December 21st from the perspective of the 22nd through Today
You act as though I should be surprised
I'm not that foolish, my dear.
Either this was calculated
Or I merely fell off the map in two weeks time.
Was it embarrassment, my dear?
Do your remember when we talked on the phone
What you said--what your roommate said?
No, it's not surprising what's transpired now.
I gathered thoughts and wrote letters
You only seemed to think once you were drunk and lonely.
And it was always about you and why I loved you
I asked for nothing, and, as such, got nothing in return,
So, you have my dignity, and I have a few kind words.
I figured you just weren't that open...
Oh...you're not good at blow jobs?
Erm...
that stings the ribs now, doesn't it?
Is that necessary in ordinary conversation?!
All thoughts, until two weeks time
led to the chance
I gues I got close
Yes, closer than expected
(But that prize holds little reward)
Would a month sooner make a difference?
I beg you, don't mention this...me
to anyone.
(If you ever did, and I find that suspect)
((You know I could never say this to your face. To save face.))
I get it, I get it, I get it, I know it.
You can't love me.
You love an idea--is that it?
(Can you even stand the very idea of me?)
Oh, Lord. I came close, though, right? Right? I did come close? I mean, very close.
Four months killed it, that's it. Three months would have been fine. Clothes would fit better, there would be no mildew.
It's not me, it's time. Cursed, spited time.
Four more weeks just couldn't hold it.
I spoke so high and so happily to so many people.
what do I do now?
I carry on and I put on a happy face because you NEVER
EVER under any circumstance show vulnerabilty.
(Maybe that's all you wanted and that's why you cried in your car. I didn't break, I bent. But you wanted tears to fall,
you wanted me to scream and bawl, but I didn't. I joked. I remained jovial.)
Because I love you. I don't want to burn bridges. Friends remain better than anything else...
Do I hold on, though. Hold out?
Maybe your gut is right, but your head isn't. Right? Maybe you've over thought, and over analyzed.
But do I want love like that?
No, no. I know there is nothing. Stop holding out.
But.
do I move on? Do I stay?
What is more honorable?
Don't question me!
I know love, it becomes me.
Do I try to kick it out and start anew
Or do I buy a glass case and hold it close to me?
I have so many questions:
Was this preconcieved? Did you sit down and slowly tear me off of you?
how many men? Who! Who! Who has your eye?
Are you just saying this, to deal with me gently and kindly? Or do we have a chance?
What did I do wrong?
Do you love me?
Have you ever loved me?...
without pity, greed, and self-lust?
I'm so glad I never sent you that song.
Do you even waant to see me?
We can never have enough.
Is this purely American sentiment?
toys need accessories and happiness needs extensions.
Hands held
means lips locked
and pictures placed in lockets.
Friendship ends where love begins.
At this point...no, I take it back before I dare write it.
Because I love you.
Because
I love you.
I'm not that foolish, my dear.
Either this was calculated
Or I merely fell off the map in two weeks time.
Was it embarrassment, my dear?
Do your remember when we talked on the phone
What you said--what your roommate said?
No, it's not surprising what's transpired now.
I gathered thoughts and wrote letters
You only seemed to think once you were drunk and lonely.
And it was always about you and why I loved you
I asked for nothing, and, as such, got nothing in return,
So, you have my dignity, and I have a few kind words.
I figured you just weren't that open...
Oh...you're not good at blow jobs?
Erm...
that stings the ribs now, doesn't it?
Is that necessary in ordinary conversation?!
All thoughts, until two weeks time
led to the chance
I gues I got close
Yes, closer than expected
(But that prize holds little reward)
Would a month sooner make a difference?
I beg you, don't mention this...me
to anyone.
(If you ever did, and I find that suspect)
((You know I could never say this to your face. To save face.))
I get it, I get it, I get it, I know it.
You can't love me.
You love an idea--is that it?
(Can you even stand the very idea of me?)
Oh, Lord. I came close, though, right? Right? I did come close? I mean, very close.
Four months killed it, that's it. Three months would have been fine. Clothes would fit better, there would be no mildew.
It's not me, it's time. Cursed, spited time.
Four more weeks just couldn't hold it.
I spoke so high and so happily to so many people.
what do I do now?
I carry on and I put on a happy face because you NEVER
EVER under any circumstance show vulnerabilty.
(Maybe that's all you wanted and that's why you cried in your car. I didn't break, I bent. But you wanted tears to fall,
you wanted me to scream and bawl, but I didn't. I joked. I remained jovial.)
Because I love you. I don't want to burn bridges. Friends remain better than anything else...
Do I hold on, though. Hold out?
Maybe your gut is right, but your head isn't. Right? Maybe you've over thought, and over analyzed.
But do I want love like that?
No, no. I know there is nothing. Stop holding out.
But.
do I move on? Do I stay?
What is more honorable?
Don't question me!
I know love, it becomes me.
Do I try to kick it out and start anew
Or do I buy a glass case and hold it close to me?
I have so many questions:
Was this preconcieved? Did you sit down and slowly tear me off of you?
how many men? Who! Who! Who has your eye?
Are you just saying this, to deal with me gently and kindly? Or do we have a chance?
What did I do wrong?
Do you love me?
Have you ever loved me?...
without pity, greed, and self-lust?
I'm so glad I never sent you that song.
Do you even waant to see me?
We can never have enough.
Is this purely American sentiment?
toys need accessories and happiness needs extensions.
Hands held
means lips locked
and pictures placed in lockets.
Friendship ends where love begins.
At this point...no, I take it back before I dare write it.
Because I love you.
Because
I love you.