First off, against all the odds I survived. I’m here to tell the tale. I’ve been ill though, with festival germs so it’s taken a while for me to get around to this.
Preliminary Cock-ups
In the build up to this festival a lot went wrong. I wasn’t single when I purchased tickets for it. I am now. C was going to drive me this year (last year he took my tent and I got the
coach). As time went by I became single, C realised he couldn’t afford to go unless he
worked there meaning he’d go up a day before me. Back to him taking my tent again and me getting the coach. Then he got rid of his car. I could not get anyone else to go with me at all. I didn’t want to camp alone so tried to book a pre-set up tent with
Tangerine Fields but after umming and ahhing about it (it was £150 and I’d only bought my tent 2 years ago) they sold out right before I tried to book. The same happened with the
National Express coach. Things were not going well. I went on to the
Latitude Festival forums and found the
‘Loners Camp’. All the people going alone were going to camp together. This seemed to be the best choice so I swapped numbers with people. C took my tent up on the Wednesday. It’s just too big for me to take along with my wheelie rucksack.
Thursday
Dad gave me a lift to Reading station. He was on a mad panic thinking that 50 minutes wasn’t long enough… even though Reading is only about 20 minutes away and it was 11:00 so hardly any traffic. People tried to tell me I was going the wrong way for
Glade. My train was delayed due to an “incident” on the track (jumper then), but another delayed one turned up around the same time so that wasn’t too bad. Got a nice seat all on my own. The carriage was empty.
Got to Paddington to find that the Circle Line was suffering delays due to an “incident involving a person on the track” (ANOTHER jumper?!). Saw some people who looked like they were going to
Latitude. Went to get on the tube with them and got forced into another carriage. I was pretty stressed out at this point so when a woman shouted and glared at me pretending that I’d hurt her leg (I really hadn’t), I just stood there and cried til I got to Liverpool Street.
Got a nasty BK at Liverpool Street while waiting for my train. Shockingly it was delayed. Yeah, you got it, an incident involving a person on the track! I was seriously considering turning around and going home. If 3 people were willing to die to let me know going was a bad idea…
So, I got a seat to myself on the train to Ipswich. Mainly because the luggage areas were full and my wheelie rucksack is too big to go in the racks. Surrounded by some annoying people which was worrying. There were only a small number of wankers at Latitude 2007 and they seemed to all be on the National Express coach I was on.
Got to Ipswich station where many confusing directions were barked at us. I would like to point out that if ever you get told it’s quicker to buy an advance ticket as you get priority - THEY’RE LYING. The queue for people exchanging their codes for bus tickets was massive. The queue for buying tickets was non-existent. I’d rather have paid the extra £1 to not queue. Then as I walked outside I was told “The estimated wait for a shuttlebus is 2 hours.” He wasn’t wrong. The queue was HUGE! And it rained. The only thing that kept me amused standing in a big queue of strangers outside Ipswich station for 2 hours on my own were the 3 crows who came to watch us and mock us. One had white wings like we have at home. Made me smile
Got a seat to myself on the shuttlebus (I think looking really stressed and angry helps in these situations). Had to text C when I was moving and he got my tent set-up. Was looking to be dark and wet by the time I got there.
Finally got there and got my stuff sorted around 18:30. Briefly said hello to the campers before I crashed in my tent for a bit. I was pretty shattered! I wandered around for a bit, got my wristband, went to the supermarket (
Red Bull was £1.50! Like it is at home!! Also directed a very grateful Northern lass to the Red Bull cooler. She did the same as me and thought they only had Red Bull Cola), had a few drinks with C at the campsite. Crashed out in my tent really early that night as I was just so tired from all the stress of things going wrong. Took me until just after 03:30 to get to sleep though. I could not stop shivering. I hadn’t brought my sleeping bag as it is massive, instead I took a blanket. Not good enough!
After slightly less than and hour and a half’s sleep I was awoken by the girl in a neighbouring tent screaming that she’d been robbed. I heard her boyfriend try to calm her down. Then they took everything out of her tent and realised her bag had indeed gone. Later it turned out all her friends had experienced the same thing with a man going into all their tents at about midnight. Luckily at that time there was a fire going outside my tent and all my lights were on (my tent has
lights it rocks).
Friday
Due to the lack of sleep the night before I felt like a zombie. Also, on attempting to walk to the toilets I found that I’d pulled muscles in my arse cheeks from all the shivering. This was not fun! Walking was agony! I went to
Cosy Camper and bought a blanket. The woman who served me was convinced she knew me from
Download. I’ve never been to Download. I made my
tent tidy Most of Friday daytime was spent napping. I was very shattered and making the most of not being cold. As long as I kept the main door of my tent open and only the mesh door closed my tent had a nice breeze through it. I missed
Russell Howard and the
Mark Steel Lecture due to napping (and I could hear them from my tent… and it rained a bit and I was warm and dry and snug). The sheep this year were slightly disappointing as instead of being many different colours they were
all pink.
Attempted to see
Ross Noble but I could not get anywhere even remotely close to the Comedy tent as it was just as small as last year. Wished I’d stuck around as Ross went slightly mad, handed out the back-stage Red Bull to people and organised a conga around the arena to shout “SAUSAGE ROLLS!” at the Vegan food stand. Luckily this is on
YouTube:
Click to view
Caught a bit of
a.P.A.t.T as I headed to the
Aspall’s Cyder Barn. They were pretty good live. Met C at the Cyder Barn. Drank LOADS as he realised that working the Saturday evening shift meant he missed everyone he wanted to see. Met a number of people. Missed
Julian Cope as C refused to move. Headed back in to the arena with 2 blokes we met to watch
Crystal Castles in the Woods, but ended up getting food instead. Saw
Mark Steel wandering about with what I assumed were his wife and kids. We were tempted to say hi, but we were drunk and he looked a bit pissed off and stressed. Then we popped along to see some
Franz Ferdinand… Not worth it really. Everything they do sounds the same. They’re an OK band, but did not deserve to be headlining the night. Saw
Gary Dourdan (Warrick Brown from CSI) wandering about, posing, looking gutted no-one spoke to him. Turns out he was doing some of the
WordTheatre. Went for a drink at
Millsy’s Bar! It seemed appropriate. We had some
Pimms there. Headed back to the camspite via the bar and
drank lots more. My tent was snug and warm that night. Yay! Got proper sleep!
Saturday
Even though I’d had a fair amount of sleep, it rained quite a bit early on Saturday so I pretty much stayed in my tent. Headed in at lunchtime for some foods, caught
Tim Minchin’s set in the Comedy tent. That was superb! Especially liked the Racism song
Sadly missed
Jon Richardson as the area was filling up and we didn’t like the guy on in between.
Listened to
Bill Bailey from my tent. I knew it’d be rammed from last year when he played and from what I could hear he did an identical set anyway. We saw
Ross Noble wandering about.
Saw
Mark Thomas in the Literary Arena. Started getting really cold around then though, so when he started reading extracts from the
book he has out in September I decided to go back to my tent and grab a long-sleeve as I will read the book when I get it.
Got back into the arena later on and felt really quite ill. Stood by the water point by the Kid’s Arena (dear God if I go again I’m stealing a child. The Kid’s Arena looks amazing!) until I’d got through 3 refills of the water bottle. Then I grabbed a pizza and sat
by the lake for a bit. Meant that I missed
Seasick Steve and
Rich Hall but I could hear quite a bit from where I was sat. Wandered across to catch some of
The Mars Volta before heading to the Obelisk stage for
Sigur Rós. Wow! They blew me away. It was so beautiful. I stood quite far back as the sound was still good and I had a clear view of the screen. I admit I left before the end of their set, but I went to sit by the lake. It was so nice having Sigur Rós play in the background, an amazing laser light show on the lake (a machine sprayed water up in the air while lasers projected 3D images into it) in front of me and bats zooming about my head.
I wandered around the
Woods area for a while after that. There was a
mad disco going on with everyone screaming Abba song lyrics at the top of their lungs and some nifty
art work. Most of the trees were lit up and groups of people were dotted around. It was really nice. Headed up the HUGE slope to the compost toilets. Have to say they were ace! They had real toilet ROLL and they didn’t smell at all! Not sure if that’s because they were up such a steep hill, people were scared to use them or if they were just dead good! Shame there were no lights inside though… was a bit dark!
As I headed back in along the lake I saw the light show had changed and now there was a blue tree and what appeared to be a blue monster in it… NO! It was no monster, that was the Cheshire Cat! It was awesome! The tree stayed whilst the cat faded in and out. I couldn’t get any good photos (no way I was taking my good camera to a festival with such high crime stats) but hopefully I can post links to some from
flickr soon. Later it changed to extracts from Alice in Wonderland with the rabbit running along writing out the words. It really was amazing.
I got to Pandora’s Playground for
Lucifire’s tree suspension act. I’m pleased to say it went sooo much better than last year’s. I’m not entirely sure what happened last year, but it all seemed to go a bit wrong and she didn’t look like she was having fun. This year it was back to being fantastic again! Some Brummie bloke behind me commented that “she doesn’t seem to be doing much does she… I mean, apart from being suspended on meat-hooks”… *sigh*
I slowly sauntered back to the campsite via the bar. C was finishing his shift at 00:00 and the plan was to get very drunk and then go and watch
Mark Lamarr. People were sat around the fire when I got back so I grabbed my blanket and went to join them. Around this time it became clear I wasn’t liked by a few of the people I was camped with. One was downright rude and upset me. After a while I gave in with being annoyed at her and not getting a reply to my texts. I went to bed. Finally over an hour late C texted me back. Turns out he’d forgotten all about me and had made new friends instead. When I went to the loo I wandered up to see him. Wished I hadn’t. Eventually went back to my tent to cry myself to sleep as I’d had such a rubbish day and all my plans were screwed once more.
Sunday
I was woken up at about 10:30 by C texting me to see what I wanted to do. I panicked and thought he’d be over soon, so got washed & dressed and then fell asleep. Woke up later to find no response. Turns out he was asleep too.
I had wanted to see
Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging or at least the Q&A with Gurinder Chadha as I have to watch
Bhaji on the Beach as part of my
OU Course. But I slept through it… Also missed
Frankie Boyle We got to the Comedy Tent to see
Milton Jones, he was great as usual. Really quick-fire jokes. very, very silly jokes. My Mum loved him at Reading last year. I missed
Otis Lee Crenshaw though I can’t remember why! Same goes for Stewart Lee and
Omid Djalili. I heard
The Breeders from my tent.
We wandered about for a while and saw
Grinderman, C seemed to still enjoy it even if he does hate Nick Cave.
Interpol were OK. Seen them before though. Went back to my tent to get warm before heading back in to see
LuciFire’s Weimar Liebe. Promptly fell asleep and awoke at 03:00. Oops.
Monday
Got up early, C’s shift was finishing at 08:00. Packed up all my stuff. Was halfway through getting the tent down when he appeared. We walked the miles to the shuttlebus queue. Queued for ages. As soon as I sat down I could feel my back going. The hour long journey sat in pain didn’t help. Then at Ipswich station the bastards changed the platform at the last minute so the hoards of people with bags and tents had to cross over the bridge. I got stuck behind a group of OAPs with walking sticks. Did not help my mood. Had a tired row with C on the Reading train. That was a joy. Got picked up by my Dad and all I wanted to do was have a bath in my bathroom and have a sleep in my bed. Get home to find my bathroom being decorated so I couldn’t have a bath and my bedroom was full of paint fumes so I couldn’t sleep either. Dad seemed surprised I’d want a bath when I got home..! Cried for hours.
Decided not to buy a ticket for 2009. Not yet anyway. Will see how it goes, but the way it stands right now. I ain’t going alone again!
Well this has been HUGE! I have some photos here on
facebook.
Originally published at
Chaos-23. You can comment here or
there.