Our Darkest Wishes part 2/2
Umm yeah, I kinda meant to post these two together but then I was in the middle typing it on the computer from my notebooks and then I looked at the clock and it was already time for my rpg group to meet and... well, you know, sometimes a girl really needs to get to smash some alien skulls and blow holes into big war machines.
What, you never have that feeling?
Uh, anyhow. Here it is now. And I'll post it up to the Royal Narnian Ship too, eventually.
Our Darkest Wishes (part 2/2, those who haven't, please first read the part 1/2 here)
Rated: R for very suggestive themes ( I really suck at rating stuff so just see warnings)
Warnings: slash as in homosexual loving, strictly movie-verse not because I don't like the books but because there's just so much more slash in the movies
Summary: Edmund misunderstands Caspian's words from earlier, so clarification is in order.
All throughout the battle at the Dark Isle Edmund was torn between trying to banish his own fears and trying not to wonder about Caspian's. When the sea serpent emerged he couldn't but admit that Caspian might have had a point in saying it was Edmund they might be up against. When he climbed up to the mast he felt worried. Caspian had said he thought of Edmund as a brother, but it just made this the same situation as it had been with Peter also and that hadn't stopped Edmund from failing him. So how was Caspian any different? And did he have any right to feel hurt over the accusation? Caspian had every right to fear that he would betray him just as he had his own brother. Now he had already been the only one not able to keep his fears in check and they had a very real and angry sea serpent attacking them to prove that. It was his fault they were battling the monster.
I'm betraying their trust again, this is all my fault, just like before, he thought when he got to his position in the mast and lifted his sword at the snake.
And then Jadis was there again, looming all around, tempting and offering him everything, whispering promises of kingdom, power and respect. He felt his heart turn to her once more, he wanted to believe those promises were true.
But then there was Caspian, screaming his name from the deck far below and as if that had been a sign, and Edmund felt like he'd just woke up from a dream. His sword flashed with strikingly bright blue light and he just knew he could do this. He knew it as sure as if Aslan himself had just whispered it to him - which, given all the magic in this world, could very well have been the case. Edmund felt strong, he was King Edmund the Just again. He could redeem himself once more, and as he turned away from Jadis' cold gaze and faced the sea serpent, he heard the White Witch scream in pain and it was as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his chest.
The rest of the fight was just a whirl of roars, angry slashes, flashes of pain and finally, the glowing warmth of victory. He had resisted her, his worst nightmare and he had pulled it through. He hadn't messed things up this time. He smiled a battle-worn but happy smile, sitting on the deck, too tired to stand, thinking: Thank you, Aslan.
When Caspian came all but running to him, he saw pride and relief on the other King's face. Also Lucy ran to him, clearly looking happy, but she didn't stay long after he made sure Edmund wasn't in need of her cordial. Then all the missing people were coming in boats towards them and there was suddenly so many people rushing around that Edmund felt dizzy. Lucy was off greeting the new people, but she glanced at Edmund and nodded meaningfully at something behind his brother's back. Edmund turned around and saw Caspian standing behind him, looking towards Lucy with a little smile ghosting on his lips and although he too was stained with sea serpent blood, hair messed up and face dirty, Edmund thought he had never seen anything more beautiful. He glanced back at his sister but she only laughed, rolling her eyes and turned to ask something from the next pair of people climbing on board from the small boats. Edmund turned back to Caspian and this time those dark telmarine eyes were fixed on his and he gulped nervously, because there was something new and very intense in that look. Caspian held a hand at him.
"Get up," the handsome young man said, and his smile was again that polite friendly smile it always was, but the intensity never left his eyes, "we should go freshen up."
Edmund took the hand nodding and Caspian helped him up from the deck. Then he silently followed Caspian into his cabin, unable to tear his eyes off Caspian's back. He could only hope no-one noticed with all the hassle on the deck. He had a vague idea of where this was going, but somehow he couldn't make any sense of how it had come to this. Caspian walked in first and Edmund followed, turning to close the door behind him. When he turned back to walk to the room, he was stopped by Caspian who stood right behind him, effectively cornering him at the closed door. His lips held the beginnings of a wicked smile and his eyes seemed to smile. He looked happy. Edmund dared to let a small smile of his own on his lips, because even if he didn't understand why this happened, he had a good feeling about this, what ever this was.
"You didn't get it, did you, Edmund?" Caspian asked, sounding a little amused, his voice low and rough, probably from all the yelling earlier.
"Get what?" Edmund asked, completely baffled. Caspian's lips grew into a smirk and Edmund lifted an eyebrow at him, "No, I suppose I didn't get it," he said, once it seemed that Caspian wasn't going to answer him, flowing into the smooth conversational tone he had been so accustomed to using as King Edmund the Just, "What is it we're talking about?"
Caspian held the eye contact for a half minute or so and Edmund felt that every second it grew more intensive. Then Caspian leaned towards him and whispered, his eyes never leaving Edmund's;
"My darkest wishes."
"Uh." Seemed to be all Edmund could say for a while. And to think how well he used to know diplomatic solutions to any social or political dilemmas, it really was ridiculous that a young inexperienced King could so completely silence him. But the thought of Caspian's darkest wishes was just such a juicy thought now that it was put into this context. Even the way he pronounced the words, his old accent ghosting around the word, seemed to suggest so many intriguing things. And the way Caspian was still leaning towards Edmund just radiating held back emotions, holding his gaze with so much meaning in his eyes... and then Edmund put the pieces together and got it.
He really had no way of resisting this temptation.
"We need to talk this in private," he said, proud of how steady and matter-of-fact-ly the words came out of his mouth. He turned to twist the key in the lock and take it out, leaving it on a side table.
When he turns to Caspian, he notices he is now a few steps further in the cabin, looking out of the small window and looking slightly worried, as if expecting a let's-just-stay-friends-talk. Edmund smiles at the man's head wickedly and from his experience during the Golden Age, he knew that if anyone saw him smile like that at someone, they would have a very good idea of what he was thinking. Maybe he should just stay like that, thinking wicked things and smiling that smile until Caspian would turn his head and see him and get the hint. But perhaps they were done with giving subtle hints now.
So instead, he stepped to stand next to the man, looking through the window with him. He knowingly stepped close enough for their shoulders to brush and, smiling that meaningful smile, said slowly, meaningfully and a little self-confident; "I am your darkest wish, am I now?" He glanced at Caspian expectantly and when the telmarine, still avoiding Edmund's eyes, breathed a shaky "yes" and dropped his gaze to the floor, Edmund turned his eyes back to looking at the sea, trying to quench the triumphant leer that was threatening to drive him to very undignified giggles. He just felt so happy now, so content. But he could see Caspian fidgeting, still uncertain. He needed to make things clear now.
"Would you like to hear something about my darkest wishes?" Edmund asked conversationally and turned to catch the dark eyes in a meaningful stare when he finished; "Because you feature in quite a lot of them."
There was a half-amused, half relieved breathy laugh before he stepped to fully face the younger man, "Do I?" he said with a flirtatious sound in his voice and that sexy, confident smile on his lips, "To be honest, I would rather you went one step ahead and demonstrated them."
Edmund lifted an approving eyebrow at Caspian's last comment and holding the eye contact, stepped very determinedly right into Caspian's personal space. "As you wish," he breathed and with one smooth movement brought one hand on Caspian's waist and the other behind his neck and leaned up to kiss him with all the passion and love he had been forced to hold back since they had first met. He was pleasantly surprised from with how much eagerness his kiss was answered to. If he could judge anything by that one kiss, he would guess that he had been right in thinking there had been something there from the very start.
"I've wanted for you to do that for so, so long," Caspian breathed when they broke the kiss.
"And I've wanted to do it," Edmund said, grinning at the other man and slowly stroking his back, glad to finally be able to feel him in his arms. "Only, next time you want someone to kiss you, don't tell them you think of them as your brother. At least if they're from England," he gave a laugh, "I don't want to blush like mad next time Peter calls me brother and I remember you and your darkest wishes."
"Oh, but this hardly was the darkest," Caspian said and pulled Edmund closer aiming a burning kiss on his neck.
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Okay, it might not be ready yet. It's kinda... in drabble-phase-still-maybe. I'm wondering if that ending might need some smut or not... and if I should solve the Edmund-must-leave-Narnia-for-good thing... and if I should let them sail home to Narnia to find their happily ever after or not... I think I probably won't discuss the cruel facts in the end at all. After all, come what may, they'll eventually be reunited in Aslan's country after everything.
But ready or not, I hope you had fun if you read the whole thing. ^_^ Feedback feeds my muses. ;)