even sure what I'm doing wrong to make her be so mean to me, but whatever it is, I wish she'd just stop and leave me alone.
I know there are other factors to my depression, but I'm not entirely sure what they are right now. I think my anxiety and the fact that I'm prone to panic attacks aren't helping, and neither is the fact that I'm housebound a lot, since I need my parents with me when I'm out in case I panic or get lost. I just want to get better, but no one seems to be able to help me. I applied for a referral to the local mental health care services, but that was last August, and they still haven't gotten back to me. I feel helpless and at my wit's end, and totally invisible since everyone else seems focused solely on Katie's problems. No matter how bad it gets, I'd never do anything dangerous, but I still wish that someone would hurry up and help me, just so that I wouldn't have to feel so absolutely horrible all the time.