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[voltbird]

This week has been very exhausting for me. After everything has ended I admit now I was very nervous. In fact, I think I have a panic anxiety. Not to mention it's not just one anxiety. I've never visited a doctor because even though it's troublesome sometimes I get over it everytime. These things are not main part of my life, fortunately. Yet they

Comments

[hakuleen]

this is internet and really i can't help you from here... i would have to be there to hug you right now for at least one hour, or two, or several days T_T ...
if i had money now i would go to Moscow in the first plane, i wouldn't mind anything more ...
i only can advise you ... i think you shouldn't leave your current job ... try to work for some days, weeks more... maybe you will feel well in that working environment .... my esperience is the responsability is necesary in most of jobs and trying to do it well, you will not be afraid for anything ...

a million of hugs ! this is the only useless thing i can do from here ... --___--

[voltbird]

You are right, this is internet... If only we could meet now and talk, support each other... But at least here can do it too, even if it's only echoes of real words. If there was something I could help you with, I'd do that. Please tell me if you need anything now!
I know... I will stay as long as I can. But panic attacks are not something you can control at all, they are devastating sometimes. I try my f-cking best to work better and I do every time. There may be no particular reason for the panic attack and when it happens my work goes down, it's hard. I try to support myself but everytime it happens I just want to run away. I know it's silly and funny, that's why I think it is panic anxiety, because I'm absolutely conscious about my actions and feelings but I can't help them. Anyway, don't take it too serious, it's not something serious as disorder, I'm fine :)

[greyglass]

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well :(

I have a friend who has a really stressful job like that. For a while she was throwing up every morning, and had massive panic attacks that made it hard for her to work. I dont know what your options are as far as looking for ways to keep your sanity, but take care of yourself. Even more than job responsibilities, you should look out for yourself.

[voltbird]

Thank you for your advice! Does your friend still work in that place? I'm sorry to hear your friend has such violent reactions to the job, it must be a nightmare :/ These two days I couldn't eat (had to force myself to do it) and felt very sick but at least it was all I endured physically. It's funny but also sad that these little and simple things in life like work, communication etc may turn into real torture for some people. But it doesn't mean it should control their lives, really.

[greyglass]

Well, my friend is moving back to her home state soon, so she will be quitting the job out of necessity. To be honest, I think she is a little relieved though.

I think it also has to do with the pressure we put on ourselves. I've had similar bad reaction to stress, but I think it's because I want everything to be perfect, and for people to see me as being perfect at my job, or to have people like me, etc. Once I relax a little and ask myself, "What's the worst that could go wrong?" usually things get better.

Unless you're an air-traffic controller. Then the question of "What's the worst thing that could go wrong?" is actually kind of a stressful thing to think about too ;P

[voltbird]

lol You are right, the mind agrees but at the moment it's hard to relax. But I think it's matter of practice and experience :)