Richard leaves....
Yesterday was spent with Richard, RJ and I eating brawts and steaks on the back porch after a two mile walk on the All American Trail. RJ, was of course, adorbs in his Bumbo. We played lots of "Airborne Baby" complete with video for his adoring family in NY, OR and Germany and Richard and I maintained a healthy level of drunk where we were numb to the pain of the fact that he'd be leaving for 7 months.
The goodbye with Richard, was by far, the most difficult goodbye I've ever dealt with in my entire life. When Richard deployed when we were dating, it sucked, but the fear was "he might break up with me." The goodbye when we were engaged was filled with the fear of, "how am I going to plan this wedding alone AND deploy my BDE." The fear and sadness this time was just filled with knowing that for 7 months I'm going to be raising our child, alone. I don't want to fuck this up.
Thankfully, Sarah Hasselman had reached out to me earlier and we had a late lunch at the Olive Garden (since Richard HATES the Olive Garden). We downed a bottle of Sangria and each ate a plate of pasta (I even took home a slice of tiramisu).
I let RJ fall asleep on me downstairs after his bath. Prior to his bath he had an INSANE blow out (and he proceeded to pee FOREVER after I got him in the bath, thank GOD he wanted until we were in the bath to do that and NOT on the stairs!!). Cuddling with him was helpful. Whenever the sadness got to be too much I'd just kiss his head and remind him of how much Richard and I love him and how excited we are to watch him grow.
Now, things to look forward to: 1) tomorrow will be a kid date with Tiffany Best (Steve will be home soon, in fact, Richard is replacing his team somewhere in Konar Province) and 2) Les Mis and Fayetteville Animal Protection Society event on Saturday. Between Tues. and Saturday I need to think of things to do to get me out of the house at least once every day. My intent tomorrow is to start planning out my week so I can do just that.
Things I need to NOT think about: the 11 NATO civilians killed yesterday in Konar Province, how hard this next 7 months will be juggling the Reserves, my job and RJ, how much I miss Richard, the death note he wrote for RJ and how much my eyes hurt from crying.
Simply put, this is awful.
The goodbye with Richard, was by far, the most difficult goodbye I've ever dealt with in my entire life. When Richard deployed when we were dating, it sucked, but the fear was "he might break up with me." The goodbye when we were engaged was filled with the fear of, "how am I going to plan this wedding alone AND deploy my BDE." The fear and sadness this time was just filled with knowing that for 7 months I'm going to be raising our child, alone. I don't want to fuck this up.
Thankfully, Sarah Hasselman had reached out to me earlier and we had a late lunch at the Olive Garden (since Richard HATES the Olive Garden). We downed a bottle of Sangria and each ate a plate of pasta (I even took home a slice of tiramisu).
I let RJ fall asleep on me downstairs after his bath. Prior to his bath he had an INSANE blow out (and he proceeded to pee FOREVER after I got him in the bath, thank GOD he wanted until we were in the bath to do that and NOT on the stairs!!). Cuddling with him was helpful. Whenever the sadness got to be too much I'd just kiss his head and remind him of how much Richard and I love him and how excited we are to watch him grow.
Now, things to look forward to: 1) tomorrow will be a kid date with Tiffany Best (Steve will be home soon, in fact, Richard is replacing his team somewhere in Konar Province) and 2) Les Mis and Fayetteville Animal Protection Society event on Saturday. Between Tues. and Saturday I need to think of things to do to get me out of the house at least once every day. My intent tomorrow is to start planning out my week so I can do just that.
Things I need to NOT think about: the 11 NATO civilians killed yesterday in Konar Province, how hard this next 7 months will be juggling the Reserves, my job and RJ, how much I miss Richard, the death note he wrote for RJ and how much my eyes hurt from crying.
Simply put, this is awful.