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to be able to sleep is a sweet blessing. i slept for hours yesturday. i didnt worry about why i couldnt be with my boyfriend, or if my bicepts were growing, i just slept. i felt soooo good. I feel more balanced. i also picked up another book on italian american history. The authors are like friends i've wanted to meet my whole life. They fill this void i have right now. They write things i have thought before and articulate things that are important to me.

My boyfriend came home early yesturday. i got to lay with him, hands around his waiste and just watch some TV. Sometimes that all i need.