intuition anyone?
Okay, so I managed to go and spend some time with my father as he battles for his life against stage IV colon cancer that has metastasized to his liver and has penetrated his lymph nodes...the year that the Dr. offered earlier in the prognosis is not looking likely upon the heels of the biopsy report...although he is still maintaining that a year it is. Perhaps I need to stop reading stuff on-line, I don't know, but the biopsy report read that there is lymph node penetration...that is pretty much the beginning of the end I am afraid.
My mother and I were talking two nights before the biopsy report came back and she made the comment that she didn't think that his cancer was as bad as everyone is saying right now since they seemed to have gotten all of it out of his colon and she thinks the chemotherapy will shrink the spots on the liver to the point that they can be frozen, etc. I couldn't help myself of course and said, no MOM, I think it is much worse than we are being led to believe at this time...again, I can't explain it, but I just get these feelings and I can't seem to shake them...I also said, I just hope he makes it through the fall...my mother's response was "you will probably bury me before you bury your father" so of course when the biopsy report came back and it was bleaker than anyone originally thought (except me) everyone was up in arms...how can this be, blah, blah, blah and my mother calls me and says "you were right and I was wrong". I wasn't looking for validation on my feelings and I certainly wasn't hoping to be right in this situation...most situations of course I am right ;) but for once I wasn't pining to be right.
I know my mother is dealing with a whole lot of emotional stuff right now too and I can see how much she still cares for my father...regardless of what she may say...and really after being married to someone for 28 years if you didn't care a little bit I would think there was something REALLY wrong but I also know that she is doing what she is doing mostly for us girls since we are all so far away. She goes to the market and gets his sugar-free snacks and takes them to his house and she went out and bought him a George Foreman grill so he can eat healthy...she has made and delivered him at least three different kinds of soup, etc. I really admire her for doing all of this.
My fathers sister, my Aunt Sissy, said that if he doesn't respond well to the chemotherapy treatments that he could go and stay at her place and she would look after him. On Sept. 6 he goes to the Dr. to have his port put in so he can begin his chemo treatments on the 11th...freaky day to start something like that...freaky day all together, but I digress.
I got the living will all situated and I think Amee is going to talk to Mr. McCraken about cremation and how one goes about that whole process. My father wants to be cremated and he wants us three girls to put his ashes in a coffee can and punch holes in the lid and take a walk around the Diamond in Ligonier and then go for a hike in Lynn Run with what remains after the walk around the Diamond. I think we should throw some over the fence at Ligonier Beach too, but that is just one girls opinion...
My mother and I were talking two nights before the biopsy report came back and she made the comment that she didn't think that his cancer was as bad as everyone is saying right now since they seemed to have gotten all of it out of his colon and she thinks the chemotherapy will shrink the spots on the liver to the point that they can be frozen, etc. I couldn't help myself of course and said, no MOM, I think it is much worse than we are being led to believe at this time...again, I can't explain it, but I just get these feelings and I can't seem to shake them...I also said, I just hope he makes it through the fall...my mother's response was "you will probably bury me before you bury your father" so of course when the biopsy report came back and it was bleaker than anyone originally thought (except me) everyone was up in arms...how can this be, blah, blah, blah and my mother calls me and says "you were right and I was wrong". I wasn't looking for validation on my feelings and I certainly wasn't hoping to be right in this situation...most situations of course I am right ;) but for once I wasn't pining to be right.
I know my mother is dealing with a whole lot of emotional stuff right now too and I can see how much she still cares for my father...regardless of what she may say...and really after being married to someone for 28 years if you didn't care a little bit I would think there was something REALLY wrong but I also know that she is doing what she is doing mostly for us girls since we are all so far away. She goes to the market and gets his sugar-free snacks and takes them to his house and she went out and bought him a George Foreman grill so he can eat healthy...she has made and delivered him at least three different kinds of soup, etc. I really admire her for doing all of this.
My fathers sister, my Aunt Sissy, said that if he doesn't respond well to the chemotherapy treatments that he could go and stay at her place and she would look after him. On Sept. 6 he goes to the Dr. to have his port put in so he can begin his chemo treatments on the 11th...freaky day to start something like that...freaky day all together, but I digress.
I got the living will all situated and I think Amee is going to talk to Mr. McCraken about cremation and how one goes about that whole process. My father wants to be cremated and he wants us three girls to put his ashes in a coffee can and punch holes in the lid and take a walk around the Diamond in Ligonier and then go for a hike in Lynn Run with what remains after the walk around the Diamond. I think we should throw some over the fence at Ligonier Beach too, but that is just one girls opinion...