overwhelmed and confused
So the Fulbright year is coming fast to an end. And I wonder...what have I accomplished?
The answer: not a hell of a lot. I don't know what has happened, but I haven't gotten anywhere. I feel like I haven't learned anything, haven't done anything I wanted to do...I haven't even really interviewed anyone yet and it's almost over. I feel like every time I try to plan a visit or an interview, something gets messed up. It makes me wonder if I'm really cut out for this kind of stuff, independent fieldwork and all that....
And now there's grad school. I got into UWisc, which has a great program, but I'm not at all fond of the location and they're not offering funding so that's pretty much out anyway. I got into Cornell, which is an awesome program, with excellent funding, in an acceptable location I guess, but has no faculty that I'd particularly fit in with.... I'm waiting on UConn, which has a professor who I really really want to work with, but I'm warned that the program isn't good and that I shouldn't waste my time. I don't know what to do here. My advisor says I should go to UWisc, but I told him I can't afford it without funding (and I really don't wanna be that far from home, to be honest). He also said that I shouldn't even consider UConn and that Cornell isn't the best fit for me. *sigh* so what now?
Maybe grad school isn't what I should be doing. But...I don't know what else I could do. I'm not qualified for ANYTHING and I owe SO MUCH money....
I'm really scared about what my future might look like.
The answer: not a hell of a lot. I don't know what has happened, but I haven't gotten anywhere. I feel like I haven't learned anything, haven't done anything I wanted to do...I haven't even really interviewed anyone yet and it's almost over. I feel like every time I try to plan a visit or an interview, something gets messed up. It makes me wonder if I'm really cut out for this kind of stuff, independent fieldwork and all that....
And now there's grad school. I got into UWisc, which has a great program, but I'm not at all fond of the location and they're not offering funding so that's pretty much out anyway. I got into Cornell, which is an awesome program, with excellent funding, in an acceptable location I guess, but has no faculty that I'd particularly fit in with.... I'm waiting on UConn, which has a professor who I really really want to work with, but I'm warned that the program isn't good and that I shouldn't waste my time. I don't know what to do here. My advisor says I should go to UWisc, but I told him I can't afford it without funding (and I really don't wanna be that far from home, to be honest). He also said that I shouldn't even consider UConn and that Cornell isn't the best fit for me. *sigh* so what now?
Maybe grad school isn't what I should be doing. But...I don't know what else I could do. I'm not qualified for ANYTHING and I owe SO MUCH money....
I'm really scared about what my future might look like.