love, sex, and lasting relationships - a reaction
i read the whole book this morning from beginning to end...and i have to say, it's a great book...if only i had read it earlier, because some of what it teaches...i've already had to learn the hard way...which i will of course go over...because there is so much you can learn from in this book if you didn't realize it already...
one of my problems in the past is that i tried to become like the heroes in movies and books...the fantasy books...i've went over this a few times already, but that was awhile ago...so i'll kind of gloss over it right now...i changed myself because i wanted this girl to like me back in 6th grade...i thought, well if i become what the world seems to want, then it'll work out for me...and so i did change...a lot...instead of being more like the other guys and continue to make fun of girls, i immediately changed my act to be this nice guy...as complete of a gentleman as i could be...i ended up becoming really quiet, because i thought it better to be quiet than to continually joke around with everyone...and so i thought doing this would get me the girl...but it never did...and time after time i would do this method of where i would see some girl, "fall in love" when it was really infatuation...and just destroy myself...eventually i learned that things don't quite work like the movies or books as much as i wanted to...
what this book does is give my problem a name and a better explanation...it makes so much sense...exactly what i was going through, the author labeled as "Hollywood's Formula for Lasting, Loving Relationships"...and in summary, the steps were:
1. find the right person
2. fall in love
3. fix your hopes and dreams on this new, improved person you have found have found
4. repeat steps 1-3
i mean, this is really exactly what i used to think...and so many people think...i've been told a lot....the right girl will come...there's a girl out there for you....
but you know what, i really buy into what this book says...and it says that's the wrong outlook...it's the Hollywood method...it's the method that has become a part of our culture throughout the world...through movies, music, books...this method causes all sorts of trouble...especially since "Hollywood equates infatuation with love"...
how many of you can tell the difference between love and infatuation? apparently there was a study in which they found infatuation can last between 6 weeks to 18 months...infatuation, you know what i'm talking about...that feeling you get when you catch the eye of that girl/guy and you can't help but look again...and again...and again...until you're convinced you've fallen in love or that she could be the one...that one look gets us in big trouble...love is a wholly different thing from infatuation...and so often we confuse the two, especially in the midst of all our adolescent feelings in high school...
i will continue this tomorrow, because i'm afraid if i make this entry too long, people won't read it
one of my problems in the past is that i tried to become like the heroes in movies and books...the fantasy books...i've went over this a few times already, but that was awhile ago...so i'll kind of gloss over it right now...i changed myself because i wanted this girl to like me back in 6th grade...i thought, well if i become what the world seems to want, then it'll work out for me...and so i did change...a lot...instead of being more like the other guys and continue to make fun of girls, i immediately changed my act to be this nice guy...as complete of a gentleman as i could be...i ended up becoming really quiet, because i thought it better to be quiet than to continually joke around with everyone...and so i thought doing this would get me the girl...but it never did...and time after time i would do this method of where i would see some girl, "fall in love" when it was really infatuation...and just destroy myself...eventually i learned that things don't quite work like the movies or books as much as i wanted to...
what this book does is give my problem a name and a better explanation...it makes so much sense...exactly what i was going through, the author labeled as "Hollywood's Formula for Lasting, Loving Relationships"...and in summary, the steps were:
1. find the right person
2. fall in love
3. fix your hopes and dreams on this new, improved person you have found have found
4. repeat steps 1-3
i mean, this is really exactly what i used to think...and so many people think...i've been told a lot....the right girl will come...there's a girl out there for you....
but you know what, i really buy into what this book says...and it says that's the wrong outlook...it's the Hollywood method...it's the method that has become a part of our culture throughout the world...through movies, music, books...this method causes all sorts of trouble...especially since "Hollywood equates infatuation with love"...
how many of you can tell the difference between love and infatuation? apparently there was a study in which they found infatuation can last between 6 weeks to 18 months...infatuation, you know what i'm talking about...that feeling you get when you catch the eye of that girl/guy and you can't help but look again...and again...and again...until you're convinced you've fallen in love or that she could be the one...that one look gets us in big trouble...love is a wholly different thing from infatuation...and so often we confuse the two, especially in the midst of all our adolescent feelings in high school...
i will continue this tomorrow, because i'm afraid if i make this entry too long, people won't read it