Smells like LJ
Wow. Its definitely been a while. I don't even recognize the names on my friends list anymore. All I know, is that I can't sleep and the memory of this blog crossed my mind. So I retrived my password and decided to regail this page with some thoughts. Lots of things of the past have been plaguing me. Missed opportunities, passed arguments, relationships. Basic brain worm stuff that plagues you in the middle of the night. But lately they've been screaming at me from the back of my head. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about it. So i lie here, rolling over the situations and lost loves in my head. Amanda, Jennifer, Lola, Carrie, Nisha, Yukari, Rose, Melissa, Danijela... Please let me sleep.
Lately I've been wrestling with depession too. Some days I just lay here and try to will myself out of existence. Not suicidal, just non existence.
Im not as tragic and dark as i thought I was when I was younger. Never was. Just misguided, arrogant,narcissistic, self absorbed. And I'm sorry. Honestly, if I could go back in time, I'd go back and kick my own ass. Grab myself by the collar and shake myself sternly. I want to sleep.
Lately I've been wrestling with depession too. Some days I just lay here and try to will myself out of existence. Not suicidal, just non existence.
Im not as tragic and dark as i thought I was when I was younger. Never was. Just misguided, arrogant,narcissistic, self absorbed. And I'm sorry. Honestly, if I could go back in time, I'd go back and kick my own ass. Grab myself by the collar and shake myself sternly. I want to sleep.