Nov 09, 2011 19:08
Title: One Last Time
Rating: R/ NC-17, I'm not sure which, gets a bit sexually graphic though.
Summary: Ville's POV. Oh at least you could try, for this one last time, it could be alright for this one last time. Ville and Bam are re-united after two years apart.
A/N: This isn't a song fic, it was only after I wrote it that I realised One Last Time fits quite well with the story line. It's mega long, so I've split it into two. I am really, really, really nervous about posting this. I am awful with summaries! Well here it goes :)
One Last Time
The constant torment was worse than anything he'd ever felt. Always there, always taunting. Forever reminding him.
Always making him think of the 'what ifs'. Grimacing he swallowed the lukewarm bitter coffee he'd just bought.
The lunchtime weather was dull and grey, bitter wind whipping its way down the narrow streets. It suited his mood.
Bowing his head of dark wavy locks he left the warmth of the coffee shop and gasped when the wind bit his skin. He didn't know where he was going. Today was a bad day, he'd not felt so tormented for months. Foolishly Ville had thought that maybe just maybe he was beginning to forget the person who tormented him so. But today he realised that he'd never forget Bam Margera. He'd never forget those blue eyes, that intoxicating smile. Ville swallowed the lump in his throat and picked a direction at random and just walked. Trying to focus on the cold wind. Trying to focus on the mother who was scolding her children outside the park. Trying to focus on anything. Anything but him.
He always loved being in England. He had a particular love of London. He and London shared a connection, shared sweet sweet memories. Their first meeting, their first kiss. Barely anyone knew about his secret getaway, the small two bed apartment he'd purchased when Love Metal made it big. Bam knew, of course. For a short blissful while it had been their love nest. He sipped his coffee remembering better days, before they'd come to their senses. When it had just been about them, and alcohol and sex and love. Before the horrible realisation that it would never work between them. Before Ville had gotten engaged, before Bam had gotten married.
A tear slipped from his eye as he remembered meeting Missy for the first time and that sinking feeling he'd felt in his heart, before Bam had even said anything. He'd known that Bam's future wife had stood before him. Her brown eyes smiling, her laugh infectious, her gender a stability that Ville could never provide Bam with. There were rumours going around the internet that Bam was to be a Dad. It killed him to know Bam and Missy still slept together, even after a few years of marriage. But of course Ville knew Bam'd need the sex. His appetite would always be insatiable. Had always been insatiable. He allowed the ghost of a smile to pass across his haggard unshaven face as he remembered Bam chasing him naked around the flat before pinning him down and making love to him for the fourth time in half as many hours.
"Bam" He whispered, the sound of his heartbroken voice carried away on the ferocious wind. He found himself next to the Thames; he ambled over to the small bridge and stood right in the middle looking out over the dirty grey water. He felt so frustrated, so tormented, so stuck! His scream of desperation disappeared into the gathering storm. Fat droplets of freezing rain began to fall, within minutes Ville was soaked through; his black clothes stuck to his skeletal frame. He wished he could move on from this love, this terrible, passionate, consuming love. He didn't know how to. He'd always loved the hard way, love had never been easy. Least of all with Bam. The distance, their genders, the drinking being the main problems.
The clarity of soberness had brought back the pain he'd tried so desperately to drink away. He couldn't believe how quickly the past four years had gone. 2009 already. So far from 2005 when his heart had been broken beyond repair. They'd tried to maintain a friendship, to go on as if they hadn't been so deeply in love, but it didn't work. Work commitments and bitterness drew Ville away. Alcohol became his lover, his only relief. Missy drew Bam away with the promise of an accepted lifestyle.
Ville continued to meander through the winding grey streets of London. He'd go back to the flat soon, and there he'd probably down the eight cans of coke in the fridge and watch meaningless afternoon TV. As he walked along he became aware of the London Eye up ahead of him, he'd never been on it. It was something he and Bam had planned on doing someday. For several minutes he stood staring at the huge white contraption, seeing it move slowly, slowly in its never ending circle of tourists.
It was quite terrifying really standing right underneath this huge mass of intertwined metal. It seemed to sway in the sky as he peered up at it. He wondered about the people in the many glass pods. What kind of lives did they lead? Were they all happy to be here in London? Were any of them hurting as he was? Ville had a sudden desire for human closeness, for meaningless skin on skin. Maybe he needed to get laid. Maybe he should spruce himself up, put on his predatory mask and float through the bars of Soho. It had been many years since he'd been the man-eater, allowing himself a rare chuckle he shook his head, gave the huge white monster before him once last look and made his way back to his abode.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He hadn't been back in his flat two minutes when his doorbell rang. Still sodden from the rain, he approached the door tentatively. He peered through the tiny spy hole and saw just the hallway of the apartment block. He turned to walk away, presuming someone had the wrong address when the doorbell rang once again. This time not bothering to look, he flung open the door with mild irritation.
He didn't even have time to gasp before Bam's lips hit his own and the electricity began pulsing between their bodies. Bam's hands came up and tangled themselves in Ville’s soaked hair as Ville led them both backwards into the apartment.
Ville’s mind was a complete blur; Bam had been the last person he expected to see.
"Oh Ville, how I’ve missed you" Bam groaned out between their frantic kisses. Ville nodded numbly, unable to put into words what he was feeling. The only thing he could do was to kiss his blue eyed lover over and over.
Slowing the kisses, Bam eventually broke away and brought his hands down to rest on the other mans arms, Bam now too seemed speechless. Ville had forgotten how it had felt to be held by anyone, let alone by Bam. To feel the warmth and pressure of another’s skin against his own was almost too much to handle. His head was whirling, his heart pounding.
Suddenly it did become too much to handle and he found himself gently shrugging Bam’s hands away and walking away from him. Away from the man he'd only so recently been yearning for. In a daze, he made his way into the kitchen, pulled a chilled Coke from the fridge and pressed the can against his flushed cheek.
What the fuck was he going to do? Seeing Bam again was heavenly, no doubt about that but it also brought back all the heartache. Did he honestly want to risk it all again? Risk his health and sanity?
He could hear movement coming closer and he guessed Bam was either leaving or looking for him. Catching a whiff of his oh so familiar cologne, he knew Bam was doing the latter. That meant no easy way out of this dilemma. He didn't have the willpower to send him away, he never had.
In everyday life, Ville thrived on being in control, but not with Bam, with Bam it was like Ville was the mournful marionette at the end of Bam’s chains.
When Bam was gone it was easy to forget the bad things. To remember Bam as his lover. As his mischievous angel. But looking into those eyes and being in his arms had brought it all back. The pain of the separation and the ensuing loneliness. The taste of him on his lips made him remember the humiliation he'd felt when Bam had forsaken him and married a fucking woman.
Ville didn't really know if he was angry or sad. He only knew he'd always want, no, need Bam. Fuck alcoholism being the dangerous addiction, forget the cigarettes killing him slowly, the real killer was Bam and all the pain he caused him. The emptiness that caused him to crave a beer, the stress that made him need the calming nicotine.
Popping the lid in on his Coke, he stood and drank the fizzy liquid. He tipped his head back to drain the last dregs and heard a sigh from the doorway.
There lounged his tormentor, his jailer, his soul mate. In the few years he hadn't seen him, he'd changed. He dressed differently. Not childishly. Gone were the sponsored skate T's and the baggy skate shorts. No Adios adorned his feet. Neither though was he dressed like a clone of Ville. No beanie, no velvet jacket, no flimsy needless scarf. No visible advertisement for HIM save a tarnished silver heartagram ring worn on his right hand baby finger. Instead he was dressed simply. Almost sophisticated in tidy black jeans, Converse and a deep blue silk shirt.
Physically he'd changed too. He looked older, though not in a bad way. His skin was darker, more weathered and he'd filled out slightly too. He was starting to look more like a man now, no more like a hyperactive teenager. He'd lost the straggly curls that Ville loved to twist around his fingers. He looked good for it. He looked more beautiful than Ville had ever seen.
"You look amazing Ville..."
His voice too was different Ville noticed, serious, a businessman’s voice but tinged with warmth, with sincerity. Ville scoffed. Amazing? He was barely surviving let alone thriving. Amazing? With permanent bags under his eyes and weighing much less than he should.
Bam crossed to Ville in two steps and placed his hand against Ville’s cheek. Ville closed his eyes knowing that if he let himself gaze into Bam eyes it would be fatal. He felt Bam’s breath against his lips as the younger man sighed.
"Open your eyes Willa. Look at me, please?" The use of his old nickname shocked him into complying. The blue of his eyes was as he remembered, unforgettable. They glistened with something Ville had seen thousands of times before but had never figured out. Love? Lust? Respect? Addiction? A mixture? Ville didn't know, probably never would.
The blue came closer, the breath warmer and the kiss was soft, barely there but breathtaking. A moan escaped his lips before he could stop himself.
"Talk to me, you haven’t said a word to me yet." For once it seemed like a request, not a command. Ville tried to speak but despite the drink he'd had not two minutes before, his throat felt like the Sahara. What could he say to him? What was appropriate to say to your secret ex boyfriend who you still loved desperately when he'd turned up on your doorstep after two years?
"Why do you still wear it?" Ville took Bam’s hand and ran his finger over the cool metal of the ring he'd given to him on the third anniversary of them meeting. At the time it had been a symbol of their blossoming relationship. A tentative celebration of their secret love. No-one knew, no-one needed to, it was all cool. Jonna and Jenn kept everyone off the scent.
Ville had to fight the tears that wanted to spill from his emerald eyes. How had such happiness turned into such catastrophic misery?
In the days before Dark Light, they'd been so happy, so in love, so carefree. Of course, the copious amounts of alcohol they'd drunk had helped but to Ville the love they'd shared had been real and pure. Before Missy had turned Bam’s head and before Ville’s alcoholism had become worse, they'd planned a life together. Ville had always thought of the ring as an engagement or eternity ring.
All glimmer of love or lust left Bam’s eyes, he looked heartbreakingly sad.
"I...oh god...I needed something of you with me." Bam curled his fingers around Ville’s effeminate ones and squeezed them. Ville nodded, he felt the same. To be around things of Bam’s calmed him.
This time the kiss was initiated by Ville, he'd missed him and maybe now he was different. He looked different and even to an extent seemed different, older, and wiser.
Ville deepened the kiss parting Bam’s lips with his tongue and ran his tongue along his bottom lip eliciting a breathless groan from the younger man. Bam wrapped his arms around Ville’s skinny frame and pulled their bodies closer together. Ville rested his back against the refrigerator, immersing himself in kissing Bam.
Hesitantly Ville ran his hands down Bam’s arms, lightly dragging his nails. As Bam shivered Ville felt himself harden. He had dreamed of this every night for two years and now it was happening. He wanted it to be as perfect as he could make it. He didn't want a quick fuck. Did Bam feel the same though?
"Brandon, do you want this?" Ville whispered, kissing the tanned skin of his neck.
"I love it when you say my name baby." Bam breathed his voice husky.
Ville chuckled. Bam always lost his head when Ville called him by his full name.
"Focus Bam, we need to think this through."
Bam rolled his eyes and pushed his body against Ville’s so Ville could feel every contour of his body. Ville gasped as he felt their crotches pressed against each other. Bam grinned, looking for a moment like his old self, before letting his hand snake down to cup Ville through the material of his jeans. The close contact made Ville growl. Breathing deeply trying to focus Ville slid out from between Bam and the fridge and made an escape to his living room, swaying his hips as he went.
Ville sat gingerly on the edge of his sofa; it had been a very long time since he'd been this aroused. It felt brand new yet also achingly familiar. Bam always had the talent to make Ville battle with himself, wanting him whether it was right or wrong. Bam entered the room and sat next to Ville, softly he pulled Ville backwards so that they were both sat snuggled against each other.
For once Bam was silent as they sat entangled. Ville shifted and threw his legs over the edge of the sofa so he could lay his head in Bam’s lap. He closed his eyes and willed his body to relax. He didn't think Bam was leaving any time soon. If Ville let himself, there was plenty of time to be seduced later, right now though he needed to get to know this new Bam.
"Why are you here?" Ville asked, expecting a business trip as an answer. Instead Bam sighed as if steeling himself for saying something horrible.
"Missy."
"Missy? How is she?" Ville forced himself to sound civil. It wasn't like she was a horrible woman, quite the opposite in fact. She was kind, sweet and annoyingly pretty. When Bam had sheepishly told Ville of his engagement in 2006, Ville hadn't blamed him for wanting to marry her. No Ville didn't think Missy a horrible woman at all; she just had what was most precious to him in the entire world.
"She's ok I guess. She's gone to see a show tonight. Not really my kinda thing y'know."
Ville nodded, he remembered once trying to convince him to go and see Sweeney Todd the Musical, he'd promised everything, even tried to bribe him with sex. Bam hadn't budged.
"You two must still be close, did Missy pick London or was it you?" Ville needed to hear that Bam had come to London at Missy's bidding. Smiling nostalgically, Bam leant forward and delivered another teasingly soft kiss.
"It was me. Missy and I don't spend much time together anymore. I just wanted to be around here. Happy memories, lots of them." Ville’s heart soared to hear that Bam and Missy had grown apart. Ville tried not to let it raise his hopes of reconciliation. He knew Bam wasn't gay. His and Bam’s relationship had always been an anomaly to him. It was unexplainable, if it hadn't been for Bam kissing him today, Ville would have been inclined to think that it had all been a phase for Bam.
"I don't love her anymore Ville." The sadness in Bam’s eyes made Ville momentarily jealous, but then he came to his senses and sat up so he could pull Bam into his arms. Of course Bam would be sad to realise he didn't love Missy anymore, the breakdown of a relationship was always a sad thing, especially when it happened to couples who had been friends beforehand. Bam laid his head against Ville's heart and Ville felt Bam’s tears soak his t-shirt. Holding Bam close, the Finnish man ran his hand over Bam’s short hair, loving how it felt new and unfamiliar under his fingers.
"I'm so sorry Bam; I never wished this pain for you. Only ever happiness my darling." Ville whispered as Bam’s tears subsided.
"She's changed Ville, she isn't my Missy anymore, and too much has changed." Bam sat back and ran his hands over his stubbled chin. Ville lit a cigarette and offered Bam one, which he took with a grateful smile. For a minute or two the only sound was the inhale/exhale of the two men smoking.
"I hate to say it but sometimes people change Bam, how has she changed anyway?" Ville couldn't help but want to know every detail of Bam and Missy’s problems. Bam looked pained and took another deep drag of his cigarette. Bam shrugged avoiding Ville’s question.
"She thinks we're okay, I tell her I'm busy but sometimes I just go out walking, just to be alone and allowed to think my own thoughts." Bam studied the glowing end of his cigarette before stubbing it out half finished. Ville fought the urge to re-light it and finish the soothing nicotine stick.
Suddenly the idea of wrapping his lips around an object that had for a few minutes had a home against Bam’s skin sent a shiver of lust filled anticipation through his body. Bam looked so forlorn that Ville knew he’d do anything to elicit a happier reaction from his lover, no matter the consequences.
"Ah...and um, what kind of thoughts do you have to be alone to have?" Ville asked in a husky whisper, finally giving in and taking the neglected cigarette. Licking his parched lips and placing the used filter between them.
Ville noticed Bam watching him and saw that his younger lover’s eyes had darkened several shades from a clear sky blue to a glittering dangerous midnight hue. The look that Bam was giving Ville made it difficult for him to sit still. He loved this game that they played whenever they saw each other. No matter how much time had passed or how close they'd been they always fell into the game.
The game where they'd pretend that they had no idea the other knew the way they felt. Ville smiled coyly at Bam, resisting the urge to let out a primal growl and pounce on the skater. Ville could tell by the way Bam was staring directly into his eyes that Bam was fucking him mentally and had forgotten Ville’s question.
Ville took a drag from their shared cigarette, inhaling the smooth smoke deep into his lungs. It turned him on to think Bam had been taking the exact intoxicating chemicals into his own body only minutes earlier.
"Bammie? Are you going to answer my question or just stare at me all night?" Bam blinked looking confused causing a goofy grin to enlighten Ville’s face. It delighted him to know that merely looking at him could still distract the poor skater so.
"Sorry Willa, uh what was the question again?"
Smirking, Ville stood up to place his ashtray above the fireplace, kneeling down he swiftly lit a fire and switched off the overhead light. The sun had gone down during Bam’s visit and the bleak November chill was beginning to penetrate Ville’s living room. In the firelight the room looked more inviting as did the man sitting on his sofa.
With a look of pure determination Ville stalked towards Bam and settled himself on the skaters lap. Fluttering his eyelashes prettily, Ville ran his hand up Bam’s silk clad chest, secretly thrilled at the way he could feel the hardness of Bam’s muscles underneath the sensual feeling of the shirt.
"Bammie, I asked what thoughts you have to be alone to have." Ville lowered his voice to a sensual purr. Bam gulped and shifted beneath the Finnish mans lithe frame.
"I...um...about you Ville." Bam spluttered, trying his damnedest to act normally.
"What kind of thoughts do you have about me Brandon?" Ville ran a fingernail over Bam’s covered nipple and felt it harden instantly. Bam tried to speak but all that left his mouth was a breathy whimper.
Adopting a look of pure innocence, Ville wiggled and re-adjusted himself until he was straddling the American.
"Willa...I, please. What are you doing?" Bam whined in confusion.
"Well Bam-Bam, Ville whispered, toying with a button on Bam’s shirt.”I'm simply asking a friend a simple question." Ville wiggled on Bam’s lap and felt Bam’s groin spark to life, in turn Ville felt his own body respond.
"Willa, you know the answer!" The childish frustration in Bam’s voice Ville thought made him even more endearing and irresistible.
Feigning confusion, Ville pouted his cupid bow lips and shook his dark brown curls.
"But Bammie, I don't know! I NEED you to tell me!" Leaning forward he suckled at the skin in the hollow of Bam’s neck. He tasted just as Ville remembered, like peppermint with just a hint of an earthy musky taste that was entirely Bam.
Moaning softly he curled his hand around the nape of Bam’s neck, Ville was becoming slightly impatient, he wanted to strip Bam bare of all clothes and slide himself down onto Bam’s silken length.
Bam seemed to be having trouble breathing; his breath was coming in short shallow spurts.
"Oh sweetheart, hurry up and answer the question so we can fuck!" Ville coupled his last word with well applied pressure to Bam’s rapidly hardening cock.
"I think about how much I miss you..." Bam moaned, arching his body up and rocking his pelvis against Ville’s clothed ass. Now it was Ville’s turn to lose concentration ...almost.
"A-and..?" Ville whimpered, adamant Bam would tell him exactly what he wanted to hear.
"Ah damn Valo...lemme fuck you!" Bam groaned. Impatiently he gripped Ville’s skinny hips and pushed Ville’s ass hard against his aching groin.
"Not until you've - fuck - answered the question...fully." Ville had never exercised as much self control as he was now. The slow delicious movement of their bodies was like nothing he'd experienced before.
Bam had been a sloppy lover when he was younger, always more concerned about his own needs. Ville had always forgiven it because of the love they'd shared.
"No Willa, I'm not going to tell you. I'm gonna show you what I've dreamt of every night for two fucking years."
Shaking his head Ville tried to pin his lover to the sofa but it was useless. Bam had always been the stronger of the two men physically and he demonstrated it as he easily picked Ville up.
"Fuck Bam, put me down!" Ville squealed. To avoid falling, Ville wrapped his legs around Bam’s toned stomach.
"Oh I'll put you down alright, just not in here!" Bam laughed as Ville clung to him for dear life. Ville soon realised where they were going as soon as they left the living room. The bedroom, where else?
Ville didn't like this lack of control, for two years it had been his way or no way with everyone. Seppo knew that, the band knew that but obviously Bam didn't know or more likely, didn't care.
The bedroom was pretty much the same as it had been in their days of glory. The same wrought iron four poster bed with forest green bedding, the same silver framed pictures of them and no-one else and the same mahogany chest at the foot of the bed, full of sexual paraphernalia.
Bam lay Ville down with such tenderness that it took Ville’s breath away. Slowly with a grace and allure Ville hadn't seen before, Bam stripped his lover of his clothing. Bam took his time and Ville could see the desire shining in his blue eyes.
As he got to their shared pelvic tattoo Bam smiled and proceeded to trace his tongue lightly over every swirl and pattern until he came to the lowest point, just above Ville’s erection. It took the feeling of Bam’s lips around the head of his dick to remember that HE, Ville Valo, seducer extraordinaire was meant to be in charge!
Using all available willpower, he sat up and pushed Bam’s head away.
"Hey, no, I'm meant to be in char-" Ville was cut off by Bam’s lips on his own. Sighing into the kiss he let Bam thrust his tongue into his mouth. The sudden force of the kiss left Ville feeling dazed, it really had been a long time since he'd been made vulnerable.
"Bam -" He started as soon as his lover took his lips away. With a look of exasperation Bam put his finger to Ville’s lips. The infantile gesture shocked Ville into complying.
"Shush baby." Although Bam’s voice was tender, Ville noticed a newfound authority.
Ville felt oddly compelled to obey Bam when he used that tone of voice. Part of Ville wanted to carry on trying to regain control but a larger part of him just wanted to shut up and let Bam have his wicked way with him.
A voice in the back of his mind kept reminding him that he was letting himself be set up for a fall. He wanted so badly to believe that Bam had changed. That the relationship stood a chance of thriving but the bitter cynical part of him couldn't let him relax.
Bam stripped himself and was now crawling up Ville’s body, their lips met in a passionate clash for dominance. Ville hissed as Bam lowered himself over him. As Bam’s heated flesh met Ville’s permanently cool skin the men seemed to cease thinking and let their bodies take control.
Their bodies began to move almost automatically. Inked skin met inked skin as they ground against each other. Ville let his back arch as he felt Bam’s hard-on slide against his own.
Sweat slicked their skin as their bodies sought and found a delicious rhythm that applied the perfect amount of friction. After several moments of breathless gasping kisses, Bam laced his fingers between Ville’s and pushed the older man’s arms up above his head. Ville almost let his fear of helplessness distract him from the heavenly way they were moving but then Bam lay his forehead against Ville’s own.
The gesture was unexpected and Ville found it inexplicably romantic. He believed in that moment he loved Bam more than he would ever love another living soul.
"I want to be inside you Ville." Bam’s murmur was so quiet that at first Ville thought he'd misheard him or imagined it altogether.
With one last kiss to Ville’s trembling shoulder Bam stood up and made his way to the trunk at the bottom of the bed. From it he produced a condom and a tube of lube.
When he lay back down he lay beside Ville. The air crackled with anticipation as Bam pulled Ville back against him, they lay for a few moments, relishing in the feeling of each other’s bodies.
Ville tensed only momentarily when he felt Bam’s finger probing for entrance, breathing deeply he tried to relax as Bam prepped him for what was about to come. He was finding it incredibly difficult to ignore the pain; he hissed as Bam stretched him, no-one had touched him in this way for years.
"It's ok baby, I promise I'll be good to you." As if to make good of his promise Bam reached his other hand around Ville’s body and began to pump his lovers cock slowly.
The distraction of Bam’s rough hand slowly moving back and forth along his length made the discomfort subside.
Feeling Bam’s hand on him again was better than he could ever have imagined. It made his breath catch as Bam proved just what an improved lover he had become. In Bam’s arms this time he felt as if his pleasure was Bam’s utmost priority. With every squeeze and caress of Bam’s hand, Ville found it increasingly more difficult not to voice his appreciation.
Bam’s hand carried on its torturously slow ministrations as Ville found he could no longer keep quiet. Squeezing his eyes shut he threw his head back onto Bam’s shoulder and began to thrust his hips back and forth on Bam’s fingers.
"Please Bammie, please faster!" Ville begged desperately trying to quicken his lovers pace.
"Aw hell Ville, don't rush me!" Bam chuckled giving his lovers cock a quick squeeze. Ville yelped, he could feel the exquisite pleasure building up inside of him, now if only he could make Bam move his hand faster!
Ville had become completely oblivious to what Bam’s other hand had been doing until he felt the tip of Bam’s cock sliding inside of him.
The younger man buried his face in Ville’s curls as he pushed gently all of the way inside of Ville’s shaking body. It felt like home to be joined to Bam again.
Taking his hand off Ville’s cock, Bam wrapped both of his arms tightly around Ville’s waist and began moving very slowly in and out of his Finnish man. Ville could hear Bam’s laboured breathing next to his ear and the sweet whimpers as Bam began to quicken his pace.
Ville knew he wouldn't last long at all once Bam had found his prostate. Stars flashed before his eyes and a hoarse yell ripped its way from his throat as Bam thrust hard into him.
"Oh sweetheart, yes!" Bam was moving easily now, his whimpers had evolved into husky groans and his nails were digging into Ville’s soft white skin.
Reaching blindly Ville gripped one of Bam’s hands and with the other started stroking himself.
"Kulta, ala pysakki!" Lost in the dual sensations of being filled by Bam and touching himself he momentarily reverted to his mother tongue.
Surrendering himself entirely to his physical needs, Ville immersed himself in thrusting back further onto Bam’s cock then forward into his own fist, back and forth, back and forth.
Ville Valo screamed as his world exploded into a realm of bright lights and hypersensitive sensations. His scream hurt his ears and he felt a fire spread outwards and upwards from his cock. He came in shuddering spurts over his hand and stomach.
As he floated down from his climax he became aware that Bam was still frantically thrusting into his spent body, squeezing his muscles around Bam’s cock, the sated Finn whispered;
"I want you to come inside me Bammie."
Growling Ville’s name Bam thrust hard into his lover once, twice and came with a gasping groan. Bam began to slow as his orgasm subsided, finally stopping. Ville didn't want Bam to pull out. He didn't want Bam to leave.
Tears sprung to his eyes as the full intensity of his feelings came crashing down on him. He clung to Bam and began to sob silently. He knew crying wouldn't help matters but with every second that passed he knew he was that little bit closer to Bam leaving him again.
By the time Bam had snapped out of his post-orgasmic slumber, Ville was bawling noisily into the pillow. Bam pulled out of the other man causing Ville to cry harder, he began to hyperventilate, sitting up he tried to breathe deeply and when unable, began to panic. Bam acted quickly and found Ville’s inhaler. Bam placed a soothing hand on Ville’s back; blinking through the tears he took two puffs on the inhaler. He sucked in a few deep breaths and clung to Bam.
"Now you've calmed down, care to tell me why you cried yourself into an asthma spaz?" Bam tucked a lock of hair behind Ville’s ear and wrapped them both in the quilt.
"You're leaving." Ville mumbled feeling silly but still distraught. The feeling of Bam so close still was relaxing. Bam sighed and planted a kiss against Ville’s silken hair.
"You are though, aren't you?" Pulling away slightly he looked into the skaters eyes, they were misty with unshed tears.
"I don't wanna Willa..." Brushing the tears away with his knuckles, he shook his head.
Ville understood, he hated it but he understood. Bam wasn't any wiser, any less self centred. His own happiness was still the most important thing to him; he would always value his own reputation more than anything else.
"Missy..." Bam seemed torn, Ville wanted to believe that Bam loved her but what Bam loved was the title she let him have: Loving husband. When he was with her, he had a better reputation. With a wife he had even more of a fan base. He was still zany enough to please his old fans but gained new ones with his new image as a slightly calmer, devoted married man.
Ville couldn't imagine the mess their reputations would become if Bam ever left Missy for him. Their careers would nosedive. Ville didn't really care about his career anymore; nothing could remove his love of music. Even if he was reduced to singing in a tiny pub to a handful of people, he'd still be happy. But Bam? Bam could never go back to being anonymous. He loved the popularity too much, so much he'd live a lie forever.
"I know kulta, I know." Ville hid his tears and tried to ignore the pain in his heart. Bam was here now, wasn't he?
"Willa, I'm sorry." Ville could hear the sorrow in Bam’s voice and it was unbearable. The anger hit him suddenly. Why couldn't Bam sacrifice something for him for once? Why would it always be Ville who was alone?
"Bambi, it's not ok, not really, but let's forget it?" Ville sighed and removed himself from Bam’s lap, he stood up and wrapped the discarded sheet around his waist.
"Where you going?" Bam asked, he started to get up too but Ville shooed him back down. He wanted to be alone now, tonight he would grieve then tomorrow he'd send Bam back to his wife and pretend tonight never happened.
"You can use my en-suite, it only has a shower. I want a bath." He grabbed some pyjama bottoms and his shampoo. He looked at Bam lying naked on his rumpled bed and his heart began to break.
"Don't wait up for me." Ville whispered closing the door firmly behind him.