Fic: The Multiverse Is A Scary Place
Surprise! I'm not dead. Just had a hell of a time the last few months. Between my GPA, backstabbing friends, and some unexpected results from the doctor, it's been a while since I've really even felt up to writing. Things are looking up now and I thought I'd do a little work again. This is just written because it makes me smile.
Title: The Multiverse Is A Scary Place
Author: Singer
Characters: Jason, Bruce, Dick
Pairings: n/a
Rating: Pg
Disclaimer: Not my Characters... *grumble grumble grumble*
Warnings: some-what crackish, un-betaed
Summary: Jason has been to some pretty screwed up places in the multiverse while searching for Ray Palmer, but this one my take the cake. Set during Jason's trip to the multiverse. 7/29/16 EDIT: Now crossposted to my AO3.
Jason’s first thought was that he hated interdimensional travel. His second was how weird his life had become for that to seem normal.
Blinking the haze out of his vision, he made a quick visual sweep of the area. It appeared he’d wound up lying in an alleyway in Gotham. Not his Gotham, of course, but a Gotham. A rather clean one in comparison, actually. He didn’t see any sign of Donna or Bob anywhere. Oh yeah, no sign of the annoying guy with the magical jewelry either… ass.
They had better find Palmer soon, he was starting to get really unsettled by all these parallel worlds. Images of the vampire universe flickered through his mind. That had to be the most disturbing incarnation of his world he’d ever see.
He was just picking himself up off the oddly clean ground when a shadow dropped down in front of him; a very colorful one. The young teen was dressed in mask, tunic, cape, and green scalloped short pants. Apparently Dick was still Robin in this universe.
The boy wonder extended a hand to him with a smile, “Hello.” Jason took it with suspicion as he was helped to his feet, but his reply was cut off as the boy continued. “Greetings!” Jason raised an eyebrow, brushing a bit of dirt off his jacket.
Dick studied him with open curiosity. “Are you alright? Are you physically unharmed? It’s alright for you to tell me. It’s okay for you to tell me whether or not you’re alright.”
“I’m… fine?” so apparently Dick was a little bit… off in this universe. The teen continued to stare at him expectantly. An awkward silence began to build between them as Dick patiently waited for him to… elaborate?
“What!?” Jason bit out, quickly becoming exasperated.
Dick seemed somewhat confused but continued smiling.
“My name is Robin,” oh great, they were onto introductions, “Robin is what I’m known by. Can you name where you’re from? Can you tell me the place?”
“That makes no sense!” Jason knew that flailing his arms wasn’t helping, but it made him feel a bit better, “Why the hell would I tell you that?”
“You talk weird,” Dick responded, eyebrows raised in shock, “You don’t talk normal! Why do you talk so weird?”
Jason just barely resisted the urge to shake the boy.
He was saved from another outburst by the familiar figure of his once mentor descending from the sky. He didn’t think it was possible for him to be this relieved by Batman’s presence. That is, until he spoke.
“Robin, I was worried about you. I was concerned about you. I was worried because I didn’t know where you were. You shouldn’t make me worry like that. You shouldn’t make me feel so anxious. Next time tell me where you are.”
Jason felt his jaw drop.
“I’m sorry, but I met this strange man,” Dick replied, all innocence and repetition, “He is very weird. I’ve seen many strange things but he is even stranger!”
“You know you shouldn’t talk to strangers, Robin.” Bruce mildly scolded, finger shake and all, “You shouldn’t talk to people you don’t know. Strangers can be dangerous.”
This… this was wrong. Very wrong. Jason was certain that if he looked up ‘wrong’ in the dictionary, there would be a picture of this universe next to it.
“Besides, Superman called us. Superman used the phone to contact us,” Bruce continued, “He tried to call Ollie and Hal, but they couldn’t come. They were busy with a duck.”
“They were taking care of an aquatic fowl?” Robin asked.
“Wait,” Jason cut in, this was getting to be too much, “an actual duck?”
This really had to be some kind of joke.
“Yes,” Batman confirmed with a nod, “Hal spotted it while sniffing a flower. He loves blossoming plants.”
Jason’s eye twitched.
“What does he need our help for? With what does Superman need our assistance?” Dick asked, oblivious to Jason’s mounting mental trauma.
“Lex Luthor stole forty cakes.” Batman said with an air of deep seriousness.
“That’s as many as four tens!” Robin exclaimed in horror.
“And that’s terrible.” They finished in unison.
“Get me the hell out of this mad house!!!”
END. (Completion of the story.)
I blame the Super Dictionary
Title: The Multiverse Is A Scary Place
Author: Singer
Characters: Jason, Bruce, Dick
Pairings: n/a
Rating: Pg
Disclaimer: Not my Characters... *grumble grumble grumble*
Warnings: some-what crackish, un-betaed
Summary: Jason has been to some pretty screwed up places in the multiverse while searching for Ray Palmer, but this one my take the cake. Set during Jason's trip to the multiverse. 7/29/16 EDIT: Now crossposted to my AO3.
Jason’s first thought was that he hated interdimensional travel. His second was how weird his life had become for that to seem normal.
Blinking the haze out of his vision, he made a quick visual sweep of the area. It appeared he’d wound up lying in an alleyway in Gotham. Not his Gotham, of course, but a Gotham. A rather clean one in comparison, actually. He didn’t see any sign of Donna or Bob anywhere. Oh yeah, no sign of the annoying guy with the magical jewelry either… ass.
They had better find Palmer soon, he was starting to get really unsettled by all these parallel worlds. Images of the vampire universe flickered through his mind. That had to be the most disturbing incarnation of his world he’d ever see.
He was just picking himself up off the oddly clean ground when a shadow dropped down in front of him; a very colorful one. The young teen was dressed in mask, tunic, cape, and green scalloped short pants. Apparently Dick was still Robin in this universe.
The boy wonder extended a hand to him with a smile, “Hello.” Jason took it with suspicion as he was helped to his feet, but his reply was cut off as the boy continued. “Greetings!” Jason raised an eyebrow, brushing a bit of dirt off his jacket.
Dick studied him with open curiosity. “Are you alright? Are you physically unharmed? It’s alright for you to tell me. It’s okay for you to tell me whether or not you’re alright.”
“I’m… fine?” so apparently Dick was a little bit… off in this universe. The teen continued to stare at him expectantly. An awkward silence began to build between them as Dick patiently waited for him to… elaborate?
“What!?” Jason bit out, quickly becoming exasperated.
Dick seemed somewhat confused but continued smiling.
“My name is Robin,” oh great, they were onto introductions, “Robin is what I’m known by. Can you name where you’re from? Can you tell me the place?”
“That makes no sense!” Jason knew that flailing his arms wasn’t helping, but it made him feel a bit better, “Why the hell would I tell you that?”
“You talk weird,” Dick responded, eyebrows raised in shock, “You don’t talk normal! Why do you talk so weird?”
Jason just barely resisted the urge to shake the boy.
He was saved from another outburst by the familiar figure of his once mentor descending from the sky. He didn’t think it was possible for him to be this relieved by Batman’s presence. That is, until he spoke.
“Robin, I was worried about you. I was concerned about you. I was worried because I didn’t know where you were. You shouldn’t make me worry like that. You shouldn’t make me feel so anxious. Next time tell me where you are.”
Jason felt his jaw drop.
“I’m sorry, but I met this strange man,” Dick replied, all innocence and repetition, “He is very weird. I’ve seen many strange things but he is even stranger!”
“You know you shouldn’t talk to strangers, Robin.” Bruce mildly scolded, finger shake and all, “You shouldn’t talk to people you don’t know. Strangers can be dangerous.”
This… this was wrong. Very wrong. Jason was certain that if he looked up ‘wrong’ in the dictionary, there would be a picture of this universe next to it.
“Besides, Superman called us. Superman used the phone to contact us,” Bruce continued, “He tried to call Ollie and Hal, but they couldn’t come. They were busy with a duck.”
“They were taking care of an aquatic fowl?” Robin asked.
“Wait,” Jason cut in, this was getting to be too much, “an actual duck?”
This really had to be some kind of joke.
“Yes,” Batman confirmed with a nod, “Hal spotted it while sniffing a flower. He loves blossoming plants.”
Jason’s eye twitched.
“What does he need our help for? With what does Superman need our assistance?” Dick asked, oblivious to Jason’s mounting mental trauma.
“Lex Luthor stole forty cakes.” Batman said with an air of deep seriousness.
“That’s as many as four tens!” Robin exclaimed in horror.
“And that’s terrible.” They finished in unison.
“Get me the hell out of this mad house!!!”
END. (Completion of the story.)
I blame the Super Dictionary