Kill 'em, Fuck 'em, eat his Suit
To the one I Adore,
I want you dead. I want to see you suffering as I have suffered. I wish you to beg as once I begged of you. In short my dear, I want to kill you slowly. It is good to want things. Builds character.
You said my ideologies were brilliant if cleched. You don't know the half of it. But you will. You shall come to know compassion as I have come to know it. For this is my gift to you.
With each passing day I grow increasingly patient and more exact. All of my virtues are matched in time by vice and thus I go on in peace, stiving towards perfection. You have always known me a temperant kind yet now my terrible envy and righteous indignation are steeped to a fine consentrate. I am made of cautious steel forged from the very fires of the hell you put me through.
Every day my prayers are for one thought: all I ask is for one more day where in I plot, wait and hold. I know not when my revenge will take place, but I can guarantee you beautiful pain all through then.
I will find you in daytime. I come armed to the teeth, aware that I have more teeth now than ever before. I will find a way to conquer you, pin you in a space once reserved for your last refuge of safety or joy. Where only too appropriet, you will be forced to listen to every last goddamned word I have to say. You will utter not a sound but unsettled breath until I deem nessasary.
You are going to earn the love I gave for free. You too can be deserving of my pain, my charity and my wrath. We will learn a new intimacy like that promiced between gods at war. And the final dark truth of your own soul should be made obvious to any who look at your terrible vissage.
As I beat this burden out of you, you will not fight me or defend yourself. Just submit to my anger and when allowd, my redemption. Eventually, you will feel release that only comes with terible shame. I will bless you as only I can: as one who knows every pit of unease in which to dig my needles. I know how you are weak and how to traverse your every defence or follie til there are none.
You are going to know my aweful will until you learn to love the taste of your own suffering. At the end of this you will find yourself the most free that you have ever felt. For you will have shed all pretense, feel neither self worth or identity. There will be no other persons in the universe except you and me. I will be a god and you will be dying.
Only then will you know what it is to be thankful. Forgive all sins, beg for mercy and wait with baited breath for the last change to come. Sobbingly, you should thank me and bless my feet as you cry,
"Thank you for inspiering me to hate you, for it is through that hatred that I can understand in the most viceral way how everyone in the world holds a tiny apocolypse inside himself."
And then in our most perfect moment together, you are going to ask me for your murder by name.
I alone can grant you with the serene access to the abyss. In my doing this, you are then empowered to kill your own death.
There was a time not too long ago when you gave me this gift. Once upon a time you gave me a home, a family, a name and a truth of spirit without question or consequence. And just as it had been given me, so was it removed by you, without trial or deliberation. For your honor and my closure, I have no choice. Then I will fight myself, knowing what it is to hold a person's existence up to them and will myself to crush it, asking only "How does it feel?"
And you will die at my hand. I will be forced to kill you with terrible love.
I will find whatever will be left of your snuffed spirit in the dark forrest, bathe in the glory of your blood and curse your short legacy, and laugh. Only after all that can the true miracle occur. As you surrender to Nod, there I will be holding a torch to lead you home. I will go to you to wash your face by my tears and dry it in my hair and hot hands. Again you could draw breath, open new eyes, hear your first sweet sounds. The world will belong to us again. I will give you darkness and silence so you would appriciate real blindness and deafness. I come to deliver you a life more abundant. I stand before you naked and alone, totally without fear. I am ready to die for love. I demand the same in return.
I offer you all that you were never able to ask for on the soul condition that you accept absolutely. Some people say they would do whatever it takes: I do it. Some still speak of travelling any distance for love: I am here. You always preached "Know Thyself": I do, I am, I must make a way. After you are dead, you will see it this way too. For Truth, Freedom, Faith and above all else, for Love, I can. For the us that was and the me that is and the you that I wish for, for all that you deserve, I will fight until the way is clear or we are both gone. Only then might we be healed. Only I can make you whole. Only love kills the demon. You will belong to me only and I will love you alone. That is all I wish. This is what I know to be true.
You are what I want. And it is good to want things.
I want you dead. I want to see you suffering as I have suffered. I wish you to beg as once I begged of you. In short my dear, I want to kill you slowly. It is good to want things. Builds character.
You said my ideologies were brilliant if cleched. You don't know the half of it. But you will. You shall come to know compassion as I have come to know it. For this is my gift to you.
With each passing day I grow increasingly patient and more exact. All of my virtues are matched in time by vice and thus I go on in peace, stiving towards perfection. You have always known me a temperant kind yet now my terrible envy and righteous indignation are steeped to a fine consentrate. I am made of cautious steel forged from the very fires of the hell you put me through.
Every day my prayers are for one thought: all I ask is for one more day where in I plot, wait and hold. I know not when my revenge will take place, but I can guarantee you beautiful pain all through then.
I will find you in daytime. I come armed to the teeth, aware that I have more teeth now than ever before. I will find a way to conquer you, pin you in a space once reserved for your last refuge of safety or joy. Where only too appropriet, you will be forced to listen to every last goddamned word I have to say. You will utter not a sound but unsettled breath until I deem nessasary.
You are going to earn the love I gave for free. You too can be deserving of my pain, my charity and my wrath. We will learn a new intimacy like that promiced between gods at war. And the final dark truth of your own soul should be made obvious to any who look at your terrible vissage.
As I beat this burden out of you, you will not fight me or defend yourself. Just submit to my anger and when allowd, my redemption. Eventually, you will feel release that only comes with terible shame. I will bless you as only I can: as one who knows every pit of unease in which to dig my needles. I know how you are weak and how to traverse your every defence or follie til there are none.
You are going to know my aweful will until you learn to love the taste of your own suffering. At the end of this you will find yourself the most free that you have ever felt. For you will have shed all pretense, feel neither self worth or identity. There will be no other persons in the universe except you and me. I will be a god and you will be dying.
Only then will you know what it is to be thankful. Forgive all sins, beg for mercy and wait with baited breath for the last change to come. Sobbingly, you should thank me and bless my feet as you cry,
"Thank you for inspiering me to hate you, for it is through that hatred that I can understand in the most viceral way how everyone in the world holds a tiny apocolypse inside himself."
And then in our most perfect moment together, you are going to ask me for your murder by name.
I alone can grant you with the serene access to the abyss. In my doing this, you are then empowered to kill your own death.
There was a time not too long ago when you gave me this gift. Once upon a time you gave me a home, a family, a name and a truth of spirit without question or consequence. And just as it had been given me, so was it removed by you, without trial or deliberation. For your honor and my closure, I have no choice. Then I will fight myself, knowing what it is to hold a person's existence up to them and will myself to crush it, asking only "How does it feel?"
And you will die at my hand. I will be forced to kill you with terrible love.
I will find whatever will be left of your snuffed spirit in the dark forrest, bathe in the glory of your blood and curse your short legacy, and laugh. Only after all that can the true miracle occur. As you surrender to Nod, there I will be holding a torch to lead you home. I will go to you to wash your face by my tears and dry it in my hair and hot hands. Again you could draw breath, open new eyes, hear your first sweet sounds. The world will belong to us again. I will give you darkness and silence so you would appriciate real blindness and deafness. I come to deliver you a life more abundant. I stand before you naked and alone, totally without fear. I am ready to die for love. I demand the same in return.
I offer you all that you were never able to ask for on the soul condition that you accept absolutely. Some people say they would do whatever it takes: I do it. Some still speak of travelling any distance for love: I am here. You always preached "Know Thyself": I do, I am, I must make a way. After you are dead, you will see it this way too. For Truth, Freedom, Faith and above all else, for Love, I can. For the us that was and the me that is and the you that I wish for, for all that you deserve, I will fight until the way is clear or we are both gone. Only then might we be healed. Only I can make you whole. Only love kills the demon. You will belong to me only and I will love you alone. That is all I wish. This is what I know to be true.
You are what I want. And it is good to want things.