(no subject)
haha emo much?
but yeah, its rather upsetting when you realize the infidelity of peoples feelings towards you. For it seems that i am only on a pedestal when i act all cheerful. But really, i think that in order for me to trully be such, i need to be fully content with those that i am around. And that is happening less often with those that i should be able to trust the most. And what happens when i voice my concerns? nothing. evasion of the issue. but when i finally get an answer, a sorry, what's it followed by two days later? "i hate you, you stupid bitch". yeah, thanks. nice to know how meaningful your apologies are. But really, with this person, the more i pretend that nothing is wrong, the better things are. But i can't deal with that. and if that means that im losing someone, then so be it. At least im not blinded any longer, you never cared...
I take things my friends seriously even if you do not, i don't need 20,000, i'd just like even 2 that i know that i can trust fully. And it seems that you are not one of them. It is not nagging and bitchiness when i complain, what it really is is my attempting to seal the cracks in a "perfect" relationship. As much as you'd like me to, with all your apathy and desire to avoid the unpleasant, i cannot just sit here and laugh at your contrived jokes as you demean and insult me one moment, and then insist on carrying my books the next.
but yeah, its rather upsetting when you realize the infidelity of peoples feelings towards you. For it seems that i am only on a pedestal when i act all cheerful. But really, i think that in order for me to trully be such, i need to be fully content with those that i am around. And that is happening less often with those that i should be able to trust the most. And what happens when i voice my concerns? nothing. evasion of the issue. but when i finally get an answer, a sorry, what's it followed by two days later? "i hate you, you stupid bitch". yeah, thanks. nice to know how meaningful your apologies are. But really, with this person, the more i pretend that nothing is wrong, the better things are. But i can't deal with that. and if that means that im losing someone, then so be it. At least im not blinded any longer, you never cared...
I take things my friends seriously even if you do not, i don't need 20,000, i'd just like even 2 that i know that i can trust fully. And it seems that you are not one of them. It is not nagging and bitchiness when i complain, what it really is is my attempting to seal the cracks in a "perfect" relationship. As much as you'd like me to, with all your apathy and desire to avoid the unpleasant, i cannot just sit here and laugh at your contrived jokes as you demean and insult me one moment, and then insist on carrying my books the next.