Writer's Block: In the Event of a Zombie Emergency
Hmmm. At the moment, I'm not very prepared. Martian invasion, yes, robot revolution, fairly well, but my zombie outbreak plan needs some work.
I don't even think I've seen any zombie films apart from Resident Evil. (Not even Shaun of the Dead!! I am ashamed.) So if zombies rose from their graves right now...okay I can actually see the cemetary from my bedroom window. This is bad, I wouldn't have much time. I'd get Sam to fetch the ladder and drag it out of my window onto the extension roof. I would get my parents to board up windows. Well... I'd tell them to look out of my window first, to save me explaining and them not believing me. Sam, it would go like this.
Me: Sam, we got zombies!
Sam: Oh. Dude.
Me: The roof?
Sam: The roof.
Me: You get the ladder, I'll get the parents.
Sam: Gotcha.
I would grab the garage key, and run out to grab some petrol. I figure if I'm quick, I've got time to get matches and get on the roof. There are a few houses between us and the graveyard...they've got to get through the fences...still might be cutting it a bit fine. I'd grab some bedding on my way out my bedroom window, run up the ladder, where Sam and my parents have had plenty of time to get up. We'd pull the ladder up.
Then, with bedding, petrol and matches, we'd proceed to firebomb any zombies who got too close. If Sam had his phone on him, we'd call everyone we knew and tell them to get their zombie plan into action. If they didn't have one, we'd suggest prayer. I reckon we might be okay. Certainly some zombies would break through the french doors and into our house. And some would come up the stairs and get onto the extension roof. But from the house roof, we could firebomb them until we accidentally set our house on fire, and had to move down the street. But that's okay, I reckon we could get quite far along the rooftops.
As you can see, it's not very well developed, considering how little time we'd have. And setting our house on fire isn't a fantastic idea. I'll have to think on this.
But the robot revolution, now...
EDIT: I told Sam we needed a zombie plan, and what I'd come up with so far.
Sam: "Jess that's a terrible idea. There's probably only one thing worse than a zombie, and that's a zombie on fire. They wouldn't die, only smashing their heads kills them! They'd be trying to eat your brain while on fire. They - wait...you haven't seen Shaun of the Dead??? Wh...how, why not???"
If there's a zombie outbreak, watch out for me. I'll be the one near the back, coming for your brains.
I may be on fire.
I don't even think I've seen any zombie films apart from Resident Evil. (Not even Shaun of the Dead!! I am ashamed.) So if zombies rose from their graves right now...okay I can actually see the cemetary from my bedroom window. This is bad, I wouldn't have much time. I'd get Sam to fetch the ladder and drag it out of my window onto the extension roof. I would get my parents to board up windows. Well... I'd tell them to look out of my window first, to save me explaining and them not believing me. Sam, it would go like this.
Me: Sam, we got zombies!
Sam: Oh. Dude.
Me: The roof?
Sam: The roof.
Me: You get the ladder, I'll get the parents.
Sam: Gotcha.
I would grab the garage key, and run out to grab some petrol. I figure if I'm quick, I've got time to get matches and get on the roof. There are a few houses between us and the graveyard...they've got to get through the fences...still might be cutting it a bit fine. I'd grab some bedding on my way out my bedroom window, run up the ladder, where Sam and my parents have had plenty of time to get up. We'd pull the ladder up.
Then, with bedding, petrol and matches, we'd proceed to firebomb any zombies who got too close. If Sam had his phone on him, we'd call everyone we knew and tell them to get their zombie plan into action. If they didn't have one, we'd suggest prayer. I reckon we might be okay. Certainly some zombies would break through the french doors and into our house. And some would come up the stairs and get onto the extension roof. But from the house roof, we could firebomb them until we accidentally set our house on fire, and had to move down the street. But that's okay, I reckon we could get quite far along the rooftops.
As you can see, it's not very well developed, considering how little time we'd have. And setting our house on fire isn't a fantastic idea. I'll have to think on this.
But the robot revolution, now...
EDIT: I told Sam we needed a zombie plan, and what I'd come up with so far.
Sam: "Jess that's a terrible idea. There's probably only one thing worse than a zombie, and that's a zombie on fire. They wouldn't die, only smashing their heads kills them! They'd be trying to eat your brain while on fire. They - wait...you haven't seen Shaun of the Dead??? Wh...how, why not???"
If there's a zombie outbreak, watch out for me. I'll be the one near the back, coming for your brains.
I may be on fire.