[thread] my soul to keep

[face_downcast]

Who: tree!Ashura, sleepy!Cain [closed]
What: Cain goes to visit the tree because he has so much love for Ashura that it hurts was told he'd be allowed to
Where: The tree in the remains of Ashura's church (?)
When: Between helping Allen and going to see Ayame; because I said so
Rating: G for lamb-like innocent-ness [subject to change]

Comments

[face_downcast]

It was an odd sensation. The air had seemed to hum with affection for just a moment, and then... well, it had felt as if a comforting hand had brushed over his hair, smoothing it gently as he rested against the tree.

Cain's eyelids fluttered uncertainly, fighting to stay awake. He could hear Ashura's voice, soft and slightly distant, speaking quiet soothing words of friendship. His heart all but stopped for a moment. It couldn't be... could it...?

A warm sensation like a breeze rustled through the area, licking at his clothing as the sheep shifted closer to his side, head bowed comfortably around against its hooves. Cain fought with himself for a moment, but in the end an almost child-like smile won out. His words sounded heavy, oddly youthful but weighted with exhaustion. "...Ashura...? Is that...?"

[face_downcast]

There was a warm, comfortable weight on either side of him now. One was the black-faced sheep, obviously; the other felt... less solid. Almost an extension of the tree wrapping around him, a comforting presence curling near him in a wonderfully protective way. The words were still faint, calling him under, tugging at his conciousness to take the plunge and slip into the proper abyss.

His lips moved, trying to form words, questions, an apology. The voice failed, unable to leave his throat, as finally sleep won out, dragging Cain down into its murky depths.

The world was suddenly like a dream. After all, it couldn't be Ashura settled in next to him. He was imagining things. Dreaming them up. Shivering slightly, his thoughts attempted what his words could not, bouncing out hesitantly into this new dreamworld as his hand finally fell still on the sheep's back, resting.

"...you... are here, my Lord?"

[face_downcast]

It was strange, how easily the soft gentle voice brought a smile to Cain's lips. He allowed himself to settle further into sleep, the world around him drifting into sharper focus. No need to sleep lightly and worry about nightmares.

"...you're still not well? Does this rest truely not help at all?"

It was bothering him, the calm smile on his lips aside. Ashura had trapped himself in this way because of 'weakness,' a difficult slip he'd taken when his world had come crashing around him. It was hard to befriend a god, after all; their moments of anguish were exquisite, bringing down buildings or empires with the force of their emotions.

Not that there was much Cain could do. For himself, simply being this close to the other again helped. For Ashura... it was a weight he couldn't shoulder. No human could carry the weight of the world, after all.

[face_downcast]

The way Ashura phrased it, everything felt easier to bear. It was a matter of love. He didn't want to hurt anyone, to let anyone suffer, to bring pain because he couldn't control who he was and what it meant to have lived his life.

Of course, Cain wouldn't deny that it also felt good to hear that something, anything, helped. There had been little he could do (or had done) to help in the beginning. There still was little visible he could do to help with this phase of it. But just knowing that there was something comforting, something that helped Ashura feel at ease, the way he'd helped Cain feel at ease so many times before...

...and the way he was doing now, with the softly smiled words and the gentle touch. Incredible, how alive Ashura felt in this dreamworld. Without meaning to, the boy leaned into the touch, the faintest hint of a purr rising in his throat.

"For Merry, yes," he conceeded, voice quiet from the combined comfort of seeing Ashura again and the warmth of the half-real sun over the tree. "I couldn't manage it as well

[face_downcast]

The soft caresses ceased, and Cain couldn't help but sigh faintly, eyes flicking properly open in the dream. Taking his cue from his Lord, he let the subject of prisons (self-imprisonment, really; something he'd never admit to struggling with, readily though he admitted to snaring his younger sister in for himself) fall to the side, face instead remaining bright from the last gentle touch and the hint of humour in Ashura's first comment.

"Of course I came to see you. You must be in a very tough place indeed, that I bring you such pleasure," the young man added in a faintly teasing tone. His gaze softened again as he shifted, fingers still absently petting the lamb in his arms as he cuddled his body a little closer to Ashura's. "But you are faring well enough...? Apart from the lack of company."

[face_downcast]

The warmth as Ashura leaned over him comfortably made everything better. Amazing, really.

"Did you lose?" Cain asked, almost absently as he kept himself awake within the dream, struggling against the contentment of the moment as he curled happily closer. "You're still yourself. Is that not a victory?"

It was a stretch, perhaps. Poor Ashura was a tree who could just barely reach those he cared for in a fragile dream-state. The greater part of his conciousness had been dominated by darkness. But wasn't this talk, this comfort, a sign that Ashura has won in his own right?

[face_downcast]

"And that it is not for any one person to bear it all, mm?" His own golden eyes slipped shut as Cain cuddled properly into the embrace, one arm still loosely around the black sheep who'd wandered in with him. "I'm not sure I understand properly, however. Never let destiny 'erase me'...?"

It was an odd concept, one he'd have to have explained to him. Suffering he understood. Being cursed was natural to him. But destiny? Cain didn't really know what to make of it, easy though it is to fear things one doesn't understand.

[face_downcast]

For a moment Cain was completely silent. His heart went out completely to this fragile beautiful god who wanted nothing more than to be loved and cared for, as every creature does in its own way. Ashura made so much more sense than the Christian god, really. He could be empathized with, had the same feelings and wants and pains that the downcast had, needed the same affection, craved the same warmth and ached for the same sinless life.

For Ashura, however, with the weight of the world's fallen on his shoulders, carrying the pain for Cain and those like him, the pain must be more than a thousandfold greater than Cain could possibly comprehend.

"...it is not enough to have the love of those like us?" he asked softly. "Can that not be enough? That a fellow sinner wants and needs this twisted affection?"