(no subject)
After sleeping from 5-8pm, I'm not overwhelmingly tired right now. I was going to watch some TV, but I only get 10 stations and Sex and the City is on 3 of them. Back when I had a girlfriend I could sit down and watch 5 or 6 episodes at a time and even mildly enjoy it. I tried that tonight and I didn't get more than 30 seconds into it before I was overcome with the desire to stab myself in the eye with a fork. After I got back from the hospital, I decided I might as well write in my livejournal.
I was stuck in traffic the other day because Georgia DoT doesn't know how to manage accidents on large roads. It was very irritating due in no small part to the fact that the exit before the backup I skipped the bathroom, thinking "eh, I'll just go when I get gas in 10 more miles." Wrong. My bladder and I still aren't on speaking terms (you can read more about it in his own livejournal). It did, however, give me a chance to reflect. And during that reflection time, I came up with the Six Stages of the Accident Induced Traffic Jam.
1. Anger - This stage typically begins with a sudden stop of the vehicle and a long string of profanity. The individual typically will vocalize how much of an inconvenience the traffic jam is and how his job/social life/great driving time will suffer due to the incompetence of pretty much everyone but himself. As the initial anger subsides, the individual enters the next stage.
2. Concern - The length and depth of this stage varies from person to person but it is where the person feels legitimate concern for whomever was involved in the accident and wishes that no bodily harm came to them.
3. Frustration - Typically characterized by "Why does everyone have to stop and fucking STARE?!?" Represents a genuine desire for everyone to just mind their own business and keep driving while they let the police and paramedics do their respective jobs. The individual vows that when they're up front, they're going to just keep driving and won't stare.
4. Anticipation - At this stage, the individual is getting closer to the accident. He typically begins to experience a mild bloodlust. Like the "Concern" phase, the amount varies from person to person, but deep down everyone wants a little carnage. The individual typically justifies this desire with the rationale that if they waited for an hour, they should get something in return. They still vow not to stare.
5. Slowing down and staring - You did it anyway, didn't you.
6. Driving away - This one is pretty self-explanatory.
And don't bother trying to steal my research. It's being published in a very respectable medical journal next month. Just you wait and see.
But back to my night of not sleeping. I just tried my hand at baking chocolate chip cookies. Now, I fancy myself a fairly intelligent and competent individual but let's just say that the cookie experience did not provide corroborating evidence for this theory of mine. Seriously, they were like horrible little chocolate chip hockey pucks. Oh well, can't win them all I suppose.
And that's that. I hope you have better luck sleeping than I have.
I was stuck in traffic the other day because Georgia DoT doesn't know how to manage accidents on large roads. It was very irritating due in no small part to the fact that the exit before the backup I skipped the bathroom, thinking "eh, I'll just go when I get gas in 10 more miles." Wrong. My bladder and I still aren't on speaking terms (you can read more about it in his own livejournal). It did, however, give me a chance to reflect. And during that reflection time, I came up with the Six Stages of the Accident Induced Traffic Jam.
1. Anger - This stage typically begins with a sudden stop of the vehicle and a long string of profanity. The individual typically will vocalize how much of an inconvenience the traffic jam is and how his job/social life/great driving time will suffer due to the incompetence of pretty much everyone but himself. As the initial anger subsides, the individual enters the next stage.
2. Concern - The length and depth of this stage varies from person to person but it is where the person feels legitimate concern for whomever was involved in the accident and wishes that no bodily harm came to them.
3. Frustration - Typically characterized by "Why does everyone have to stop and fucking STARE?!?" Represents a genuine desire for everyone to just mind their own business and keep driving while they let the police and paramedics do their respective jobs. The individual vows that when they're up front, they're going to just keep driving and won't stare.
4. Anticipation - At this stage, the individual is getting closer to the accident. He typically begins to experience a mild bloodlust. Like the "Concern" phase, the amount varies from person to person, but deep down everyone wants a little carnage. The individual typically justifies this desire with the rationale that if they waited for an hour, they should get something in return. They still vow not to stare.
5. Slowing down and staring - You did it anyway, didn't you.
6. Driving away - This one is pretty self-explanatory.
And don't bother trying to steal my research. It's being published in a very respectable medical journal next month. Just you wait and see.
But back to my night of not sleeping. I just tried my hand at baking chocolate chip cookies. Now, I fancy myself a fairly intelligent and competent individual but let's just say that the cookie experience did not provide corroborating evidence for this theory of mine. Seriously, they were like horrible little chocolate chip hockey pucks. Oh well, can't win them all I suppose.
And that's that. I hope you have better luck sleeping than I have.