4 am and not done
so it's 4:00am and i'm done with one paper not the other (the late one). two down three to go. i have spent the last two and a half hours doing nothing but stall on this paper. i have listened to music, eaten popcorn, drank coffee and coke, danced around, stretched, and now am reading email/writing this. i'm afraid that if i keep going at this rate, i'll move on to facebook and we all know that could take hours out of my night (or day). i really wish someone would yell at me right now or do something to motivate me to keep writing. every single inch of my body has an abhorrence for writing this paper. it is absolutely unbelievable just how much i don't want to do it and yet i must. i must do it immediately before I put it off so much so that i ultimately decide not to do it at all.
this semester has been an utter disaster as far as my academics go. otherwise everthing has gone well. it sucks that everything has a trade off even when it's equally important in your life. fun times with friends, involvement in school activities, getting to know new people, getting closer to others. all this is necessary for my survival, and yet if i want to accomplish what i mean to for class, it all goes away. i could easily have better grades right now, and not be freaking out about it. but nope, instead i decided to dance, work, sleep, work some more, and have friends. now i have no dance, no sleep, skip out on work, and am losing time with friends. friends that i can't afford to lose time with. friends that are leaving me soon. that are milking every moment they have left here. while i study, study, study and write, write, write. i'm amazed at how much my life sucks right now.
and i know i sound like some emo kid, not knowing when to stop complaining. you know, wah wah wah. but seriously, i'm amazed here. all i want is to sleep for the next three days in hopes of catching up on what i've lost the past semester.
god i hear birds chirping now. it's time for someone to drag my ass upstairs and not let me down until it's done. everyone pray for me, that i don't shoot myself by the end of this week. i refuse to beg for incompletes and end up writing this shit over the summer. cuz lord knows i'm going buck wild the second finals are over and i won't stop until classes start up again. even then, i'll be turning 21 and it'll be my senior year, so you know it'll be fun time all the time for as long as i can make it into a decent grad school.
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......!
this semester has been an utter disaster as far as my academics go. otherwise everthing has gone well. it sucks that everything has a trade off even when it's equally important in your life. fun times with friends, involvement in school activities, getting to know new people, getting closer to others. all this is necessary for my survival, and yet if i want to accomplish what i mean to for class, it all goes away. i could easily have better grades right now, and not be freaking out about it. but nope, instead i decided to dance, work, sleep, work some more, and have friends. now i have no dance, no sleep, skip out on work, and am losing time with friends. friends that i can't afford to lose time with. friends that are leaving me soon. that are milking every moment they have left here. while i study, study, study and write, write, write. i'm amazed at how much my life sucks right now.
and i know i sound like some emo kid, not knowing when to stop complaining. you know, wah wah wah. but seriously, i'm amazed here. all i want is to sleep for the next three days in hopes of catching up on what i've lost the past semester.
god i hear birds chirping now. it's time for someone to drag my ass upstairs and not let me down until it's done. everyone pray for me, that i don't shoot myself by the end of this week. i refuse to beg for incompletes and end up writing this shit over the summer. cuz lord knows i'm going buck wild the second finals are over and i won't stop until classes start up again. even then, i'll be turning 21 and it'll be my senior year, so you know it'll be fun time all the time for as long as i can make it into a decent grad school.
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......!