(no subject)
i'm so alone... i shouldn't be like this. this, whatever the fuck it is, shouldn't be happening. it shouldnt be me...
i miss my ex best friend. i miss my best mate/brother/step brother.
if only i could keep it under wraps and could do so all those years ago... she was my best friend. and i was such a douche/unable to cope with this fucking thing. why is it a struggle to think, reason, emote.
this is not what i'm suppose to be.
i wish i had my friend back....
i wish jono wasnt dead.
i wish a lot of things but most of all i wish i wasnt living with this thing. whatever it is. i wish it never happened. i could of had a normal happy life. i could of been with the one i loved without driving her insane.
i'm starting to feel resigned to my fate of being alone. i do have friends.. but they're so far away and i cant be with them all the time... im such a useless sack of shit right now... the pains much more exhausting now. even through the painkillers.
i just want this to end and allow me to become the person im suppose to be....
i miss my ex best friend. i miss my best mate/brother/step brother.
if only i could keep it under wraps and could do so all those years ago... she was my best friend. and i was such a douche/unable to cope with this fucking thing. why is it a struggle to think, reason, emote.
this is not what i'm suppose to be.
i wish i had my friend back....
i wish jono wasnt dead.
i wish a lot of things but most of all i wish i wasnt living with this thing. whatever it is. i wish it never happened. i could of had a normal happy life. i could of been with the one i loved without driving her insane.
i'm starting to feel resigned to my fate of being alone. i do have friends.. but they're so far away and i cant be with them all the time... im such a useless sack of shit right now... the pains much more exhausting now. even through the painkillers.
i just want this to end and allow me to become the person im suppose to be....