It's been awhile...
...I'm fairly certain no one who I initially was friends with on this site even still uses it. But with one week prior to Richard's deployment and staring at my five week old son sleeping I've decided that I'd like to write out my feelings this deployment. I've never been one for therapy but I also don't want to burden my friends with the myriad emotions going through my head at this point and in the weeks to come.
As for my son. RJ is the coolest person I've ever met. I wish he'd sleep a bit more (at night) but I keep reminding myself that there will be a point when I look back and miss these days. Although, I have to laugh because I remember my friend Janet telling me when I was pregnant, "Your baby will be cute 10% of the time as a survival mechanism for the remaining 90% of the time when you want to shake them." It was funny at the time and has ran through my head like some twisted soundtrack on the nights when I've been up for the 2nd or 3rd time between 3am-4am. I've still got another two weeks before sleep training can begin (according to the books) so for now I guess I've got to just gut it out. Although there is an element of me that is a bit relieved that Richard will deploy soon because at that point, it's just RJ and I, so the schedule is mine to keep and no one will be there to question any parenting decisions. Like marriage, rearing a child comes with a lot of expectations and despite how many conversations you have with your spouse prior to the arrival of the baby there are so many unaccountable variables.
I've told myself at least a thousand times that I'm going to remember these moments for when RJ is older and has children (or just a singular child) of his own so that he'll understand where his wife is coming from. Thankfully, I've not experienced any post-partum (I hated being pregnant so that's not a surprise), and I'm back in my pre-pregnancy clothes (and only 5lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight). The only issues I've had are the acne from hell (especially under my chin near my neck, HOT!) and irritability from lack of sleep. But in the end, RJ, totally worth it.
Well, Richard just walked through the door from seeing folks off at Green Ramp. RJ's been asleep for nearly three hours so I think the Hubs and I will enjoy a drink and watch the Season 3 finale of The Walking Dead. :)
As for my son. RJ is the coolest person I've ever met. I wish he'd sleep a bit more (at night) but I keep reminding myself that there will be a point when I look back and miss these days. Although, I have to laugh because I remember my friend Janet telling me when I was pregnant, "Your baby will be cute 10% of the time as a survival mechanism for the remaining 90% of the time when you want to shake them." It was funny at the time and has ran through my head like some twisted soundtrack on the nights when I've been up for the 2nd or 3rd time between 3am-4am. I've still got another two weeks before sleep training can begin (according to the books) so for now I guess I've got to just gut it out. Although there is an element of me that is a bit relieved that Richard will deploy soon because at that point, it's just RJ and I, so the schedule is mine to keep and no one will be there to question any parenting decisions. Like marriage, rearing a child comes with a lot of expectations and despite how many conversations you have with your spouse prior to the arrival of the baby there are so many unaccountable variables.
I've told myself at least a thousand times that I'm going to remember these moments for when RJ is older and has children (or just a singular child) of his own so that he'll understand where his wife is coming from. Thankfully, I've not experienced any post-partum (I hated being pregnant so that's not a surprise), and I'm back in my pre-pregnancy clothes (and only 5lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight). The only issues I've had are the acne from hell (especially under my chin near my neck, HOT!) and irritability from lack of sleep. But in the end, RJ, totally worth it.
Well, Richard just walked through the door from seeing folks off at Green Ramp. RJ's been asleep for nearly three hours so I think the Hubs and I will enjoy a drink and watch the Season 3 finale of The Walking Dead. :)