One-shot: One
Okay, so this is my first fanfic ^.^" I'm kinda nervous. I hope you guys like it! By the way, if you have any tips considering my writing or grammar, please feel free to leave a comment. Comments are very appreciated! <333
Title: One
Author: vt_pq
Genre: Romance
Pairing: Masuda Takahisa x Tegoshi Yuuya
Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own any Johnny's. That Kitagawa-guy got them first... So I only own the plot.
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ONE
I look out of the window, my hands pressed against the glass. Big tunnels connect the airplanes with their gates. But there are so many tunnels... Which one is connected to gate D24? A weird feeling in my stomach is coming up. Nervousness is overtaking my body. And even though I hate it, it won’t go away.
I don’t want to be nervous. I hate being stressed. I hate not being able to see which plane is his. I hate him for leaving me. But most of all, I hate myself for not going after him.
When NEWS had started that day seven years ago, I found him weird. He was very shy and polite to those that mattered, like Yamashita-kun and Nishikido-kun. But he was acting superior to anyone of his own standard. For example, the moment he knew my name he started calling me Massu. A total stranger giving me this nickname, one that never left again. Like I said, this guy was weird.
But he changed. In a lot of ways. His style of clothing changed, his voice got better and his shyness took off. But it wasn’t a positive change, as you may think so. He turned into a self-centered brat. He was always the prankster ruining someone’s bag or glasses, and eventually, ruining someone’s day. NEWS often got sick of him. To tell the truth, I couldn’t stand him. And the worst thing was that he knew he was good. He knew his looks got better and he knew that his voice grew with his looks. I watched him grow from the sideline. This wasn’t the Tegoshi that I got to know and this wasn’t the one that I wanted to know. This was horror-teenage Tegoshi, and I kept my distance from him.
But as I watched from that sideline, I saw him change again. Something had happened, and I didn’t know what. I started to look more carefully. He seemed to have found peace and quiet. His voice was like never before. He could hit almost every high note. His behavior also changed. He stopped playing pranks on us and started apologizing for mistakes he had made. This was a completely different Tegoshi. This was the more grown-up version. And I was sure he hadn’t finished growing.
So I started to talk to him again, having fun with him. Whenever we had a break during shooting, we used to go out for a little breather. I felt comfortable with him around. Sometimes he could be very hyperactive, running all over the place and climbing on whatever it was he saw. But he could also be very serene. He would walk beside me in my pace, holding my hand and placing light kisses on my cheek. I didn’t really care. It was Tegoshi after all. I knew that he wasn’t serious, that he was joking.
But these little breaks with him gave me the opportunity to learn more about him. I discovered that he had been very lonely for a long time. During his prankster time, no one had wanted to spent a lot of time with him. Even his friends at home, the few he had left, had busted him. He knew that he had brought it upon himself, but he had no idea how to make it undone. He was lonely. He was locked up within himself.
When he told me his story, he squeezed my hand very tightly. And when he looked me in the eyes… Tears immediately got to my own. He had been hurt. And even though I wasn’t his best friend or something, I felt so stupid for staying on that bloody sideline back then.
I decided to take him out for dinner. I tried to make him smile again, which was harder than I’d imagined. But eventually, he did smile again. And it was brighter than ever before. It had been such a long time since I had seen happiness on his face. His smiles had become fake and distant. But the more I talked with him, the more happiness I saw on his face. It made me feel so good. This fragile boy that had been hurt so much was recovering. And I could help him with it.
His smile became my new addiction. I often took him out for dinner, just to see his smile again. And he didn’t mind. Whenever we were together we had fun. We could talk about… everything, actually. I don’t think there is a topic that we didn’t discuss. He had a fun time, and so did I. Our bond grew into something very strong. I couldn’t live without him anymore.
The other members noticed that we got closer. They first looked at me with a look that said: “Are you crazy? He’s weird! Get away from him and save yourself!” But when I didn’t, they got curious. They decided to come closer. Koyama took the first step. He started talking to Tegoshi again, laughing with him, making jokes with him. Then the rest of them decided that the coast was clear. They started to re-communicate with Tegoshi. I was really glad for him. A happy period of his life would begin again. But not for me.
We couldn’t be together so often anymore. Still, he called me every single day, but dinner or going out took too much of his time. The time that was first reserved for me was now being shared by twenty others. I felt hurt, and it really bothered me. I didn’t know why. I couldn’t help it nor stop it. And he noticed. My usual cheerfulness and baka-moments were gone. The smile that used to be on my face 24/7 began to fade. I felt miserable. He noticed. I started to ignore his calls. The moments I was free during shoots I spent on my own with my IPod. On my free days I would swim in the local pool. I did anything to avoid hearing or seeing him. And he noticed.
One day he decided it was enough. I was still sleeping when I heard the doorbell far away. I slowly opened my eyes while the sound started to ring through my head more clearly. I looked at my alarm. 7.30 AM. I yawned and got out of bed. In nothing more than my underwear I walked downstairs and opened the door. And there was Tegoshi, an angry look on his face. He stormed inside, murmering angry words at an incredible speed and looking at me with small, cold eyes. He really looked like a hurricane while he ranted at me. He was waving his arms all over the place and he never stood still for one second. I could only watch him with surprise in my eyes, still holding the doorknob in my hand. He yelled at me about how I was ignoring him, how he’d tried to find more time for me , how he loved me, how he had so much work to do now…
I was too astonished by his dramatic performance to fully pay attention. But when he said that one word, he lost me completely.
I asked him to repeat it again. Silence. He stared at me, a blush creeping to his cheeks. He repeated it, very softly and calmly this time.
“Love?” I asked him, totally stunned.
“Yes, love.” he said, hesitating. “You are the one who talked to me in hard times. You are the one who really understands. You are the one who knows everything about me. You are the one who really cares. You are the one I can really talk to and you are the one who accepts me as I am. You are the one, and the only one, I ever want to be with. Takahisa, I love you. ”
I looked at him with big eyes, my heart pounding in my throat. He loved me. He. Loved. Me.
“Massu?”
When his concerned voice reached my ears, everything went on automatic. I can’t remember exactly what happened. It seems like my senses were somehow cut off from reality. But when I felt his lips on mine , and my arms around his tender body, my senses came back stronger than ever before. I could taste him, I could smell him and I could feel him. And I knew that this was everything I’ve longed for. In one second, he became the most important thing in my life. I would never let him go again.
Now, I know you’re thinking I’m a little stupid. I’m still young, that was my first kiss, I would meet many other guys and girls... How could I possibly remain in love with him? How could I possibly know that he’s the one for me?
Trust me. The moment when I had pressed my lips onto his, everything fell in place. This was the scent I wanted to smell the rest of my life. This was the taste that could outrun whatever delicious food was placed in front of me. This was the touch that could make me hold my breath for minutes to enjoy it’s feeling even more. I wanted more and more of him. I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t able to.
And neither could he.
There is nothing in my entire life that can beat the memory of our first kiss.
When our lips finally parted, I couldn’t describe what I felt like. He looked me in the eyes and smiled my favorite smile, the most wide and brilliant one. His eyes were sparkling. Still on automatic pilot, my fingers touched his sweet face. They traced the lines that tears had left behind. His skin was smooth as silk. He closed his eyes and let my fingers explore his features. I placed my lips softly on his again. I was terrified to forget his taste, terrified that this may be just a dream. But it wasn’t.
He threw his arms softly around me, deepening the kiss. I could feel him biting on my lower lip. A small sting of pain, proof that this was all real. I felt happiness burst inside of me. I put my hands around his waist and pulled him even closer. He chuckled while still kissing me, not letting me go.
We never left the house that day. We continued exploring each others body. We kept on saying how much we loved the other. We never left each other’s side. We kept contact the whole day long, not losing each others touch. I was afraid he would disappear the moment I let him go. He willingly followed me throughout the whole house, placing light kisses on my shoulder and neck whenever I stood still.
We also talked. I told him why I’d been so distant to him. He understood, and apologized to me. I laughed his apology away, taking his face between my hands. I told him he didn’t need to apologize and I kissed him again.
He told me about his love for me. How long it had taken him to accept himself for the fact he was in love with a guy. He was shocked, disgusted and repulsed by his own heart.
But whenever I talked to him, he found inner peace. He enjoyed the moments with me, because they were the only moments he didn’t felt sick. His heart was at ease whenever I was with him. He didn’t wanted to be parted from me over and over again, every time we left each other in front of the restaurant. He decided that this urge to stay with me couldn’t be bad. His heart had told him so.
These are just some of the stories we told each other that day. We listened, talked, hugged, shed tears, kissed, comforted the other. We became one.
And even though work was coming at us with great force, we stayed together. We listened to each other when there were problems. We fought and made up an hour later. We kissed and cuddled when one of us needed a pair of arms around him, or more than that... I never knew that Yuuya could be so loving, so passionate and fierce in bed. Whenever we had sex, it’s like I was discovering him all over again. Everytime I thought I knew him completely, I discovered a little something that made Yuuya even more beautiful. I couldn’t get enough of him. Even though we were very busy with our work, we would still find time for each other. We came back home every night. We always kissed each other goodnight, no matter how late it was. Our bond was strong, but yet I felt weak. I knew that when he would leave me, there wouldn’t be anything left of me. And that is what’s happening now, at this very moment.
He’s leaving. He’s going to America. For work. For independent time.
Yuuya is leaving me.
When he told me, I felt sick. Tears were falling. Yuuya became a blur in the distance. I tried to speak to him, but nothing came out of my throat. I felt his arms around him, his lips kissing my tears away. I felt his tears on my cheeks, as he must have felt mine. Just like that, we weren’t one anymore. He stayed with me, he held me as long as he could. But he had to pack his stuff, and when the morning came he had to leave. There was no stopping it. The next morning I helped him carrying his suitcases to the car. I sat next to him in silence as he drove towards our end. He kept his eyes on the road, but I saw the tears in his eyes. And as he drove, I felt my heart breaking.
And that’s where we are now. Yuuya somewhere on this huge airport, unable to see me. And I’m standing here, my hands still pressed to the glass, trying to see him. I feel so helpless, so alone. I’m not complete. Tears are coming up again, completely against my will. I’ve got no control over my body at all. The only thing left inside of me is this huge desire. This desire to hold Yuuya one last time. To kiss him, to make love to him, to let him feel my love for him. To let him know that we are one. That we are meant to be.
But I can’t see him. I’m standing there, completely oblivious to time. To anything. I just stand there and watch airplanes departing and coming until I’m sure; Yuuya’s gone.
I feel my legs collapsing under me, the coldness of the floor. I feel people’s gaze upon me and still the lifeless touch of the glass under my hands. And suddenly I feel nothing at all. Reality has slipped through my fingers. Nothing is everything. Up is down. But I can hear something ; the shattered pieces of my heart bursting out of their frame.
Voices, far away. Asking how I’m doing. Asking if I can hear them. Fingers, hands on my shoulders, softly shaking me. I open my mouth to tell them I’m okay. I want them to leave me, to just let me be. I want them to go. Suddenly, a finger, tracing a line on my back. A hand, softly holding my shoulder. A voice, calling my name.
“Takahisa…”
A familiar warmth around my body. Arms around me. Lips against my cheeks. Lips on my mouth. A kiss. A familiar kiss. Reality is coming back to me at full speed. Everything is coming back. His smell, his voice, his warmth and his love.
“Yuuya...”
I hear him laughing.
“Yes, it’s me, Taka.”
I turn around, still sitting on the floor. Yuuya is sitting behind me. As soon as I meet his eyes a smile breaks trough. His most brilliant and loving smile. A true Yuuya-smile. I reach for his face. He meets my touch with his eyes closed, and I know it’s real. Yuuya won’t leave me. There is no two of us, there is only one. We can’t be half, we won’t be half.
We shall be one.