Blue hue about the days
Been stressed lately, very stressed.
It makes it hard to keep up my resolution, being a happier person, it makes it hard to make other people happy. It feels like I'm starting to sink into quicksand and don't have anything to grab ahold of to help me out. Yes, there are some people doing what they can to help, and bless them for it, but I don't think things will work out that way. I asked one person in particular for moral support, but Fishy's sick, very sick, apparently, but I wouln'd doubt that as I write this he's at Lotus...Which is a little meh inducing, but meh.
I really feel disconnected and like outside of him, there's no one I can really talk to, for certain reasons. I feel a little lonely while trying to deal with all of this, but Pandas atleast keep me company at night and try to keep me from crying when I feel like it. Above everything, the season is coming that plagues the air with love and people breaking up, getting together, etc, keep flocking to me. I love you people, but sometimes my own problems do not need to know your heart breaks and add to how bad I feel as it is, but now, knowing your sadness, I feel bad for not being able to help you. Moonie just feels a bit lost and panicky. Also, my back started hurting bad enough to make walking difficult yesterday, when I tried to walk I ended up feeling hunched over and awkward, pretty embarrassing. Today it feels better and I walk a little less derpy, but it still hurts.
I need a hug...
and money :/
I'm actually a tad scared.
There's some hope of help, but I've learned a bit better than to rely on hope alone for good things. I hoped I'd be able to be happy, I hoped to have a nice day yesterday, I hope my back wouldn't betray me that badly, but I have to keep trudging on because I know if I call it quits and decide to just hide in bed forever these annoying ass people I call friends and family would probably notice and try to lure me out with Coke and pixi sticks and little pet frogs. Damn them for their effort. I can't resist all that.
Well, I'll be looking forward to hugs, and hopefully some Fish time.
It makes it hard to keep up my resolution, being a happier person, it makes it hard to make other people happy. It feels like I'm starting to sink into quicksand and don't have anything to grab ahold of to help me out. Yes, there are some people doing what they can to help, and bless them for it, but I don't think things will work out that way. I asked one person in particular for moral support, but Fishy's sick, very sick, apparently, but I wouln'd doubt that as I write this he's at Lotus...Which is a little meh inducing, but meh.
I really feel disconnected and like outside of him, there's no one I can really talk to, for certain reasons. I feel a little lonely while trying to deal with all of this, but Pandas atleast keep me company at night and try to keep me from crying when I feel like it. Above everything, the season is coming that plagues the air with love and people breaking up, getting together, etc, keep flocking to me. I love you people, but sometimes my own problems do not need to know your heart breaks and add to how bad I feel as it is, but now, knowing your sadness, I feel bad for not being able to help you. Moonie just feels a bit lost and panicky. Also, my back started hurting bad enough to make walking difficult yesterday, when I tried to walk I ended up feeling hunched over and awkward, pretty embarrassing. Today it feels better and I walk a little less derpy, but it still hurts.
I need a hug...
and money :/
I'm actually a tad scared.
There's some hope of help, but I've learned a bit better than to rely on hope alone for good things. I hoped I'd be able to be happy, I hoped to have a nice day yesterday, I hope my back wouldn't betray me that badly, but I have to keep trudging on because I know if I call it quits and decide to just hide in bed forever these annoying ass people I call friends and family would probably notice and try to lure me out with Coke and pixi sticks and little pet frogs. Damn them for their effort. I can't resist all that.
Well, I'll be looking forward to hugs, and hopefully some Fish time.