Conflicts and the Cursed..If Walls had Tears
Commentry From the Cuckoo's Nest
I Broke down the night before last because i couldnt stand the pain anymore. All i know is that when i woke up my mother was enraged and she told me i was going to check myself into the mental health therapy center at This private hospital weather i liked it or not...she said she was sick of my bullshiet and that i might as well die since i keep breaking down, getting sick and what not...(T_T).made me miss rei even more..on the way here my mind was plagued with our memories from the times we had to all the little most insignificant things she had said to me..and i realised i lost everything when i let you slip away from me baby..i text messaged her and told her i was on my way to the hospital and she never replied so i figured she had forgotten all about her psycho kiki...sigh~ then i messaged her again at night telling her about the room they had placed me in that had a balcony and how depressed i was crying over her..She then messaged me back and these were her words "i'll miss you so much ki i wont leave you i take back my words if i ever hurt you..sweetie i want you to come back to me i wanna make love to you all night" when i read that i was so overjoyed i literally cried...but a part of me is scared that the root of her words was sheer sympathy..but im desperate for you rei...even if its a lie just tell me you love me ok? tell me im your babydoll and i will live on that alone...i wanna be dellusional..as long as i have you. i need you..im so scared...Feeding time is around the corner and theyre making me eat oats..ive had the worst tummy ache and i feel so cold and i keep breaking out in cold sweat and i feel weak...Please god i dont want to end this year with another heartbreak...i love her so much and she promised me we could make love next year and perhaps i would give her my virginity ( yes the kind where u bleed)..(T_T)but still im so scared...Bolt the doors of Agony's Asylum..Dont let the world get me and the standards of society tear me apart.i love you rei if i have to wear a straightjacket i wish you would wear one with me..i wanna be bound to you..to live off you and to feed life into you..do you have any idea how much you mean to me?
You will never understand
my pain my suffering
if only you could feel
what your hate does to me
my will to LIVE is weaker every day
soon the angels will arrive
to close my eyes
And now the time has come
for me to face the end of my misery
-My Love By The Sins Of Thy Beloved
I Broke down the night before last because i couldnt stand the pain anymore. All i know is that when i woke up my mother was enraged and she told me i was going to check myself into the mental health therapy center at This private hospital weather i liked it or not...she said she was sick of my bullshiet and that i might as well die since i keep breaking down, getting sick and what not...(T_T).made me miss rei even more..on the way here my mind was plagued with our memories from the times we had to all the little most insignificant things she had said to me..and i realised i lost everything when i let you slip away from me baby..i text messaged her and told her i was on my way to the hospital and she never replied so i figured she had forgotten all about her psycho kiki...sigh~ then i messaged her again at night telling her about the room they had placed me in that had a balcony and how depressed i was crying over her..She then messaged me back and these were her words "i'll miss you so much ki i wont leave you i take back my words if i ever hurt you..sweetie i want you to come back to me i wanna make love to you all night" when i read that i was so overjoyed i literally cried...but a part of me is scared that the root of her words was sheer sympathy..but im desperate for you rei...even if its a lie just tell me you love me ok? tell me im your babydoll and i will live on that alone...i wanna be dellusional..as long as i have you. i need you..im so scared...Feeding time is around the corner and theyre making me eat oats..ive had the worst tummy ache and i feel so cold and i keep breaking out in cold sweat and i feel weak...Please god i dont want to end this year with another heartbreak...i love her so much and she promised me we could make love next year and perhaps i would give her my virginity ( yes the kind where u bleed)..(T_T)but still im so scared...Bolt the doors of Agony's Asylum..Dont let the world get me and the standards of society tear me apart.i love you rei if i have to wear a straightjacket i wish you would wear one with me..i wanna be bound to you..to live off you and to feed life into you..do you have any idea how much you mean to me?
You will never understand
my pain my suffering
if only you could feel
what your hate does to me
my will to LIVE is weaker every day
soon the angels will arrive
to close my eyes
And now the time has come
for me to face the end of my misery
-My Love By The Sins Of Thy Beloved